haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

[RichH]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

Hey Sean, and welcome to the forums.

Your story reads a lot like my own (uncanny in some places). I'm approaching 31 now, but started tackling my dental fears around 27 or 28 after 10+ years of avoiding dentists. It was also a horribly decayed, infected and abscessed molar which drove me in for that first appointment and since then it's been quite a journey to good dental health again.

Some of the best advice I received was to take things one step at a time. It sounds cliché, but really helps. You reached out to other people on this website who share a fear of all-things dentistry - step 1. You made an appointment to meet with a dentist - step 2. Don't think you need to tackle everything immediately as you've been putting it off for so long. It can take months, years even to get there and take positives wherever you can along the way.

Finding a dentist you're comfortable with is probably the most important thing right now. Chances are you'll be seeing a lot of him/her over the next little while and you definitely don't want to be forcing yourself into appointments on a regular basis to see someone you don't trust. It's tough for anyone, particularly us younger guys to admit we're terrified by something, but discussing your fears with the dentist can help enormously. I remember the first dentist I went to see, I made the mistake of putting on the brave face and she treated me as she would any regular patient which almost de-railed the whole train Seriously, for a few minute's "embarrassment" discussing your fears you will set up the whole scope of the relationship with your dentist for years to come. They learn about you and how to treat you best, and that can only be a good thing!

Hopefully your teeth aren't as bad as you think (they rarely are). Your dentist should focus on saving your natural teeth wherever possible - some of mine were in an awful state and I thought for sure would need to be extracted, but have since been saved by root canals or even simple fillings.

Oh and lastly - Google really skews reality when it comes to health info. As others have said, nobody ever writes a case study or medical paper when "all is well", so all we get to read from Google are the bad ones! Infected teeth are no joke and should definitely be treated promptly, but those cases where the infection causes real problems are thankfully rare.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

 

[avedic]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

I just got back.

I felt sick in the waiting room...almost threw up. Then...the hygienist I saw first tells me I have heavy wear and tear from grinding...which I wasn't even aware of. So, I thought...great, now I have one more thing to worry about. Then they took the xrays...my #1 fear....bone loss. I do have bad recession, so I worried about that. I also knew I had 3 cavities on 3 wisdom tooth molars going into this.

So...the dentist comes in and says right off the bat, "well, looks like we need to pull those." My stomach flipped and I barely stuttered out "what..?" She was confused by my reaction. You see....the hygenist had JUST been telling me I have wear from grinding on most of my teeth. Then, the very next thing the dentist says is "well, looks like we need to pull those." She meant the 3 wisdom teeth that were infected. I thought she meant all my teeth. Scariest moment of my life!

But...then she looks at the xray and says, I kid you not, "you have ginigivitis, but no bone loss at all." What?????! I've been drinking soft drinks like a fiend all my life. I had horrible food habits, my gums were receding, and I literally went for a month without brushing once. Actually, I did that often. Not now...not at all. But, the past 5 years Ive taken very very poor care of my teeth. Never again!!!

So she keeps checking. No bone loss. No cavities! Except the wisdom teeth that is. I was floored. Absolutely shocked. I promise you, I was 100% certain I'd have periodontal disease and multiple cavities. Now, I think my recession may be due to my, previously unaware of, grinding. And the "cavities" may well just be coffee stains.

Part of me feels so so stupid. I've let this fear RULE me for a decade now. I thought about it every single day...EVERY day. I didn't care about my future...because I knew I'd have 6 figure bills soon. I knew they'd have to pull out all my teeth. I knew I knew I knew.
I tried killing myself this past spring over this....and ended up on 72 hour mandatory suicide watch. It was THAT bad. Now, I feel almost underwhelmed.....all that tension and stress building for years.....for nothing?? Wow...

I feel like I have a second chance at life. I'm going to be a dental health freak from now on. And tell everyone I know...don't let it get too bad. Tackle ANY problem...now. Even if I had bad news...I still needed to address it immediately. Waiting just makes it worse. I know that sounds so overused...and it is. But, its true.

I almost feel I need to apologize. I worried my head off and posted so much in here....and I barely had any problems. I thank you all SO SO much for being kind and supportive. I won't just leave now. I know there are others going through real dental issues...and I wish you all the best.

But...I am here to say one thing: If you're biggest obstacle is fear...go ASAP. You won't regret it. The fear can't go away until you do. I wasted so many years...years that are gone. I should have done this ages ago. So, please....if you're afraid...I get it. But, your life is worth too much to live with that fear. Even if the news is bad, at least you can begin fixing it. Again, thank you all...and I wish you nothing but happiness.

 

[norwegianchick]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

SO good to hear! You made me smile!

You won't miss your wisdom teeth, and gingivitis is reversible with good hygiene and home care. I'm sure they already told you this.

See, we were right, trust the non-dentists at dentalfearcentral!

 

[SallyUK]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

Really great news, that must feel so so good Well done for facing the fear, expecting the worst and being pleasantly surprised.

 

[Root6dee6]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

Take some deep breaths through your nose and out your mouth... in that order.

I leave in an hour as well.... so we both should have something pos to say when we're done. Although I won't be posting so soon afterwards because i'm getting doped up.
Helps relieve the tension.

Bummed i'm awake earlier than I wanna be because I'm not allowed to have an coffee.... sedatives won't work if I do.

Good luck mate!! I'll be thinking of you.. you think of me!

EDIT: Well dang I missed all the other posts.... So ignore what I wrote above. LOL!!

That's just so fantastic!!!! I knew you were too young to have what I have.... SO proud of you!!

 

[avedic]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

Thank you everyone.

45andAfraid, you seem like a particularly good person...even though I don't know you, I'll be thinking of you today and hoping your own dental work goes well. Enjoy getting legal drugs and I hope everything goes smoothly!

 

[Root6dee6]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

Thank you everyone.

45andAfraid, you seem like a particularly good person...even though I don't know you, I'll be thinking of you today and hoping your own dental work goes well. Enjoy getting legal drugs and I hope everything goes smoothly!

I'll be wearing headphones playing Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb

 

[Snowflake67]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

avedic i did mail you...afraid and 45 you seem an amazing lady also and very brave
I also mailed you as well..well done avedic on the results on your appt @ dentist..so whats your nxt move ?...

 

[avedic]

Re: haven't been to dentist in decade. just got an abscess. im a nervous wreck

well done avedic on the results on your appt @ dentist..so whats your nxt move ?...

I'm going...to Disney World!

or not. I guess I'll get those wisdom teeth out and get a night guard for the grinding. Otherwise, its time I STOP thinking about teeth finally and get on with life. lol