M
molina
Junior member
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Hi all!
So, yesterday was one of the most horrible days of my life so far (or at least as far as fear and anxiety goes). You've all heard hundreds of similar stories before, but I feel I need to write it down anyways, just to get it out of my system.
I'll start from the beginning. I have had really bad/weak teeth since I was a child, so does my mother, so does my sister etc. So in my childhood, going to the dentist was not a rare case - it was never pleasent, I was always anxious, but to call it a phobia would have been too much. During my teenage years I started to fear it more and more, because I knew that every time I went in, I had at least 3 cavities (my dentist said that our family has the weakest teeth she has ever seen, just in the DNA I guess) and the filling was always so uncomfortable and somehow always hurt sooo much. I skipped a few appointments and well when I turned 19 and the care wasn't free anymore, I just stopped going.
I've had aches and pains during the past years, but as the fear was so big and all the pains went away eventually, I never visited a dentist in 7 years...until yesterday. A few days ago one of my lower back teeth started hurting so bad I had never felt such pain before. I couldn't sleep for two days, painkillers stopped working. I actually took so many pills at one point that my heart started pounding and I felt I'm going to faint - yes, I was willing to risk my overall health, willing to do absolutely everything besides going to the dentist. I always knew that I hated the dentist, I couldn't bare it when someone talked about something related, I would start tearing up even at the thought of a dentist and so on. But to rather abuse painkillers than to go to the dentist?
Well the next day the pain only got worse and worse and I had to come to my senses. I went to the emergency clinic and couldn't even step into the reception area. I just kind of stood there watching people pass me by. After 5 minutes I mustered up my courage and went in, explained myself with a shaky voice and was sent to take an x-ray. Whilst waiting outside the x-ray, I wouldn't stop tearing up, I was just so afraid. Got the x-ray done, then went to the waiting room. At that point my tooth was hurting so bad I just thought "to hell with it, I'm not even afraid, I just want the pain to stop", so got myself feeling pretty confident. Then the doctor called me in and the minute I stepped in, saw the chair and so on, I just started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't speak or breathe properly, couldn't do anything but sitting and sobbing. Fortunately the doctor was very kind and supportive, asked me what I was afraid of and just generally tried to get me to calm down. Well, I eventually agreed to get in the dentist chair, they had to open my tooth (it had a big-big filling from the teenage years) to get a proper look at the inflammation. Even with five injections it was hell on earth. Of course it wasn't so much the pain but the crippling fear of it all. Tears wouldn't stop falling, I felt I was choking, couldn't breathe properly and so on. The doctor actually had to remind me to breathe a few times because I didn't notice myself that I'm not breathing, just holding my breath. And to add to the nightmare - the electricity went out at one point. Well, actually at first I thought it's a nightmare, but I then realised that they couldn't do anything to me without electricity
so it turned out to be rather comforting.
Well the end of it is - I'm going to have to have the tooth pulled out under general anesthesia..
I guess I have to admit to myself that this is a full blown phobia and have to start to work with it. I actually cried for the most of the evening yesterday also just thinking about the day, I think I was in some kind of a milder shock-state. This is a really great forum, I feel that this a place where the people really know what I'm talking about instead of just saying "yeah, I don't like the dentist too, but you know, once you're in the chair, it's not that bad! just get yourself together!". Riight...Anyway, thanks for the chance to vent and sorry for any stupid mistakes (I'm not a native English speaker)!
So, yesterday was one of the most horrible days of my life so far (or at least as far as fear and anxiety goes). You've all heard hundreds of similar stories before, but I feel I need to write it down anyways, just to get it out of my system.
I'll start from the beginning. I have had really bad/weak teeth since I was a child, so does my mother, so does my sister etc. So in my childhood, going to the dentist was not a rare case - it was never pleasent, I was always anxious, but to call it a phobia would have been too much. During my teenage years I started to fear it more and more, because I knew that every time I went in, I had at least 3 cavities (my dentist said that our family has the weakest teeth she has ever seen, just in the DNA I guess) and the filling was always so uncomfortable and somehow always hurt sooo much. I skipped a few appointments and well when I turned 19 and the care wasn't free anymore, I just stopped going.
I've had aches and pains during the past years, but as the fear was so big and all the pains went away eventually, I never visited a dentist in 7 years...until yesterday. A few days ago one of my lower back teeth started hurting so bad I had never felt such pain before. I couldn't sleep for two days, painkillers stopped working. I actually took so many pills at one point that my heart started pounding and I felt I'm going to faint - yes, I was willing to risk my overall health, willing to do absolutely everything besides going to the dentist. I always knew that I hated the dentist, I couldn't bare it when someone talked about something related, I would start tearing up even at the thought of a dentist and so on. But to rather abuse painkillers than to go to the dentist?
Well the next day the pain only got worse and worse and I had to come to my senses. I went to the emergency clinic and couldn't even step into the reception area. I just kind of stood there watching people pass me by. After 5 minutes I mustered up my courage and went in, explained myself with a shaky voice and was sent to take an x-ray. Whilst waiting outside the x-ray, I wouldn't stop tearing up, I was just so afraid. Got the x-ray done, then went to the waiting room. At that point my tooth was hurting so bad I just thought "to hell with it, I'm not even afraid, I just want the pain to stop", so got myself feeling pretty confident. Then the doctor called me in and the minute I stepped in, saw the chair and so on, I just started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't speak or breathe properly, couldn't do anything but sitting and sobbing. Fortunately the doctor was very kind and supportive, asked me what I was afraid of and just generally tried to get me to calm down. Well, I eventually agreed to get in the dentist chair, they had to open my tooth (it had a big-big filling from the teenage years) to get a proper look at the inflammation. Even with five injections it was hell on earth. Of course it wasn't so much the pain but the crippling fear of it all. Tears wouldn't stop falling, I felt I was choking, couldn't breathe properly and so on. The doctor actually had to remind me to breathe a few times because I didn't notice myself that I'm not breathing, just holding my breath. And to add to the nightmare - the electricity went out at one point. Well, actually at first I thought it's a nightmare, but I then realised that they couldn't do anything to me without electricity
so it turned out to be rather comforting. Well the end of it is - I'm going to have to have the tooth pulled out under general anesthesia..
I guess I have to admit to myself that this is a full blown phobia and have to start to work with it. I actually cried for the most of the evening yesterday also just thinking about the day, I think I was in some kind of a milder shock-state. This is a really great forum, I feel that this a place where the people really know what I'm talking about instead of just saying "yeah, I don't like the dentist too, but you know, once you're in the chair, it's not that bad! just get yourself together!". Riight...Anyway, thanks for the chance to vent and sorry for any stupid mistakes (I'm not a native English speaker)!
