Bad teeth but fear of the dentist

[Kay021]

Hi,
I have very bad teeth I know they all need to be removed. I have a very bad fear of the dentist, my main fear
Is being judged for the state of my teeth the thought of it makes me so anxious and sad. I am not scared of the needles but I have fear of pain and how I would feel after any dental work.
I’m just really down about this at the minute and honestly don’t know how to move forward.
If anyone is in a similar situation and would like to chat, I would really like to do so. Thanks in advance

 

[Godmother1]

@Kay021 my appointment is tomorrow I feel like you but I feel once I’ve got through that first embarrassment and have a plan from the dentist whatever that may be I will feel a bit better but at the moment I’m terrified We can get through this though. We just have to tell ourselves that no matter what we have done, when we’re sitting in the chair it will be over soon. It’s not something that will last forever. That particular scary moment will end and we will have done it. Good luck with whatever happens and you can do this and so can I

 

[Kay021]

@Godmother1 thank you for your reply! I am glad I am not the only one.
My teeth are so bad tho! How bad are your teeth if you don’t mind me asking?
I just feel so down and depressed about it all at the moment.

 

[saikyouiku]

@Kay021 Hey girlie. I'm in a similar situation to you. I just took my first step of going to the dentist for the first time in over ten years and I had a decently pleasant experience. That first appointment is usually like an intake and meet and greet scenario with the doctor and their hygienists. I did a lot of research on dentists before I landed on mine, and the main thing I was searching for was a non judgmental and comfort focused office. Dentists understand how vulnerable their patients are so they usually are very kind and reassuring when going over what's happening in your mouth, even if it's not ideal like my 2 broken teeth and millions of cavities. You get x-rays done, they look in your mouth, take pictures, and make a simple to understand treatment plan. And even if you decide you don't like your dentist after that initial visit, you don't have to go back! You will have your x-rays and records that you can bring to a new office and hopefully find a doctor you feel safe around. The hardest part is setting the appointment and walking through that door, but once the visit is over you will feel so relieved that you finally reached out for help. You can do it

 

[Kay021]

@saikyouiku thank you for you post!
Congratulations on making that first step which is so hard!
I have contacted a few local dentists ( that alone is a massive step for me) but the waiting lists are 2 years plus! Ideally I want to go private and have full upper implants as I don’t want dentures at my age but I just don’t have the funds. I need a side hustle to make money fast lol!
I am so happy for you tho!

 

[sarasue71]

@Kay021
I was you several years ago. After decades of dental avoidance my front tooth came loose so I had to go. I found a compassionate dentist who really took the time to make me feel safe and not judged. My teeth were not able to be saved and in the end I had them all pulled. The physical pain was nothing compared to the mental pain of knowing I had done this to myself. Fast forward to today. I have a beautiful full set of implant supported dentures. The infection that would have continued to damage my body is completely gone. I have a smile I can love again and I can eat pretty much anything. We can do hard things! Im cheering for you! Maybe it won't be as bad as you anticipate. Big hugs.

 

[borderer]

@Kay021 Hi Kay. I'm really sorry your going through this but you're far from being the only one. I had dental phobia and didn't see a dentist for 40 years, not until I started to have teeth coming out and just HAD to get myself sorted. Firstly, your teeth might not be as bad as you think. Dentists can save a lot these days and use what you've got as a basis for repairs and enhancements. They've also seen much worse than anything you're presenting with. So,
1. Look on here for dentists in your area who advertise that they are comfortable with anxious patients.
2. Check out their reviews and recommendations on here.
3. Go along to the dentist's practice but don't go in yet, just touch the door, linger a moment and walk on. Maybe in the evening when they're shut. That's desensitisation.
4. Make an initial appointment explaining your situation, the receptionist will understand. Say you just want to talk to the dentist, nothing more. Some dentists will agree to meet you outside if you really can't get through the door.
5. Once you're in the surgery the dentist will ask you to sit in a chair in the, not THE chair.
6. Just talk. Explain how you've got to where you are and how bad and self-conscious you feel. It doesn't matter if you you cry.
7. If things feel right (and they almost certainly will) the dentist will ask if you feel able to move to THE chair so that he can just make a quick assessment. He's not going to do anything. If you get through this he will probably suggest you go into an adjacent room for a painless x-ray.
8. If you're scared of the actual treatments ask about intravenous sedation. It costs a few hundred pounds and only certain dentists can do it. Perhaps check this out when researching dentists. If they do it their website will be sure to say so. It's REALLY good and a fantastic way to break the back of a treatment program. (I had this).
9. Now you're broken the ice and you're set up. You're going to feel SO relieved when you walk out and the dentist now has the information he needs.
10. From here a treatment plan can be worked up and you're on your way!
Remember, everything changes and everything passes. Just a few months from now all this can be behind you and you can be setting off on what will feel like a new life.

