Don't mind me just getting myself all worked up over here...

[tigerstripedred]

apparently we have more in common than i realized...also a former although im not always sure former is correct...ed. Totally know what you you mean about running when you are heavier. you'll get back to your comfortable place soon. It takes awhile to get your system back in gear after surgery too...longer than most people realize.you'll bounce back though. *hugs*

 

[ScaredyCat22]

I hope you are healing well and pain free.

 

[tigerstripedred]

hey scaredy...i guess it's doing ok. still get a twinge or ache here and there. of course that brief twinge = panic that it is secretly rotting away bone because it was too easy of a recovery. I seriously find myself just waiting for the disaster to happen.
But for now pain isn't much of an issue. hope it stays that way through the next part

 

[ScaredyCat22]

I will keep my fingers crossed that there is no impending disaster for you. Having a quick and easy recovery is a good thing! try not to worry. Many many people have successful implants with no complications and it sounds like you are one of them

 

[tigerstripedred]

ugh i was just looking at it i swear the front side looks like it's swollen with a slightly white spot on the gums was it always like that? now im in tears at work.

 

[tigerstripedred]

so i lanced the spot. now there is a dark circle where i poked it on the gumline could it have been a a normal puffy spot from recent implant. i assume stuff came out but i never saw anything other than a little blood from poking at it. it never hurt. nothing tasted bad. could i have irritated it brushing or with food? is it really failing? is the bone dying? why wont the spot lighten to normal color already. help?

 

[tigerstripedred]

i seriously want to yank the white spot out. I wish I'd never gotten the implant. I'd rather have it removed than the courses of antibiotic they would try. i think they will assume it's a fistula. is it? i dunno if it's from the implant going stupid or me poking that spot with a needle. I wish it would just go away that was,9 days ago.

 

[tigerstripedred]

never going heal. it's just not. apparently bone death doesnt hurt. this white pinhead won't go away. i thought it was just a scab but it's not. i just want to take this out. i knew it was too good to be true

 

[tigerstripedred]

i really think i poked down to bone or the implant. tried peroxide to boil out the hard center but nothing. it's not changing and i cant leave it alone. i guess friday i'll be scheduling the removal of the implantnot willing to try massive antibiotics not willing to deal with ruining my body and the weight gain that goes on or the inability to run. i was a fool to think this implant thing would work at all. i knew it went too easily.

 

[Tink]

Ok, Tiger...first of all, pause. Stop. Take a step back.

Now take a few deep, slow breaths.


You are panicking. What is happening here, is catastrophising. It's OK, it's very common with anxiety, totally understandable and we all do it sometimes. You're not broken, you're just scared - and your head is on high alert, looking for threats.

Here, have a hug

...and keep breathing.



Now, I know this will be hard to hear and hard to believe, but:

You are not qualified to treat or diagnose this. You do not know what the problem actually is, only a dentist can tell you that. You do not know that the implant is failing. That is the anxiety talking.

Please stop poking at it, and stop putting stuff on it!

You need to go and see them so that they can tell you what is going on and give you the information you need, to allow you to make a properly informed decision. If you do this sooner rather than later, you will be able to get your head out of this horrible place. It's the kindest thing to do for yourself.

Always remember, they are on your side. They are not out to harm you, they are there to help you. They've done a lot to take on board your needs and adapt where they can, they certainly care.


Take a look back over this thread - there have been a few occasions where you were absolutely convinced that the worst thing was going to happen - but it didn't. What you can take from that, is that no matter how convinced you might be, it doesn't always turn out that way. This could well be another of those occasions.



Honestly, you've been doing so well. Really!

This is such a huge thing to go through, and it can take it's toll both physically and mentally. Be kind to yourself, seek help, and get the answers (from your dentist, not from the internet!!) Then you will know exactly what you are dealing with, and can make your decision based on what's really going on.



You will get through this.

 

[tigerstripedred]

thanks Tink. I have an appointment that was already scheduled for friday. my dentist only works fridays and was out of town last week. As far as info i have gotten it's from dentist or specialist that answer questions or have fact sheets posted.

At this point i feel like i just need to be prepared for it to be removed because the drug protocol to attempt to fix it is not something i will do. not even on the table for me.

i don't know I really do regret it right now. Thanks for the hugs...really found myself wishing for some of those the last few days. my cats are lovely but sometimes people hugs are needed.

 

[tigerstripedred]

sigh i keep looking at it and finding spots that look weird.

