Teeth are ruined at 20

[Whatshername6]

I'm scared to even admit this but I haven't been going to the dentists regularly for about 4 years I stopped going as my dentist was horrible to me. She would tell me over and over I don't brush my teeth(I do, Maybe not to her standard but she never showed me or booked me into a hygienist) that my piercings are ruining my teeth. I had had went for a nearly a year to all my appointments as the middle of my front tooth broken and yet she chose to do every other part of my mouth first even though she knew how self conscious I was about it. My last appoiment with her she leaned her hand onto my piercings quite hard whilst doing work which was quite sore on my lip and then when giving me the numbing injection(I hate it so so much) she put it in the wrong part of my gum which affected my cheek and eye, it also meant I had to get it done twice.

My very last appoiment was to fix my front teeth and I didn't realise until I was doing my prelim for school that they were on the same day. My mum got charged a late fee and as we don't have a lot of money she couldn't afford it and since then I've just left it.

This year although I got an abscess which was really scary and painful i had to go to the emergency dentist to get it drained and when doing a xray on my teeth he told me that all 4 of my front teeth are broken and I have to get them removed. I flew out there in tears as his answer was dentures which would be far too embarrassing I'm only 20 I would not be able to leave the house if I had no teeth in the front it would destroy me. He said I was to book an appoiment that was in summer I still haven't brought myself to do it. Even the thought of them pulling my teeth out makes me want to curl into a ball.

I understand that as a smoker I'm not helping myself at all, I've been trying at least to cut back and I've started using two toothpastes. One for cavities and one for whitening. But no matter what I do my teeth are getting worse I have two holes at the back of my front teeth, a hole forming in my vampire tooth and 2 gaps in my front row.
Strangely though where my dentist messed up the injection(my very back teeth) it was where she had to put a filling in the middle but my tooth around that filling has broken away on both sides now

I've always struggled with my mental health and this is getting to me more than I'm letting on, nothing I do is good enough and I've started clenching and grinding my teeth now in my sleep as well because I am that stressed. I don't have money to afford any of the treatment costs but I want to work in a very professional area and I'm terrified this will ruin my chances even if I do get the grades. I barely open my mouth wide, never smile and can't even be face to face with my boyfriend without nearly having a panic attack his teeth are so pretty i don't want him to think I'm not taking care of my teeth or end up leaving me because of how I'll look if they keep deteriorating(He has never said any of this but it's all I think of and tells me that my teeth are fine, I know he's lying)

I really really need help this is ruining me.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Whatshername6 ,

thank you very much for sharing your story with us. It's painful to see what you have been through and how much it affects not only your current state and how you feel about yourself, but also the hope for the future. I wished your past dentist has been a bit more supportive, but obviously we can't change the past. The experiences you described is what makes most people stop seeing a dentists and there are many young people who need treatment because of that. You are not alone.

It looks to me like you are not giving up and trying hard to make things right. It's great that you are trying to cut back on smoking and also trying to take care of your teeth better. When it comes to smoking, I see how stopping is difficult even for people who have no other major struggles in life, but then if life is hard, then this may become impossible. So maybe better than stressing yourself out with this, just taking it slowly and do what you can is the best way. There is so much pressure on you already, no need to add on top of that.

I was wondering how the abscessed tooth is going. From reading it sounds like you run out and never went back, but I may be wrong. Is the tooth still bothering you?

Now, with the little information you shared, I see how scary it is to be told, from an emergency dentist who you saw for a different tooth, that your front teeth need to come out. From reading it doesn't sound to me like you were explained things or given options, it sounds more like "this is what needs to be done and now schedule". I would certainly end up crying and never going back.

When it comes to dental fear, it's all about trust. It may be difficult to imagine this, but dentistry is not about someone telling you "this needs to be done" but about explaining to you what is going on and figuring out - with you - how to best tackle it. Not only your teeth, but also the anxiety behind that. Before you even think of treatment, you need some trust and security. I can't imagine dentures being the only option and when it comes to tooth removal, it's about figuring out how to make it as easy as possible.

The general best thing to do if you're scared of the dentist, is to take some time to find a dentist you feel may listen to you and treat you kindly. Before even thinking of treatment, it's important to get information and feel supported. We have an overview about how to overcome dental phobia here, it may give you some first ideas. Believe me, with the right dentist, everything is possible. You don't have to suffer and you certainly do not have to let go of your carreer dreams because of teeth.

All the best wishes and let us know your thoughts

 

[MumOfBoys1985]

Hi and welcome. Everyone here is really friendly and supportive so dont be afraid to share your story with us here.

With regards to your toothpaste, I have been told by my dentist that whitening toothpaste can be abrasive so that's just one thing to keep in mind first of all.

As Enrete says, the key is finding someone you can trust. The important thing to remember is its your mouth and the treatments are your choice. You are the one in control.

What part of the world are you in? Do you have family or friends who can recommend a good dentist? Maybe Google can help?

Smoking is definitely not good for teeth and I have heard tongue piercings are bad for teeth also. However, its your choice as to whether you want to continue with these, not for the dentist to judge you.

Can you get a second opinion about the front teeth ? Are you getting any pain or swelling which might need you to see someone soon?

