Help - too scared to attend the Dentist

[KatyLouisexx]

Hi. I’m really worried about going to the Dentist.

I went about over a year or so ago after not going from when I was younger. The thing is im in my 20s now and I am suffering from terrible toothache so I need to face my fear but I am Petrified.

An experience during my childhood ruined me going to the dentist, I’ve pushed it out of my mind that much to try and stop my fear, all I can remember is crying and pushing my mum away in the dentists room.

My last experience of the dentist was so unhelpful, patronising and made my fear get even worse of going there which is why I haven’t been back since. This didn’t help as I made the decision to go after a few years on this occasion so this made me not want to go even more.

My teeth are awful, I know that at my age they shouldn’t be this way but I’m absolutely petrified of attending. Please, please help

 

[Dg6300]

I'm glad you posted here.

How are you feeling right now?

 

[Enarete]

Dear KatyLouise,

so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in right now. You have been traumatized heavily as a child and then even have made a negative experience at your last visit as you tried to tackle your fear, which made things even worse.

Sadly your anxiety is too high to visit a practice but you do need a help with that tooth so there is not much time to take things slowly at the moment. The quetsion for now is, how could you get taken care of it right now without getting traumatized more.

I don't know where you are from and what your possibilities are at the moment, but these are my suggestions:

1. Find a practice that is good with nervous patients. You want to make sure not to repeat your last experience and only enter a practice if you can be sure has a kind caring dentist. If you tell us where you are from, maybe someone has a suggestion where you could go. There is also a recommendation section here on the forum and in the worst case google. Make a list of dentists you feel could be ok.

2. If you can, task someone you trust to call the practices beforehand to explain your situation and find out if they really know how to work with very nervous patients. Let the person explain exactly what is going on and that you don't feel up to even enter a practice but have an emergency.
If you do not have anyone who can call for you, try to email them with some background information - like what you wrote here or, if you feel you can manage it, call by yourself.
As soon as you have a practice that can give you the reassurance you need to be sure they won't treat you like the last dentist, make an appointment.

3. Ensure that someone goes with you for the appointment. If the dentist is any rude or you feel any uncomfortable, this person can, as your advocate, make sure that you do not push yourself into something that you cannot cope with. I know that this part is very hard since you need the treatment, so you will have to push yourself through it, but it is important that you do it with a dentist that respects you emotional state too.
If a dentist is patronizing or any rude, you should leave and this other person can help you to make sure you are able to do it.

After the tooth got treated and you have no pain anymore, you can consider looking for a new dentist and take it slowly and at your pace.

Hope this was helpful, please let us know your thoughts and how you are doing.

All the best wishes and may you find a caring dentist to get free from the pain very soon.

 

[KatyLouisexx]

I'm glad you posted here.

How are you feeling right now?

Awful, can see a sleepless night ahead which is why I’ve logged back onto this. The pain is much worse when I don’t put pressure on it

 

[KatyLouisexx]

Dear KatyLouise,

so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in right now. You have been traumatized heavily as a child and then even have made a negative experience at your last visit as you tried to tackle your fear, which made things even worse.

Sadly your anxiety is too high to visit a practice but you do need a help with that tooth so there is not much time to take things slowly at the moment. The quetsion for now is, how could you get taken care of it right now without getting traumatized more.

I don't know where you are from and what your possibilities are at the moment, but these are my suggestions:

1. Find a practice that is good with nervous patients. You want to make sure not to repeat your last experience and only enter a practice if you can be sure has a kind caring dentist. If you tell us where you are from, maybe someone has a suggestion where you could go. There is also a recommendation section here on the forum and in the worst case google. Make a list of dentists you feel could be ok.

2. If you can, task someone you trust to call the practices beforehand to explain your situation and find out if they really know how to work with very nervous patients. Let the person explain exactly what is going on and that you don't feel up to even enter a practice but have an emergency.
If you do not have anyone who can call for you, try to email them with some background information - like what you wrote here or, if you feel you can manage it, call by yourself.
As soon as you have a practice that can give you the reassurance you need to be sure they won't treat you like the last dentist, make an appointment.

3. Ensure that someone goes with you for the appointment. If the dentist is any rude or you feel any uncomfortable, this person can, as your advocate, make sure that you do not push yourself into something that you cannot cope with. I know that this part is very hard since you need the treatment, so you will have to push yourself through it, but it is important that you do it with a dentist that respects you emotional state too.
If a dentist is patronizing or any rude, you should leave and this other person can help you to make sure you are able to do it.

After the tooth got treated and you have no pain anymore, you can consider looking for a new dentist and take it slowly and at your pace.

Hope this was helpful, please let us know your thoughts and how you are doing.

All the best wishes and may you find a caring dentist to get free from the pain very soon.

Thank you so much for all the advice you’ve given me, it really does help. As much as I know it needs sorting, the more terrified I am. I feel like I’ve just put up with the pain these last few days, hoping it’ll go away but it hasn’t. Hopefully I can pull myself out of this horrible mindset where I can just find a helpful practice , I need it

 

[Enarete]

Thank you so much for all the advice you’ve given me, it really does help. As much as I know it needs sorting, the more terrified I am. I feel like I’ve just put up with the pain these last few days, hoping it’ll go away but it hasn’t. Hopefully I can pull myself out of this horrible mindset where I can just find a helpful practice , I need it

Having dental fear and an emergency at the same time is just scary and I totally get your wish for it to go away.

Try to think of it this way: after you have taken care of the acute pain, you can take the time to find a practice you really like and take things slowly, one step at the time. You can be picky about practices and take your time with the chosing. You can find a practice that will be willing to change few emails with you to get to know you and to build a bit of trust before you visit them. It takes some effort to find a dentist you really trust but it really is the key for beating the dental fear.

For the tooth now it's just important to find some ok-enough-dentist so that you manage to go through the treatment...

Sending you some positive vibes and let us know how you are doing