Bad teeth due to depression

[mentalanddental]

Hello everyone. I've been lurking on this forum for a couple of days, but tomorrow I am going to the dentist for the first time in a few years. I am 26 and in graduate school, and while I was getting my bachelor's degree I went through a period of depression during which I would brush my teeth once every day or every few days. I didn't start flossing until recently either. On the surface my teeth look okay, but when I open my mouth and look in a mirror I see several visible cavities and in the past couple of days two of my molars have started hurting. I know I will need a lot (like 5+) of fillings and possibly a root canal or two. My gums are also unhealthy and I am afraid I have developed periodontitis. I have staining at the base of at least four of my molars and I am so scared that I will lose my teeth. I am young enough that bone loss due to extractions could potentially lower my quality of life for decades to come, but I don't have the money for implants. I am so ashamed that I let things get this bad and I am scared that I have done irreparable harm to my teeth due to neglect.

I got dental insurance this past week and in less than 12 hours I will be at the dentist for the first time in years. I am afraid of how much it will cost, I feel like I don't deserve to be healthy because the neglect was my choice, and I'm angry at myself for not taking my dental health seriously. I've done a bit of reading and apparently poor dental hygiene is a fairly common symptom of depression, but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to be gentle with myself about this issue. I should have known better, and I feel like I've ruined my life.

I would appreciate any advice or encouragement. I know I will feel better after getting this taken care of, and that my health is more important than my credit score, but it's still difficult.

 

[grumpybear]

Neglecting our own health in one way or another is something everyone has done at some stage in life. There are more people who don't have the best oral hygiene out there than you can imagine. I for one, did not go to the dentist for over 20 years and did not floss a single day in my life up until March last year, and I'm in my late 30s. So you are not alone.

It's good that you are going to get examined by a dentist soon, to do a "stock-take" of how and where things are up to, so you can then work from there. Take a step at a time, take each step as it comes.

What matters now is that you are committed to make things work and get back on top of things. We cannot do anything to change what's in the past, so no point beating yourself up over it. It will only hinder you from moving forward. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Enarete]

Dear mentalanddental,

I am sorry to read about your fear and all the heavy feelings that you are going through right now.

First of all: very well done for having made an appointment and please give yourself a credit for that. It is very easy to focus on all the stuff that is not as you would like it to be, but it is very important to keep in mind what you achieved up to now. Posting here is a great step as well and you will find a lot of help here.

It's not unusual to feel shame and regret and a lot of fear when it comes to a first dental visit. After all, first visit is really going into unknown - you don't know what treatment will be needed, you are not familiar your dental team, you have no idea about the cost so you just assume the worst case of everything. Good thing is that this is mostly not the case. If you look at the success stories here on the forum you will find that the most people needed much less treatment than they thought they would.

You didn't ruin your life and you didn't have much of a choice. Depression is not a choice and it's a state where even getting out of bed can seem impossible. It sounds like you were in the middle of your studies at that time and if you even managed to brush once a week or so then it is already a huge achievement. I am sure you will learn to be more gentle with yourself once the first steps of your dental journey are done.

If you can, try to think from step to step. The only important thing for today is your dental visit. You will get there, have some meet and greet with your dentist, get an exam and get some information. Today is your first step for things getting better. You can think of costs and all the other things that worry you later.
My last piece of advice would be (and I know it is hard): if you like your dentist and your dental team, try to be open and honest about the things that worry you. It will help them to put you at ease and take better care of you.

All the best wishes for today and keep us posted

 

[mentalanddental]

Thank you Grumpybear and Enarete.

I just got back from my appointment. I ended up being there for 5 hours because the dentist wanted to get started right away. I did not need a root canal, although the dentist said if I held off for much longer I definitely would have needed one. I have a few deep pockets but no full-fledged periodontitis like I had feared. I had way more cavities than I thought - 18 total. They filled 9 of them today and are going to do the rest on Monday. Once that is done I will need braces because my teeth are crowded and sticking out at odd angles. I got approved for a loan for half of the cost, and had to ask my parents for help with the rest. I am so ashamed that now I am making it their problem too.

I am so disappointed in myself. I had more dental work done this morning than some people have in their entire lives, and I am only halfway done. While I know it is mostly due to my depression, I still feel like this is a personal failing. I know I will feel a lot better once it is all taken care of, but right now I just feel like an idiot and a waste of resources. I cried off and on throughout the appointment. No one lectured me or anything - they did not have to because I admitted straight away that this was my fault and that I am angry with myself that it got this bad. I should have gotten insurance sooner, should have kept up with check-ups and cleanings, should have prioritized my dental health more. Nothing to be done about that now, though.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Mentalanddental.

First off.. just really , despite the depression and despite the fear and anxiety you are doing this.. You are amazinly courageous,, even if you don't feel it.. you will know this in hindsight and its amazing that even though things have been really difficult in the past and got you to this point.. its a starting point... and you are doing it and thats what matters..

I know.. from experience that my inner critic can produce the worst evidence against myself making me to see all my faults and flaws and shame me for my past.. but coming from another perspective look at all your strengths..
-you are totally stepping out of your comfort zone to take care of this now not knowing what it would entail
-you are making teh decision to trust someone with your care and share details that you are embarraseed of but you are doing it
-you are being brave to ask for help from your family and resourceful to find a way to take care of yourself
-you are also taking personal responsibilty to care for yourself by doing the loan which is going to be a sacrifice on your end too but totally worth it
-you even did a huge amount of treatment right away... this is huge!! just jumping right in!

There are so many reasons to really applaud yourself .. I know we are all proud of you today and I hope you can do something special to celebrate your victories.. maybe it is just a start but you are doing it and please do not be disappointed in yourself.. because you have alot of reasons to believe you are strong and amazing.. again.. I know depression and inner critic and hard to get past this sometimes but im sure i"m not the only one who will tell you you are doing great and deserve the best of care!!!

 

[Animalhouse]

Lots of people neglect their oral or medical health and we all make mistakes in life. I only went to the dentist one time in the first 30 years of my life and this year I have made many visits to get all of the work done that I needed. I was initially embarrassed about the extent of work I needed but now that it is mostly done, I no longer hate to see my teeth in the mirror. They aren't perfect, but no one but myself and the dental staff know how many fillings and crowns I have. That's why modern dentistry is the way it is. You can't change the past. You can only move forward which is what you are already doing! Be proud of taking care of yourself now. Don't beat yourself up about the past