I made an appointment, and I need help.

[Sol]

Just catching up on your posts. Great job on getting the cleaning done and I wish you luck with getting the wisdom tooth out. The blood after the extraction is usually minimal and they should check that you are doing OK before letting you go home.

The part you mentioned about the hygienist telling you to have a candy bar reminded me of something. There was a break during an appointment I had awhile ago and somehow the assistant and I got to talking about a bakery. When the dentist came back he joined in the conversation by talking about a dessert he liked to make for himself and his kids. For a moment I thought, wait you are talking about eating sugar and feeding it to your kids?! I had to stop myself from laughing when I realized how nonsensical I was being in that moment.

 

[Enarete]

Just catching up on your posts. Great job on getting the cleaning done and I wish you luck with getting the wisdom tooth out. The blood after the extraction is usually minimal and they should check that you are doing OK before letting you go home.

The part you mentioned about the hygienist telling you to have a candy bar reminded me of something. There was a break during an appointment I had awhile ago and somehow the assistant and I got to talking about a bakery. When the dentist came back he joined in the conversation by talking about a dessert he liked to make for himself and his kids. For a moment I thought, wait you are talking about eating sugar and feeding it to your kids?! I had to stop myself from laughing when I realized how nonsensical I was being in that moment.

This made me laugh so much, I remember a similar chat with my dentist some time ago. Isn‘t it funny how stereotypes work. It‘s like people all believe that people working in dentistry never have dental problems, because they work in dentistry, right? By the way, I have never eaten more sweets than during my time in a dental practice, bisquits and chocolates were our main food and every time I decided to go on a diet there would be another nurse or a patient or a dentist bringing in cakes!

 

[krlovesherkids777]

My dentist once told me.. you can have as much cake and sweets as you'd like . whats important is you eat it all in one setting and not progress on it all day .. I used to bring him in sweets all the time, he said I was trying to make him gain weight .

Another dentist told me what Enarete said basically.. she said, we have a backroom filled with more sweets than you can imgaine.. as she laughed.

 

[thisisme]

I did a big thing today. I told my family I started going to the dentist. Well, kind of. I haven’t mentioned the extraction yet but said I got a cleaning and a few cavities.

It felt like the right time. My sister and mom were talking about their new hygienist that pokes so hard and they spit up blood. And how it’s so awful. Talk about all those reasons us phobics avoid going! Anywho, my sister said “and this is probably why you don’t go.” In that moment, I’m was like, “just to let you know, I did start going, and it’s great. And I don’t spit up blood.”

And that felt great!

My mom’s reaction was yay! and clapping... but not sarcastically. Like she was genuinely happy I was taking care of my dental health.

I’m not ready to talk about the wisdom tooth extraction because it still scares me, but I feel like it’s a start.

And now... they want to try out my place. My mom is like “well if he finds 10 cavities on me...” I’m trying to tell her he’s not a money maker at all and that he doesn’t need to because he’s honest so people keep coming back. THAT’S how they make money.

So I think she’s going to give it a go after she checks her insurance.

Look at me guys, I’m recommending dental places!

I felt like this was a big step today.

???

Side note: I told them I went because I lost a filling. I did not tell them I lost the filling 7 years ago. Seemed unnecessary. ??

 

[thisisme]

Things I’ve learned:

My sister avoided the dentist for years after she stopped going to our kid one.

My dad is still a pretty big phobic, shutting down the conversation. Oddly, this was comforting as he would occasionally mention how I should go and how it’s not that bad. It’s clear to me now that I don’t think he really ever believed that. It’s evident the new hygienist is making it even harder for him. I feel a little bad since he was the one that initiated the conversation by asking how my sister’s appt. went. Like he’s only comfortable talking about it on the surface, but not going very deep.

My mom reiterated “my” dentist would probably find a massive amount of cavities. I told her they take pictures. She’s like I know, xrays. And I’m like no, actual pictures with a tiny camera and they can show you if he finds any. “What does THAT cost?!” she said. I’m certain it’s included with preventative, but she’s not convinced. Such a skeptic. It kind of seems like she is still stuck in the age where the patient isn’t informed and doesn’t get to play a role in their health care.

My family does not know how big of a phobic I am. I merely just avoided in their eyes because I didn’t have a reason to go. There’s a lot more that I could tell them, but it’s a convo for another day. Part of me wants to get through the extraction without telling them. I don’t live with them, so I think I’d be able to hide it. I just need to know I can do it without any unnecessary comments or worry about it if that makes sense.

At least they know I am going now and that if I did decide to get my wisdom teeth pulled, it wouldn’t have just come out of nowhere.

I’m trying. Today felt like a win today and one step forward in conquering this phobia. Thanks all!

?

 

[kitkat]

Just catching up on your posts. Great job on getting the cleaning done and I wish you luck with getting the wisdom tooth out. The blood after the extraction is usually minimal and they should check that you are doing OK before letting you go home.

