K
Kookiepbo
Junior member
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2021
- Messages
- 2
- Location
- Walhalla SC
I need help. Back in 2012 I became disabled and was forced to quit my teaching job. I subsequently plunged into a deep deep depression that I just recently came out of. during those years I (not consciously) neglected many many items of self-care related to myself. One of which was my dental hygiene. When I finally came back to myself enough to pay attention, I realized I’m in an advanced state of periodontal disease. Seriously, I have two teeth that are currently broken, I have many cracked teeth, my gums have receded so much you can see a lot of the root (I guess?), I have areas of infection under most of my top gums and and I have an abscess as I type this.
And it’s kind of crazy, because one of my biggest fears has been losing my teeth. I used to have nightmares about it constantly and I still do.
So now I’m for the past few months, I’ve been struggling with my shame and embarrassment and self loathing. I cannot bring myself to call a dentist. I know I need to it just keeps getting worse. My face is completely swollen and I am miserable. I know I’m gonna lose all my teeth, and that just makes me sick. I need help. I need someone to help me make the first phone call I’m afraid I’m going to have a health emergency if I don’t, but every time I try I panic and I can’t breathe and I can’t do it. So I just suffer; a part of me thinks I deserve it because I put myself in this position. As a matter fact my brother told me it is my fault when I asked to borrow money to get some work done that I knew I would need (he said no by the way).
And that’s part of the problem.
I do have dental insurance but it hardly pays anything and I am going to need extensive work done if I there is any possibility to save any teeth and I know I am never going to be able to afford that, hence having to have dentures and that makes me sick as well. Right now my biggest stumbling block is the intense mortifying shame I feel when I imagine anybody looking at my teeth I’ll literally can’t make myself go through that. I can’t do it. I’m sorry for this confusing rambling post. I’m in a panic right now because I was trying to look up dentist in my area and I can’t stop crying and I feel like this is hopeless the whole thing my life my teeth everything I’m sorry.
I’m 50 btw
And it’s kind of crazy, because one of my biggest fears has been losing my teeth. I used to have nightmares about it constantly and I still do.
So now I’m for the past few months, I’ve been struggling with my shame and embarrassment and self loathing. I cannot bring myself to call a dentist. I know I need to it just keeps getting worse. My face is completely swollen and I am miserable. I know I’m gonna lose all my teeth, and that just makes me sick. I need help. I need someone to help me make the first phone call I’m afraid I’m going to have a health emergency if I don’t, but every time I try I panic and I can’t breathe and I can’t do it. So I just suffer; a part of me thinks I deserve it because I put myself in this position. As a matter fact my brother told me it is my fault when I asked to borrow money to get some work done that I knew I would need (he said no by the way).
And that’s part of the problem.
I do have dental insurance but it hardly pays anything and I am going to need extensive work done if I there is any possibility to save any teeth and I know I am never going to be able to afford that, hence having to have dentures and that makes me sick as well. Right now my biggest stumbling block is the intense mortifying shame I feel when I imagine anybody looking at my teeth I’ll literally can’t make myself go through that. I can’t do it. I’m sorry for this confusing rambling post. I’m in a panic right now because I was trying to look up dentist in my area and I can’t stop crying and I feel like this is hopeless the whole thing my life my teeth everything I’m sorry.
I’m 50 btw