27 and have only been to the dentist once in my life...

[pleasantvalleysunday]

When I was growing up, I'm sure my mother had a dentistry phobia also - which has now been ingrained into me. She never took me to the dentist, and I have bad teeth. They are tiny and have gaps in between each tooth, I'm constantly embarrased by them. I brush my teeth twice a day and try to keep good care of my teeth... when I was 19 I got up the courage to actually go to the dentist and found it to be, awful for me - the sounds and having someones hands on my face and in my mouth, terrified me. I didn't have anything wrong with my teeth, and he suggested I get a plate to pull them together - I never went back.

Now, I'm 27 and married and I have this weird white square on my bottom gums, which I originally though was my gum falling off, but I now think is tatar - so I've made an appointment to see the dentist and now, I am very scared again and feel like he's going to tell me that all my teeth are going to be pulled out and that I'm going to have to get dentures. I'm also scared that whatever happens will be painful and uncomfortable. The closer it gets to my appointment, the more scared I become.

I'm also terrified of having to get braces/plate.

What can I do to make this work for me?? I'm so scared and embarrased!

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hey pleasantvalleysunday

It sounds you got to the right website. You are not familiar with the dental treatment so you can recieve here alot of relevant information and get the support you need.
You are making a change in your life , that is facing with your fear from the dentist. I would like to mention two key points:
1) finding a dentist who is sensitive and attentive to your needs. For that it is important to share what are your concerns/needs/fears and to see how the dentist reacts. If the dentist does not follow your needs so find another dentist. Building a good relationship with the dentist is priceless.
2) patience and persistance. It is better to advance in small steps, small victories. It takes time until you feel oriented and equitented with dentistry. If you meet a difficlty or a problem share it with your dentist and with this forum and you will find a solution, and step by step you will improve.
3) One of the most difficult things in dental phobia is the waiting period before the dental appointment. This forum will be very helpful with getting advise and support.

 

[Didn't see it coming]

Hi Pleasant,
I never went either...I'm 36 and now got dentures.
The hardest part - feeling embarrassed.
The hardest step - getting used to wearing dentures.
This time last year, I was where you are. Right now, i have partial dentures - upper and lower.
The WORST part of ALL of it was that first step.
I swear to you, it was.
You do deal with the rest of what happens, once it comes. And it may not be as bad as you expect.
None of it is painful. And it isn't as scary as you fear - it really is just the waiting and the unknown thats worse. You get through the rest of it...I promise you that!

 

[pleasantvalleysunday]

My appointment is still over a week away, and now the stress of not knowing what is wrong is really starting to bother me. I can't sleep properly and I'm terrified.

I don't feel any pain, but I am starting to feel "phantom" pains - if you know what I mean... like I feel like all my teeth and gums hurt now, but I know in reality there is no pain there.

I'm going crazy waiting! I just wish I could get it over with.

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hey
I there a specific dental problem that you want the dentist to help you with (expect for the tartar)?
It is very useful for the dentist to have a "main complain" that can be addressed.

 

[pleasantvalleysunday]

Well, that's really just it. I don't have any pain really. I'm only imagining there is pain because I don't need to take pain killers and if I stop thinking about it, the 'slight imaginary pain' goes away. I'm just paranoid about the white thing.

I actually take good care of my teeth because I'm scared of going to the dentist, so I have never even had a toothache!

I guess my complaint is the white thing!

 

[Dr. Daniel]

I guess my complaint is the white thing!

That's great, because this kind of "main complain" gives a direction to the dental appointment. It's important that the dentist addresses this complain (as well other issues if there are any). By the way, there is a chance that main complain will change over the course of time.

You wrote that you have not been for a long time at the dentist. Can you share with us what is it exactly that you find difficult regarding the dental experience? is there something that can help in improving this kind of experience?

 

[speleojunky]

I am very scared again and feel like he's going to tell me that all my teeth are going to be pulled out and that I'm going to have to get dentures. I'm also scared that whatever happens will be painful and uncomfortable. The closer it gets to my appointment, the more scared I become.

Hi there and welcome!!! I haven't posted on this board in quite a while but stumbled across yours. I can relate to the fear of the dentist saying that all the teeth had to come out. I had neglected going for years also and had accumulated a lot of tartar on my teeth. THAT was embarrassing for me! I knew it needed to be removed but I had convinced myself that the tartar was holding them in. I was also convinced that if the teeth didn't fall out on their own after removing the tartar then the dentist would insist that all of them be pulled.

Well I finally went to the dentist (after seeing one with a trustworthy face in a tv ad... I now adore her) and she did have to remove the tartar (via root planning / scaling) but the teeth stayed!! And they weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. Now after going regularly for the past year or so, my teeth and gums look healthier and better than I could have ever imagined. I enjoy going now for the maintenance.

I'm 37 and have my first cavity which I am getting filled tomorrow so I have a new set of fears but I'm so glad I finally built the courage to go to the dentist and I'm happy to go regularly so I can get less treatment and not more. (If she hadn't found this cavity during a routine visit, it would probably be too late if I waited for pain to alert me).

One thing that worked for me was being extremely up front with her with all my fears during my first appointment. She was able to do a lot of reassuring and speaks to me with sensitivity about my phobia. Also, remember that the dentist is there to help you, not hurt you. They want you to keep your teeth and will do everything they can to make that happen. And when you are finally there, the fear of the unknown will be gone, you can think more realistically and I'd be willing to place money that it won't be as bad as you think.

Good luck and congratulations on making your decision to go!!

Sherrye