Where to start/What to expect (Pics of bad teeth)

[mgf_86]

Hello,

I have had a phobia of dentists from a very young age. During my childhood and teenage years I had several bad experiences at the Dentists which included extractions without the anaesthesia set in, extremely rude/bullying dentists and an extremely atrocious diet including BED (Binge Eating Disorder) and smoking for several years. Of course this has lead me to be extremely avoidant of Dentists in adult life and now in my mid-30's I feel like I am at a crossroads with my oral health and health in general.

My last trip to the Dentist was in January 2016. It was the first time I had willingly been to the dentist without an emergency appointment and was able to build up some trust with the Dentist which helped ease my phobia. The first visit was just a look and chat, the next were a deep clean and two root canal treatments, the third was temporary fillings from Nov 2015-Jan 2016. Unfortunately, the Dentist had called in sick for my last appointment near the end of Jan 2016 - it was a major blow to the trust I had built up, mainly because of all the procedures I had created in order for me to physically go to the dentist willingly. I had become a master of meditation during this period and self-hypnosis. However, sickness happens and I rearranged the appointment a week later. I follow the procedures again, the meditation, the hypnosis, the sleepless nights of worry and nauseous feeling for days before the appointment only to be told the Dentist has gone AWOL. It was the final straw for me. The trust I had built up had gone and I have not seen a dentist since.

The 4 temporary fillings she had put in place have all fallen out about 1-2 years ago now. She had put me on the waiting list for Dental surgery at a local hospital (Romford) and was told it has the highest waiting list in the UK for Dental surgery appointments and I could wait up to 10 years! I remained in the area until late 2017 and was never contacted. The surgery was to remove 4 roots from the upper jaw where all the teeth had eroded to the stubs.

In 2012 I had emergency root canal treatment on my left front upper tooth after a bad abscess a week before cured with antibiotics. The dentist was only able to save about 25% of my tooth and filled the rest up with filler. In 2017, this broke off biting into a Ciabatta and have been left with a broken smile ever since. To say my confidence has plummetted since then would be an understatement. I have been single for 3 years and do not even bother trying to date anymore because of my teeth.

My reason for writing this post is to find out what my options are? Especially from a Dentist or other people who have been in the same or similar boat to me. A few months ago I had a shave/trim at the barbers for the first time in my life and when he swung the chair back I had a full-on anxiety attack because it reminded me of the dentist. It's been playing on my mind since then that I need to stop avoiding the issue and start addressing it.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to go private in the UK which leaves me with the option of the NHS or seek private treatment abroad in Eastern Europe.

The former (NHS) as far as I understand do not do cosmetic treatments - so that rules out fixing my front tooth but I could get the roots surgically extracted to help my oral health in the long term, right? One friend told me to go to a Dental School where I can get free treatment by Students but this only heightens my phobia knowing they're not fully trained.

Another friend said the NHS will extract all my teeth and give me dentures but at 35 years of age is this the best choice?

The latter (Private abroad) would be affordable in about 12-18 months of savings but is it safe? I have one friend who got a filling and crown in Budapest and was full of praise. They do not have a dental phobia or needed as much treatment as me.

Do I contact my local NHS Dentist and make a check-up then go from there? Do I contact a Dental Hospital? I really don't know where to start.

I have attached two of the best photos I could at the poor state of my teeth after many attempts.

 

[tazey]

I'd think very hard about going abroad,personally I wouldn't because if anything goes wrong once your back here you will not find anyone willing to touch it plus you'd need more money to get back there. If you have an nhs dentist then they can prob refer you to a dental school.

 

[Enarete]

Hi mfg_86 ,

sorry to read about your situation. I can't even imagine what a shock it must have been to find out that the dentist you have trusted and who helped you to get back on track suddenly left. I would say this is a nightmare of many of us who arrived at a safe place in a good practice. Your story shows how important it is to have a dentist you trust and who can guide you through the treatment at a pace that is comfortable to you. It's good you're reaching out and looking for solutions to change your situation.

Now I understand your train of thoughts when it comes to the question "how can I get affordable treatment soon" and that question is an important one, however reading about how a visit at the barbers caused you a panic attack, I was wondering whether
- you really feel able to get into any clinic (abroad or not abroad / dental school or not, simply going somewhere unfamiliar) and simply get the treatment done and
- if you did that, how much worse might that make your fear?

You might get replies from someone who knows the system better, but I thing finding a NHS dentist to get a check-up and see what your options are sounds like a good option and I can only encourage you to look for someone who you will like as a person too and who won't only treat your teeth. I know this might be hard, but the best aim is to find a way to treat your anxiety along with treating your teeth.

