How to tell your parents you need treatment?

[Bunbun]

My parents are scared of the dentist as well. I haven't been in 10 years to the dentist I need treatment.

Has anyone got any tips to tell my parents I need treatment? They are so edgy about the topic I dread to bring it up but I don't want to go alone.

 

[Tink]

Hi bunbun -

I see from your other thread that you're 21 - I wonder if your parents are the right people to support you here? If they struggle with it too they may not know how to support you with this particular thing, and sometimes the dynamic between parents & adult offspring can get weird where their own issues start to come into conflict with yours.

My parents are a bit iffy about the dentist too, I've had a couple of odd moments with my Mum about it (I'm 40! Don't think it ever really wears off...) She can't quite get her head round the way I've got to know my dentist in working through my phobia, and vaguely disapproves. As far as she's concerned I should shut up and do what I'm told, and not 'bother the dentist' with my worries. Meanwhile my Dad hadn't been in many many years until recently, I ended up having a wee chat with him to offer support & encouragement while Mum wasn't looking!

So it's not just you!


Is there a sympathetic friend you could approach for support instead? Maybe they might be willing to come with you? There's no need to worry about what people will think (really!), a good friend would not judge and many people understand what it's like to be afraid of the dentist.

The other thing to remember is that if you find a good dentist, once you get there, you won't be doing it alone - they will support you through it. They will have seen it all before and the good ones know how to help you out if you are struggling with it. The best support I've had when I'm actually there has come from the dentist himself, the nurses and the hygienist.

...and we can't come with you, but you can always find support on here, and plenty of people who will understand!

hugs x

Tink

 

[Thisishard]

Hello,

You are taking a great step by simply starting the conversation here. I concurr with the idea that your best support comes from dentists office staff. It took me over 6 months to find a dentist I could work with. Not to say that any of the dentists I visited where bad, just did not click. When I found my current dentist office, I just felt a certain level of empathy that really made me comfortable. My dentist specializes in dental anxiety treatment. I am sure you will find a dentists in your area, who you are comfortable with. Take your time, tell them how you are feeling. Ask how they can help. I personally suggest a dentist who is welling to use nitrous and a little halcyon(sp) on the first visit or two. Not much just a enough to take the edge off. You will need a friend drive you on the first day.

Tom

 

[Ellieclarke1989]

I would just sit down and say to them something along the lines of mum dad I want to go to the dentist and get my teeth checked out it's a big step for me and I hope you can support me where possible, I know that you have your own dental phobia but there is a site called dental phobia which is full of information about dental fear and full of support if we work together and take it one step at a time we can get through it maybe writing it down could help what about an aunt or uncle or friend helping