 

[tigerstripedred]

i don't want to go tomorrow i'm sure they are going to try and bully me into all these antibiotics i am not remotely open to ingesting.

 

[Tink]

Hey Tiger -

I know it's hard!

Try to remember that going to see them tomorrow is probably the best thing you could do for yourself! It will get you the answers you need.

Also remember that they can't make you take or do anything, you are ultimately in control of your decisions.

Honestly, uncertainty can be so much worse than knowing what you are dealing with, even if it is bad.


Have another hug to tide you over

...and check in tomorrow and let us know how you got on! Will be thinking of you x

Tink

 

[tigerstripedred]

thanks Tink...my chiropractor seems to have helped with some of the tightness and random things that had started away ...so some of it was muscular but still...seriously feels like i'm walking to my death and i may as well be...taking their drug regime would completely take away my life andthings that bring me joy for several months. and...i am pretty easily bullied by people with power.

 

[Tink]

So here's the thing. Your dentists have valuable skills and knowledge, that they are using to help you. What they don't have though, is authority. That is not how the professional relationship works.

I know it feels that way, and I know it can feel incredibly vulnerable to be a patient (that is why having a dentist you can trust is so important), and I know there are a lot of imbalances in the room, but they are not in a position of authority over you.


They can (and will) tell you exactly what the situation is, and what your options are. They will likely advise as to what they think the best course of action would be, based on their knowledge, experience, and skills. It is then up to you to make a decision, they do not get to choose for you. You can ask as many questions as you need to, raise all the concerns you have, and take whatever time you need to make your decision.



Try to remember that these people are on your side. They are not any kind of authority figure. They have the expertise that you need, but they're just people, same as you. They are there to help you, and to work with you to fix up the problems with your teeth.


They are there to help you. They are not trying to harm you. They are on your side. Let them help.



You can do this. You've managed before, you can do it again. Go and get answers

 

[tigerstripedred]

antibiotics destroy my body just as much as an infection. it's lose lose and they just won't understand the sort of misery they bring and how long it will last once i'm done with the courses

 

[Tink]

Hi Tiger -

Thinking of you!

Did you make it? What was the outcome? Hope you're OK x

 

[tigerstripedred]

well the white spot on the back was what i originally thought which is the top of the implant. there was nothing that looked infected on the xray. let's hope it wasn't since I was taking an herbal version since sunday. too eary to say for certian the bone Won't die since it would just be starting to grow but looks ok. She said not to worry about random aches or lthrobs as long as they stay random and infrequent. Said at 6wks that would be normal and didn't know why after care instructions from other dental places that dental implants and had stuff online made it out like all nothing should ever hurt after week 2 ever.

we made another office visit in sept because I told her to lol. I told her to name it panic attack check lol she did. so it should amuse whomever sees it. silver filling next to it when i go for my cleaning and uncovering the implant in october. there's nothing on xray under it so hopefully it's just replacing it. might need a stitch or 2 when she uncovers it boooo. but i'll be numb so why not do the filling.

 

[Tink]

Hey Tiger -

That's so good to hear! So glad your implant is OK!

Well done for going too, I saw how hard that was for you - but you made it Making that other appointment for September sounds wise.

Looking at your other posts, your dentist really does sound fab, you've found a good one there. She's right about how taking it out would cause you more anxiety too.



Can I make a suggestion? Here's something I did recently that I found helpful:

Like you, when I go to the dentist I generally end up feeling better as it puts me back in touch with reality...but then over time, anxiety starts to creep in again and all the worries get bigger and bigger and more and more convincing.

So recently, after I went to see my dentist and he put me back in touch with reality - he's very calm and very good at grounding me - I sat down and wrote out a list of what the reality looks like. I wrote out things that were relevant to my particular worries - like "I'm safe", "I can trust them", "he wants to help", "I don't have to be anybody's perfect patient"...etc.

So when the anxiety started to kick in and I felt things starting to slide, I could pull out the list and read it, ground myself again. It actually really helped - there's something more powerful about a list you wrote yourself

Does that make sense?

Would it be worth doing that just now, while you're feeling good about it and have a good grasp of the truth of your situation? Write down things like the fact your implant is doing fine, things the dentist said that you found helpful, how you went and nobody pushed you to take antibiotics, how she doesn't mind at all that you worry, all the ways in which they're going out of their way to help. Make sure you're writing down things that really feel true, while you have a handle on them, store up that feeling for later! It could really help ground you when the worries start to take over again...



Now go and take good care of yourself over the next few days, remember that kind of intense anxiety can be exhausting x

Tink