You could also get in touch with the Community Dental Service and see whether you could find a dentist for special needs, you can read more about it here.
Another option might be to get in touch with your GP and see whether they could give you a referral for CBT which might help you get some control over the anxiety.
London is one of the places that offers dental health psychology for adults with dental anxiety as well, take a look here (not sure about waiting times, availability etc. your GP might help you further).
Last but not least, we have a recommendation section for dentists in London, if you like to take a look.

You can read about dental tourism and why it might not be the best idea here.

This was quite long, I guess what I want to say is that there still might be hope and some options so please keep on going. Fingers crossed for you to find help soon.

All the best wishes

 

[Mike]

Not much I can add to what Enarete said other than to say IF that front tooth is fixable it may well be able to be done on the NHS. It’s unlikely to get done under sedation on the NHS though.

 

[Judythecat]

My suggestion would be trying to find a kind NHS dentist who can look at your mouth and help you consider what your options are. My understanding is that the NHS's role is to maintain oral function and health, so while they won't be able to give you a Love Island smile, there will be things they can do to help you feel better and more confident. Might you be able to ask colleagues and friends if they can recommend their own dentist? I recommend mine to everyone - she should give me commission!

 

[mgf_86]

Hi mfg_86 ,

sorry to read about your situation. I can't even imagine what a shock it must have been to find out that the dentist you have trusted and who helped you to get back on track suddenly left. I would say this is a nightmare of many of us who arrived at a safe place in a good practice. Your story shows how important it is to have a dentist you trust and who can guide you through the treatment at a pace that is comfortable to you. It's good you're reaching out and looking for solutions to change your situation.

Now I understand your train of thoughts when it comes to the question "how can I get affordable treatment soon" and that question is an important one, however reading about how a visit at the barbers caused you a panic attack, I was wondering whether
- you really feel able to get into any clinic (abroad or not abroad / dental school or not, simply going somewhere unfamiliar) and simply get the treatment done and
- if you did that, how much worse might that make your fear?

You might get replies from someone who knows the system better, but I thing finding a NHS dentist to get a check-up and see what your options are sounds like a good option and I can only encourage you to look for someone who you will like as a person too and who won't only treat your teeth. I know this might be hard, but the best aim is to find a way to treat your anxiety along with treating your teeth.

You could also get in touch with the Community Dental Service and see whether you could find a dentist for special needs, you can read more about it here.
Another option might be to get in touch with your GP and see whether they could give you a referral for CBT which might help you get some control over the anxiety.
London is one of the places that offers dental health psychology for adults with dental anxiety as well, take a look here (not sure about waiting times, availability etc. your GP might help you further).
Last but not least, we have a recommendation section for dentists in London, if you like to take a look.

You can read about dental tourism and why it might not be the best idea here.

This was quite long, I guess what I want to say is that there still might be hope and some options so please keep on going. Fingers crossed for you to find help soon.

All the best wishes

Hello Enarete,

Thank you so much for your in depth response to my post. I have bookmarked all the links you have suggested and after a quick read of them I think they will be extremely beneficial in helping me take the next step.

To answer a few of your points. Yes, physically going to a dentist is my first and next hurdle but from what I remember last time - the first appointment involved just a look and no work which lessens my anxiety a little. I contacted a local dentist to me in West London over a year ago who deal with nervous patients but I never followed up to make an appointment. This is something I should look into.

As for the CBT, for the last 3 years I have had therapy on the NHS for Depression and Anxiety. In 2018 and 2019 I asked for it regarding my dental phobia as I feel the terrible condition of my teeth is interlinked with my depression/anxiety issues. It wasn't until the CBT I had last year, this was even linked into the discussion but I still found it very limited dealing with actual dental phobia. It was more based around general CBT. From the last dental visits, I found meditation and mindfulness practices beneficial so I will look into these again in the build up to my first appointment.

As for the dental tourism - you have made valid points and I will have to seriously consider whether it is an option to pursue in the future. However, from my current point of view it appears to be dental tourism if I want to smile again or nothing because there is no way I can afford cosmetic treatment in the UK unless I win the lottery!

 

[mgf_86]

A general thank you to everyone who has replied. It really means a lot and I take all of your comments on board. My next course of action is to find a new dentist I can trust and hopefully have long term treatment with.

 

[Dg6300]

Good luck! By posting here you have taken an important first step. You’re further along than you realize. Keep us posted.

 

[mgf_86]

Wow, how time flies! Here I am, five years later since my original post, and unfortunately, it is not good news.

