Trapped in my own personal hell

[Gfan]

I've written a couple times in this forum so I will spare everyone the whole story. To those who don't know I am a 37 year old woman with HORRIBLE teeth. As much as I always say I will make an appt I just keep putting it off for one reason or another. Right now my reasoning is that I honestly just can't afford it. I'm at the point where I really do want to get in to be seen, but with Christmas right around the corner and three kids to support I just can't do it. I have insurance but it doesn't cover much. I feel like I am trapped in this dark hole with no way out. I live paycheck to paycheck as it is.
Today I felt a new personal low. I work in a hospital with dementia specific patients. Most of the time they don't even know their own name let alone much else. Well today one of the pts who doesn't make sense most of the time clear as day looked at me and said "you are such a pretty girl. Too bad for your teeth." Of course this was said in front of my coworkers. I'm sure they notice the issues in my mouth, but they are too nice to say anything so I live in the denial that they don't notice. I was mortified. I wanted to run out of there crying and never leave my house again.
I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I'm sad all the time and feel nothing but Shame and embarrassment. I don't know what to do anymore. The happy person I once was is gone. I honestly hate myself for letting my teeth go like I have. I guess my only reason for this post is to vent because I talk to nobody about these issues. I feel so alone. Nobody around me could begin to understand what is constantly running through my mind. Thanks to this forum I've realized I definitely am not alone. Thanks all for sharing your stories.

 

[D.Speed]

A similar thing happened to me. I tried to keep my distance when talking to people or make sure I had gum or mints in my mouth. It was on my mind all the time and I told nobody. Lucky for me my bad teeth were all at the back.One day my son and grandson came to the house unexpectedly. My grandson came and sat next to me and when I spoke to him he said " pooh, what's that smell"? I didn't answer him but made a b line for the kitchen and the mints. It was then I realised I couldn't go on like that. I found this forum and with all the advice I made my first appointment. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I had gum disease treatment, a tooth out and fillings. Not much pain involved during or after treatment and no scolding from the dentist.My teeth look much better now and I feel more confident. I'm from UK so we are lucky to have NHS dentists. Make an appointment to see what needs to be done and take it from there. Good luck.

 

[Sevena]

Pretty much the same thing happened to me when I worked with elderly people. I waved it off like it didn't matter to me, but of course it did.

Hang in there. Old and not-entirely-there patients may be uncomfortably blunt (one time my grandmother, who was 98 and senile as anything, stage-whispered to my father that her nurse was pretty but a bit fat, in earshot of the poor nurse), but your coworkers are more likely to judge you on the good work you do, not your teeth.

Don't be afraid to budget more severely to save for dental work. There are some finance and budget websites etc out there to help you save pennies here and there, though Christmas is an expensive time of year for everyone.

 

[claireache]

You poor thing. I sympathise completely. You have described how I feel most of the time. I had my horror moment in a theme park when I overheard a man telling his children if they kept eating sweets and drinking soda they would end up looking like me ?

I wish I had an easy answer but sadly it's just to try and find a dentist you feel comfortable with and can afford.

It took me 3 attempts and I still haven't actually started treatment- I'm facing full extraction, 2 weeks toothless and then full dentures. It's hideous but is it worse than my current "personal hell " - it can't be surely.

Keep posting. Keep talking. We will get there.

 

[Islandersgirl74]

I’m in a similar situation and it’s all because of my intense fear of the dentist. Now I’m paying for I.T: need 2 root canals, gum therapy, 5 teeth out on top with a partial and 14 out on bottom with a full bottom. I.T I.T consuming my every thought. I think I actually want to tell him I need to hold off on the top and just get the bottom done for now bevsue there is no way I can pay all this. But I’m afraid he’ll say in order to do the bottom I have to get the top done because I just can’t afford I.T. And I really do hAve no one to blame but myself. So I’m in the same boat.

 

[Gfan]

I’m in a similar situation and it’s all because of my intense fear of the dentist. Now I’m paying for I.T: need 2 root canals, gum therapy, 5 teeth out on top with a partial and 14 out on bottom with a full bottom. I.T I.T consuming my every thought. I think I actually want to tell him I need to hold off on the top and just get the bottom done for now bevsue there is no way I can pay all this. But I’m afraid he’ll say in order to do the bottom I have to get the top done because I just can’t afford I.T. And I really do hAve no one to blame but myself. So I’m in the same boat.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am so hard on myself because I know this is my own fault. I know that all I can do now is get to the dentist to start helping my situation. Unfortunately that part is so hard for me. Every tooth in my mouth has an issue and I'm pretty sure I will hear the word dentures. That scares me to death. I know a lot of people have them and love them, but i have a feeling that will scare me out of going back and my life will just spiral downward even more I'm always here if you need to talk!

 

[Islandersgirl74]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am so hard on myself because I know this is my own fault. I know that all I can do now is get to the dentist to start helping my situation. Unfortunately that part is so hard for me. Every tooth in my mouth has an issue and I'm pretty sure I will hear the word dentures. That scares me to death. I know a lot of people have them and love them, but i have a feeling that will scare me out of going back and my life will just spiral downward even more I'm always here if you need to talk!

I get what you are saying 100%. Making that appt is the first step. My twin sister, also 43, needed a partial on the bottom this summer. She had a great experience. No swelling, called me up after I.T was done and from my point of view was talking perfectly. The only issue for her wAs getting used to eating. She has two of her own teeth on bottom. Praying that I have s similar experience. I’m
Really not sure what gets me more stressed: the actual procedure or the cost. Hearing the word dentures was awful. I wanted to crawl under the chair. Having to go over such a huge bill literally had me sitting in a sweat. At this point I just want it done. I hate being self conscious of what I look like but I just can’t affird I.T all now. Anytime you need to talk, I get what you are saying!

 

[Gfan]

I get what you are saying 100%. Making that appt is the first step. My twin sister, also 43, needed a partial on the bottom this summer. She had a great experience. No swelling, called me up after I.T was done and from my point of view was talking perfectly. The only issue for her wAs getting used to eating. She has two of her own teeth on bottom. Praying that I have s similar experience. I’m
Really not sure what gets me more stressed: the actual procedure or the cost. Hearing the word dentures was awful. I wanted to crawl under the chair. Having to go over such a huge bill literally had me sitting in a sweat. At this point I just want it done. I hate being self conscious of what I look like but I just can’t affird I.T all now. Anytime you need to talk, I get what you are saying!

Since I have such a hard time explaining this all on a phone or in person my plan is to sit down and write out an email tonight. I think I have an idea where I would like to go so now I just have to reach out. I will do this. I'm Pretty sure a little piece of my front tooth chipped off while I was sleeping( I tend to clench and grind now... probably because of stress) I can't let this go on any longer. I'm like you though where I just can't afford this I'm also embarrassed that people will see that I've gotten dentures or partials ( I'm sure that Is the route I'm going) but I really can't keep living like this.