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teeth ruined at 26

7

77xoa19

Junior member
Joined
Oct 10, 2025
Messages
1
Location
united states
As mentioned in the title, i’m 26 years old. In all my years, i can count on both hands how many times i’ve been to the dentist. I’ve rarely ever even brushed my teeth. It feels gross and embarrassing to acknowledge that, but dental health/hygiene was never something that was pushed in my household as a child. Couple that with mental illnesses, and even as i grew old enough to know for myself, it never seemed to be a habit i could form.

My teeth are ruined as a result. At the time of writing, i have an appointment next week to have seven teeth extracted. As well as a deep cleaning in january (here’s hoping for a time to open up to get that done sooner).

While i feel i’m taking a step in the right direction, i still find myself unable to take the steps at home to keep my teeth from getting worse. I’m terrified to brush my teeth. Each time i have been able to, it seems i uncover new issues that i didn’t notice before. New discoloration, new spots where i’m pretty sure my enamel is gone, new spots where my teeth feel loose or fragile. Or the calculus and tartar that the brushing seems to highlight.

I haven’t eaten properly in months due to the worry my teeth will break further just from chewing or biting down. The state of my teeth and what to do next consumes my every waking thought. I can’t sleep because i spend hours googling and reading everything i can about where to go next and what could happen. I’m miserable and i feel hopeless, like the inevitability is that i’m going to lose all of my teeth and require dentures. Although, it’s gotten so bad that that doesn’t feel like such an awful thing anymore. I don’t see an end to this, i’ve been to two different dentists, with one saying they wouldn’t be best to help me due to my phobia, and the other offering no concrete plan or timeline.

I just want to feel normal again, I want to smile and laugh and *eat*. I don’t know how to get there anymore though.
 
Hi @77xoa19 and welcome!

Well done for taking steps to look after yourself, that's not an easy thing to do if you haven't developed those skills and habits during childhood. Have you considered working with a psychologist on developing these habits (brushing/cleaning between teeth)? I think you'll find it a lot easier once you have the right support in place, and an actual game plan and strategy for working towards your goals. Also, a psychologist should be able to help you with your fear of brushing - AND perhaps with finding a dentist and hygienist who you have a good rapport with. Definitely something to consider!

In the meantime, if you think it might help, have a look at electric toothbrushes that come with apps that help with brushing for the right amount of time (they can also help with showing you whether you're applying too much pressure or too little and things like that). Or you could try finding some songs you like listening to that are about 3 minutes long, set an alarm mornings and evenings for brushing, and don't finish until the song is over.

There's also some more ideas on this page:


Keeping my fingers crossed that you'll get to exactly where you want to be :grouphug:
 
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