Joining this forum in 2020, posting that message, reading the replies and other forum posts as well as the useful information on the Dental Phobia website - I felt like I had made a big step. That same week in March 2020 I had made plans to reach out to a Dentist that was recommended on this forum: Mukesh Soni - Twickenham, as they cater for nervous dental patients.

The UK went into lockdown at this time, and suddenly my focus turned elsewhere, and I've fallen into 5 years of avoidance.

It has mostly been damage limitation until this year. Earlier this year I had toothache for the first time in a long time but I managed it with painkillers. This previous weekend and this week has been the worst however. I was up all night with on/off pain that the painkillers couldn't hide, and I was left googling emergency dentists. I didn't see one. The pain subsided during the day and I feel like seeing a random emergency dentist right now would make my phobia worse. What I have done though is re-read this forum and catch up on new posts I've missed over the years.

I've now got a list of potential Dental Surgeries to reach out to:

1. Mukesh Soni - Twickenham, although now seems to be called https://www.simplydental.com/
2. Richmond Hill Dental - https://www.richmondhilldental.co.uk/
3. Smile Dental Richmond

All 3 mention nervous patients on their websites and all 3 have a lot of good reviews on Google which helps put me at ease. The first two also offer video consultations which I feel may also help put me at ease being able to speak to the dentist first before visiting the surgery/clinic. All my previous dental experiences have been with NHS Dentistry so this will be the first time I go 'private'.

I know I need a lot of work done, treatment and then cosmetically. That is why I want to go and build a relationship with a Dentist for this recovery journey to begin. I fear if I go to a one off emergency dentist; I'll get treated and go back into avoidance mode again. A pattern I did in my past.

I turn 40 next year and my 30's have been me living with a broken smile full of shame, low self esteem and avoidance. I do not want my 40's to be like this too.

Can I do it?

If anyone has visited any of the three dentists I've shortlisted above, please let me know. Alternatively, if you have any recommendations in the West/South West London area, I would appreciate hearing them.

Thanks.

 

[Vaidile]

Hi mfg_86,

Wow, what rotten luck - finally feeling ready to face the dentist just for 2020 to hit! I really feel for you. I'm myself am currently anxiously awaiting my first visit after many years and it would be devastating if something completely out of my control suddenly happened to prevent it. That first step is really the hardest - after it, some inertia often sets in to make subsequent visits a little bit more likely to happen despite the fear.

Unfortunately I cannot help you with the London dentists, as I'm not in UK. From my corner, it seems a bit easier to find phobic-friendly dentists there than in my own country. There's still very little recognition of it here; a lot of private places brag of offering sedation for nervous patients, but the way they go about it feels more like "we'll knock you out so we can work in peace and not be inconvenienced by your fear" than actual concern. The dentist I'll be seeing came highly recommended by my therapist, so I'm hopeful she'll be kind and patient. I suggest you reach out to the dental practices you've selected with some of your concerns and see how they answer. I did that and was reassured by the dentist's reply, it really helped me make that appointment.

Can I do it?

If I can do it, I can't see why you wouldn't be able to. Let's do this together!

 

[letsconnect]

Hi mgf_86,

doing those video consultations may be a good first step to get some idea of what the dentists you're interested in are like, and whether they're a good match for you personality-wise. So definitely worth considering! I know that Mukesh Soni has a very good reputation for his work among other dentists, but don't know him personally.

If money is a concern, you could try getting a referral to the community dental service (I think that would be King's College London for you, but not 100% sure: https://www.kch.nhs.uk/services/services-a-to-z/community-special-care-dentistry/ ). They specialise in helping phobic patients, but I'm not sure what the current waiting lists are like - you'd have to maybe contact them to find out!

Welcome back - you're not the only person who's been derailed by COVID happening!

 

[mgf_86]

Thank you both for your kind comments, information and moral support.

The pain went away, came back went away, came back etc etc so I feel in limbo right now. I don't want to go to a random emergency dentist because most of my dentist visits have been like this and I want to go on my own accord not in an emergency situation. I'm now taking ibuprofen and codeine when the pain does come back and it helps although last night was a struggle, seemed to take awhile for the meds to kick in.

Has anyone gone to A&E at a hospital for dental emergency? I'm wondering if I might have to for further medication but not sure if they will refuse to treat me and tell me to go to a dentist.

 

[Gordon]

Has anyone gone to A&E at a hospital for dental emergency? I'm wondering if I might have to for further medication but not sure if they will refuse to treat me and tell me to go to a dentist.

They won't refuse to treat you, they'll triage you as a low priority so you'll be wating for a while if they're busy. They'll likely give you an antibiotic and tell you to go to a dentist.