stuff I find the most triggering

[Lula2005]

I have made a post on here before, im 20 now and I went to the dentist eventually but still have had nothing done because I cannot stay in the chair and I start having a total freak out I probably am the character in the kids shows or movies that terrify the other patients by screaming, But i cannot help it . The thing that triggers me the worst at the dentist is the squirting water from the drill I cannot stand it, it triggers me so bad because I feel like I cannot breathe and am drowning even with the suction tube, feels like way too much in my mouth at the same time, (ive also had an experience where the dentist started blowing cold air into my mouth without telling me he was going to and it just felt very shocking and too much, im unsure how to describe how sensory issues panic feels). Next thing Is the fear of not knowing what the dentist is going to do, I know most dentists explain to anxious patients what they're doing, but mine does not because I think he could care less so this leads me to think something unexpected is going to happen and I freak out, the last thing is how tilted I am in the chair, I know this is weird but being slanted like / is horrible. I've told him all this but hes very awkward and quiet and doesnt really do anything. I want to find a nice dentist but I feel like I never will on NHS and I do not even know if I can change dentists. The only good thing is my self confidence when it comes to physical appearance has improved because I know I shouldn't let it stop me from feeling good about myself. But I do want to get help but it feels impossible without having to pay thousands for a autism / anxiety friendly dentist...

I just want extractions because theres no drilling or water or tubes in ur mouth and its just a bit of tugging, thats why I really want all my teeth removing because I wont have to deal with dental issues anymore because I cannot take care of myself properly and I have considered pulling them myself