 

[Whatshername6]

Thank you both for responding

I'm in the UK, We do have the NHS but they dont cover the cost of the treatment needed if I was to get "new teeth" put in. I looked on Bupa and I seen you could get implants,dentures or bridges. Implants would be the best option but I would never be able to afford them its over £3000. Dentures scare me so much, I know they are not just for older people but try tell everyone else that and theres far to much embarrassment that comes with them, its ridiculous I know but imagine they fell out in front of someone? On top of that I really would not want to see anyone or go outside if i had to wait on a mould with all 4 of my front ones missing, i seen it can take months. From what I got told by the emergency dentist they just want to take all 4 of my front teeth out as it would to be too expensive to fix them and easier for them. So if I go to a densist my worry is that they will tell me the same as they know I can't afford it. I'd rather take my chances with my teeth how they are than have none.

I sat through the emergency appoiment I told them I was nervous but due to COVID no one could come in with me, which was awful. He was to begin with treating me well, He explained everything slowly and told me when he was going to start drilling and he numbed my mouth twice with a gel and then the injection. But when he took me out to the reception room and showed me my xray his whole attitude changed he told me bluntly I have to get them took out so I walked away in a state.

I'm not getting any pain from that tooth or toothache any where else in my mouth. The abscess was above my front teeth so he had to drill a hole into my tooth(I can see the hole) and had to cut into my gum too and that's made the gum at the top of my tooth disappear so the top of that tooth is exposed.

I understand why my front teeth are as bad, from the age of 13 I've struggled so much with depression and as a result I would never look after myself properly. I didnt stop brushing them all together just some days they were the last thought on my mind, i did have school to keep me motivated though and i would brush them every morning before I went once is not enough I know but at that time I didn't think i'd even live to see 20. Now over the last two years I've been doing everything I can to fight my mental health and look after myself properly. I'm in such a routine now I can't sleep without having my teeth brushed before bed and wont do anything without brushing them in the morning. But yet they are keeping me back from fighting this.

Yes my mum lives with me but she lost all her teeth when she my age also as she was pregnant with my sister, I've seen how scared mum is of the dentist. She went once to try and fix them, luckily the man she got was very kind but she couldn't even have him put the mirror in her mouth without freaking out. So it's just me trying to help myself, like the blind leading the blind. Its not her fault she just never taught me things about teeth because of how hers are and all the terrible experiences she has had so I've picked up a lot on the negatives. I'm not sure what toothpaste I should use I bought a slightly more expensive one(Oral B) but if that's going to make my teeth worse then what will I buy? Should I invest in an electric toothbrush?

I want to start using mouthwash too as sometimes if I brush my teeth a little too hard then my gums bleed but I'm scared its gum disease and I have no clue what you are meant to do with it and if it should be used daily. I made the stupid mistake of using it after I brushed my teeth once but my boyfriend told me not to so I've not used it since.

If I went to a dentist who could help me and not berate me or be horrible and they could fix them I would give up smoking all together just to have my teeth back that would be more than enough encouragement to be honest. I live in a pretty bad area and we have one dentistry near me, I get nervous on the phone too but If I phoned they would just say I owe them late fees and not want to take me back. The other practice is a 20 minute train journey away and I'm not sure I can join it if I don't live in that area.

As in regards to my piercings they are in my lip I have snakebites although my bottom row of teeth are my better set and those come into contact with my piercings more than the top. I'm sure they are not causing that much harm.

 

[letsconnect]

I live in a pretty bad area and we have one dentistry near me, I get nervous on the phone too but If I phoned they would just say I owe them late fees and not want to take me back. The other practice is a 20 minute train journey away and I'm not sure I can join it if I don't live in that area.

Hi and welcome, just wanted to say that with dentists, you are not bound to a catchment area in the way you are with GPs. So you CAN look further afield ? .

We have a dentist reviews and recommendations section on this forum - it might be worth checking if there are any recommendations near you (admittedly, there are many more private than NHS recommendations, but you never know your luck):

Find a dentist for nervous patients

Has your dentist helped you overcome your fears? In our dentist reviews section, you can leave a review for them, or find a dentist near you who is good with nervous or phobic patients.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

You also mentioned a number of things that you were unsure about re. toothbrushes etc. - you can find some very fairly detailed info on these pages:

How to prevent and stop gum disease from getting worse

Is flossing is pointless? How do you best look after your gums? Find out how to prevent gum disease or stop it from getting worse!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

How to prevent and stop tooth decay

Find out how to prevent tooth decay and how to stop existing decay from getting worse.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Please do get a second opinion rather than going by the emergency dentist's comments ?. It is nearly always possible to have an immediate replacement for missing teeth so you don't have to face the world toothless. It sounds as if you've made huge progress over the last few years looking after yourself and your mental health - I hope that you'll be able to find a caring and gentle dentist who can help you with your dental health, too!

(P.S.: would you like us to move this thread into the "Support" section of the forum?)

 

[MumOfBoys1985]

Definitely get a second opinion because to me their attitude is all wrong. My dentist always says to me that her job is to help me to keep my teeth and they will only extract as a very last resort.

As Let's connect says, you're not bound my catchment with dental care so you can find one further afield who you'll feel safe and comfortable with.

I would definitely invest in an electric brush they have sensors on which alert you if you're brushing too hard. Toothpaste wise, I dont think brand makes much difference but my dentist says that whitening ones are abrasive but I know lots use them anyway. My dentist has said there is no need to use a mouthwash as its washing away the fluoride you just put on your teeth. I would recommend interdental brushes or floss though, they will really help with keeping in between the teeth clean and healthy and gums too.

The teeth the dentist says needs removing- are they top? Or bottom? There's lots that can be done these days and I know for sure bupa do interest free loans on implants. Im certain there are other options for you rather than straight off pulling them. Are they visibly broken or is it below the gum?