PhobicMare
Junior member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2020
- Messages
- 3
- Location
- London, UK
Hi,
I hope you are all well.
I need help & need it fast. I'm currently sitting here with swollen gums and shaking as I type.
I have dental phobia and generally think I'm going to die if I'm operated on. But I desperately need to be operated on.
I'm going to try to tell you how my phobia came about, in a nutshell. Apologies if it ends up being a lengthy post - there are a lot of parts, but they all link up!
I was diagnosed with depression in my early teens (in the 90s). I was also constantly ill, sometimes with symptoms that resulted in having to call the paramedics. The Doctors couldn't explain it properly - I guess this is how I started being treated like I was a hypochondriac. So, when I thought I was pregnant (even though I was on the pill) my Dr insisted it was me being paranoid. I was stupidly trusting of her. Eventually I got a test and decided to go through with the pregnancy - a mother at 18 years old!
Before my daughter was born, the only thing I was proud of was my teeth. The only thing that didn't give me anxiety was going to the dentist! I had a perfect set of teeth - it was the only time I received compliments. When I was heavily pregnant (a time when your teeth are weakened, as I was told) my wisdom teeth decided to come through early. My dentist was delighted with their condition. When I asked when I was going to have them removed my dentist advised "You're not. As a dentist, it's absolute sacrilege to remove perfectly healthy teeth!".
This is where things rapidly go downhill (over the space of a few years). My teeth started moving, eventually crushing each other so that some fell out. I stopped going to that dentist but the next was no better. When I complained about a pain in one of my molars, the dentist said he couldn't see anything wrong - it must be a 'phantom pain' (?!?!?!) A few weeks later, a shard of tooth fell off. That was it - I couldn't trust dentists again!
During those 3 years, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for depression and post-natal depression. This was a horrific experience and obviously has compounded my lack of trust in all medics.
This leads me on to my mental condition. I was diagnosed with, what is now called, C-PTSD, around 5 years ago. I finally plucked up to the courage to go to therapy (private). I have severe childhood trauma - now that I am dealing with it, I realise how ill I am (I can no longer hide from it, like I used to). I am struggling with this process and really cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have now learned that all the anxiety I've had as a child/ teenager and adult, is all linked to this. I develop fears & phobias very easily and genuinely think I am going to die. The other anxiety I have is fear of being humiliated, as I often was, when I was younger. I feel so ashamed that I let my teeth get to this stage that I avoid anyone looking at my mouth. So, when I have things like tonsilitis, I have to battle with the Doctors to give me medication.
I haven't even let my daughter look. She's the only person who knows how this has affected me - dental bad dreams on a weekly basis; not being able to eat properly for over 10 years etc.; constant crying & anxiety attacks. I hardly have any photos with her, as I couldn't bare to be in them. If I tried to smile I would grimace, as I was trying to hide my teeth. My daughter happens to have almost exactly the same set of teeth as I did, so I'm anxious about the same thing happening to her. Luckily, she has found a great surgery in Glasgow.
This was the year I was going to pluck up the courage to see a dentist. Sadly, I don't trust the NHS and could obviously never afford private (I still can't, really - it's an insane amount of money!). I've managed to contact some surgeries, but then I read one/ two bad reviews and I'm back to square one. One Harley street surgery asked me to send a photo of my teeth - I just can't bring myself to do it.
My daughter was going to be my support network (my panic attacks are so severe that I get vertigo or end up in hospital with what feels like a heart attack). Sadly, we have fallen out. So, I need to try and do this on my own. But I genuinely feel like I am going to die and am struggling with the idea of leaving my daughter motherless.
I know this all sounds crazy. This is how my brain has always worked and it's so exhausting.
I am so grateful having found this website. I cried when reading the definitions of dental phobia etc - I related to so many of the points.
I need your help please, in any which way you can! It will all be so appreciated.
Many thanks for taking the time to read this - again, apologies for the length!
I hope you are all well.
I need help & need it fast. I'm currently sitting here with swollen gums and shaking as I type.
I have dental phobia and generally think I'm going to die if I'm operated on. But I desperately need to be operated on.
I'm going to try to tell you how my phobia came about, in a nutshell. Apologies if it ends up being a lengthy post - there are a lot of parts, but they all link up!
I was diagnosed with depression in my early teens (in the 90s). I was also constantly ill, sometimes with symptoms that resulted in having to call the paramedics. The Doctors couldn't explain it properly - I guess this is how I started being treated like I was a hypochondriac. So, when I thought I was pregnant (even though I was on the pill) my Dr insisted it was me being paranoid. I was stupidly trusting of her. Eventually I got a test and decided to go through with the pregnancy - a mother at 18 years old!
Before my daughter was born, the only thing I was proud of was my teeth. The only thing that didn't give me anxiety was going to the dentist! I had a perfect set of teeth - it was the only time I received compliments. When I was heavily pregnant (a time when your teeth are weakened, as I was told) my wisdom teeth decided to come through early. My dentist was delighted with their condition. When I asked when I was going to have them removed my dentist advised "You're not. As a dentist, it's absolute sacrilege to remove perfectly healthy teeth!".
This is where things rapidly go downhill (over the space of a few years). My teeth started moving, eventually crushing each other so that some fell out. I stopped going to that dentist but the next was no better. When I complained about a pain in one of my molars, the dentist said he couldn't see anything wrong - it must be a 'phantom pain' (?!?!?!) A few weeks later, a shard of tooth fell off. That was it - I couldn't trust dentists again!
During those 3 years, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for depression and post-natal depression. This was a horrific experience and obviously has compounded my lack of trust in all medics.
This leads me on to my mental condition. I was diagnosed with, what is now called, C-PTSD, around 5 years ago. I finally plucked up to the courage to go to therapy (private). I have severe childhood trauma - now that I am dealing with it, I realise how ill I am (I can no longer hide from it, like I used to). I am struggling with this process and really cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have now learned that all the anxiety I've had as a child/ teenager and adult, is all linked to this. I develop fears & phobias very easily and genuinely think I am going to die. The other anxiety I have is fear of being humiliated, as I often was, when I was younger. I feel so ashamed that I let my teeth get to this stage that I avoid anyone looking at my mouth. So, when I have things like tonsilitis, I have to battle with the Doctors to give me medication.
I haven't even let my daughter look. She's the only person who knows how this has affected me - dental bad dreams on a weekly basis; not being able to eat properly for over 10 years etc.; constant crying & anxiety attacks. I hardly have any photos with her, as I couldn't bare to be in them. If I tried to smile I would grimace, as I was trying to hide my teeth. My daughter happens to have almost exactly the same set of teeth as I did, so I'm anxious about the same thing happening to her. Luckily, she has found a great surgery in Glasgow.
This was the year I was going to pluck up the courage to see a dentist. Sadly, I don't trust the NHS and could obviously never afford private (I still can't, really - it's an insane amount of money!). I've managed to contact some surgeries, but then I read one/ two bad reviews and I'm back to square one. One Harley street surgery asked me to send a photo of my teeth - I just can't bring myself to do it.
My daughter was going to be my support network (my panic attacks are so severe that I get vertigo or end up in hospital with what feels like a heart attack). Sadly, we have fallen out. So, I need to try and do this on my own. But I genuinely feel like I am going to die and am struggling with the idea of leaving my daughter motherless.
I know this all sounds crazy. This is how my brain has always worked and it's so exhausting.
I am so grateful having found this website. I cried when reading the definitions of dental phobia etc - I related to so many of the points.
I need your help please, in any which way you can! It will all be so appreciated.
Many thanks for taking the time to read this - again, apologies for the length!