 

[Kay021]

@sarasue71 thank you. I know all mine need removing especially on the top. I am looking into full implants but I just know it will take me years to save for it.
I am in pain a lot lately and just the whole thing is affecting me a lot mentally xx

 

[sarasue71]

Pain is its own form of mental torture. I was on antibiotics for quite awhile to get rid of all the infection. I also had dentures for a few years since implants weren't financially possible for me either. First step is getting your pain under control. The most freeing part of getting rid of my teeth was knowing that after that healed the pain would be gone. I'm sending you all the positive vibes!

 

[Kay021]

@sarasue71 thank you. Nice to talk to someone who has been through it.
I just don’t think I could do dentures I am only 35 it’s just a rubbish situation to be in at the moment.

 

[sarasue71]

I was 50 and I'm 55 now. Honestly my dentures looked better than my real teeth smile. Once they told me that dental infections damage your heart health I decided I was going to do whatever it takes to get healthy. It's so frustrating

 

[spanna]

Hi Kay021,

Firstly well done for sharing your situation and seeking advice here, that's already a big step, this is a great place to talk to others in a very similar situation as yourself and who really understand your fears.

My own dental issues a few years back were a bit different to yours so I'm not best placed to offer advice but I did find a thread that may be useful for you. I'll attempt to share the link below but I'm not quite sure if I'm capable of that so
One thing I can 100% vouch for is that finding the right dentist makes literally all the difference and can make the most daunting of appointment doable. Also, no matter how bad you think your teeth are they are definitely not the worst the dentist has seen, probably not even the worst that week. I really believe you can conquer this phobia with the right dentist. I hope we can follow your journey and read your success story one day.

The whole nhs vs private is a real dilemma for a lot of people in the UK now unfortunately. Just know that if you did opt to go private a lot of practices can offer payment plans to spread the cost of expensive treatments. So please don't despair as there are always options.

I wish you all the best on this journey



Thread 'My denture journey at 38…' https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/my-denture-journey-at-38….36743/

 

[jakesmith]

I've found dentists to not be particularly judgemental nowadays. You will do well.

 

[Godmother1]

I found a nhs dentist at last but I had 2 appointments cancelled. I tried to make a third on the phone but after holding in a queue for an hour I got cut off. I went into the dentist in person and found they had an IT problem but was able to make an appointment and that’s tomorrow. I am terrified Most of my teeth are broken and crumbling and I’m pretty sure they will all have to come out. I am so envious of the people saying they are having teeth removed and getting implants. There is no possibility of that, I’m a pensioner and I can’t afford any sort of payment plan so it will be dentures. At the moment though I just need the courage to go to my appointment and cope with my embarrassment.

 

[Godmother1]

Update
I’ve now been for my dentist appointment and it was ok. As I thought I am going to have my teeth removed and have dentures. Today I had a hygienist appointment because the dentist said I have very puffy gums so I have to sort that out before getting dentures so I have three months of brushing and salt water mouth washing. I’m ok with all that (well sort of) but I feel very annoyed. Basically although I know the state of my teeth is partly due to neglect and I take responsibility for that but I asked the dentist if my medication could have made them worse and he said yes. I mentioned this to the hygienist and she said yes and my diabetes has probably made them brittle added to the fact I have dry mouth when I sleep and am an open mouth breather when I sleep. Now I have had type 2 diabetes for quite a few years. At no time has any medical professional like dentist, doctor, diabetic nurse EVER said anything about this. If I had been told the affect it can have on your teeth I would have been more vigilant. As I say I know the responsibility is mine but I didn’t realise this can happen and now it’s too late

 

[Kay021]

@Godmother1 hey lovely! Well done for going to the appointment, it’s a big step and I know it is not exactly to plan you wish but at least you have a plan in place.

I was suffering all weekend with very bad toothache, had to get an emergency dentist appointment and I am on antibiotics as I have an infection.
Going to the appointments were so hard but i was in that much pain it was needed!
I am still struggling to find a dentist in my area that is accepting patients.
I just want to feel normal again my teeth have completely took over my life lately, I have anxiety I am in pain on and off and I am just so down about it all.