The part you mentioned about the hygienist telling you to have a candy bar reminded me of something. There was a break during an appointment I had awhile ago and somehow the assistant and I got to talking about a bakery. When the dentist came back he joined in the conversation by talking about a dessert he liked to make for himself and his kids. For a moment I thought, wait you are talking about eating sugar and feeding it to your kids?! I had to stop myself from laughing when I realized how nonsensical I was being in that moment.

My dentist is actually a big fan of Halloween and she always decorates her office (pretty sure this is a US-only holiday so for the non-US people, it’s where kids dress up in costumes and go door to door for candy) it sounds kinda strange now that I’m explaining it...but anyway, I was at her office just after Halloween once and she playfully snuck out into the waiting room with a bowl of candy from the back office and set it in the waiting room, she saw me and paused and then said “shh! You saw nothing...I didn’t put this here!” And then we both laughed and she told me she had to put it out there to stop herself from eating all of it and snuck back into the back office.

 

[kitkat]

I did a big thing today. I told my family I started going to the dentist. Well, kind of. I haven’t mentioned the extraction yet but said I got a cleaning and a few cavities.

It felt like the right time. My sister and mom were talking about their new hygienist that pokes so hard and they spit up blood. And how it’s so awful. Talk about all those reasons us phobics avoid going! Anywho, my sister said “and this is probably why you don’t go.” In that moment, I’m was like, “just to let you know, I did start going, and it’s great. And I don’t spit up blood.”

And that felt great!

My mom’s reaction was yay! and clapping... but not sarcastically. Like she was genuinely happy I was taking care of my dental health.

I’m not ready to talk about the wisdom tooth extraction because it still scares me, but I feel like it’s a start.

And now... they want to try out my place. My mom is like “well if he finds 10 cavities on me...” I’m trying to tell her he’s not a money maker at all and that he doesn’t need to because he’s honest so people keep coming back. THAT’S how they make money.

So I think she’s going to give it a go after she checks her insurance.

Look at me guys, I’m recommending dental places!

I felt like this was a big step today.

???

Side note: I told them I went because I lost a filling. I did not tell them I lost the filling 7 years ago. Seemed unnecessary. ??

That is so awesome that you were able to talk about the dentist with your family. It sounds like they see a dreadful hygienist currently. I have never told my family about my fears. I think my dad has dental fear to some degree. He never talked about it but would “forget” to go a lot. Eventually, he would get there and has actually had lots of dental work over the years but only after a lot of rescheduling. My mom talks about having a great dentist growing up and I don’t think she has any dental fear...the only time I’ve seen her get nervous was for an extraction which case she opted for sedation but she’s done everything else without a problem. I also don’t think my sister has dental fear. She used to be phobic about needles but she’s a nurse now and has pretty much gotten over that although she’s still not a fan and will opt for no local if it can be done without much pain (like a small/shallow cavity). I don’t think my family knows about the full extent of my fears. I’m not open about it with anyone outside of the forum. My mom knows I had anxiety about it at one point in my teen years (when she was forcing me to go) but I doubt she realizes the degree that I struggled with it and how long I struggled with it. When I tried to avoid going as a teen, I never admitted to my family that it was due to fear. I would usually fake an illness to try to get out of going which only works for so long. If I was confronted with going and couldn’t pull off an excuse, I would go and face it before admitting that I was scared because I was too embarrassed to do that. I would not let my mom back with me during appointments because I wasn’t entirely sure how I would be and didn’t want her to know how terrified I truly was. I’ve always been the “go it alone” type of person. She asked me a couple of times if I wanted her with me and I always told her no to stay in the waiting room. I was relieved when I was over 18 and could finally go completely by myself.

 

[thisisme]

It puts me at ease to know that that talking about this stuff with family isn’t easy. I think I was just surprised at their “not a big deal” response. Like the amount of years I’ve dealt with temp. filling, anxiety, and fear, and my sister was just like “oh who did you see?” and my mom was happy for me but not like OMG, it’s been more than a decade! Finally! Just weird. I’ve built it up in my head to be so much different, and as it turns out, going is just normal. To me, it was a huge deal. Probably because they don’t know the whole story. They might never. The important thing is I just keep going and face this fear.

This weekend has been weird for me. I felt happy. Relieved. The amount of effort it takes to hide something for 7 years really weighs on you. It also helps to know that in 1.5 months, I’ll no longer have the cavities I’ve been stuffing temp filling in for years. I honestly wish those appt. were before my wisdom tooth extraction, but I guess it all has to get done.

Of course, the left upper side of my gums feel sensitive when brushing. I’m not sure if an impacted wisdom tooth can cause that on the whole side or if the cavities that need to be filled can cause that. I want to floss there but I worry that might aggravate it more. Any suggestions? It seemed to have flared up after my cleaning but I recall it being on and off sensitive. I wanted to get a few more appointments under my belt before I braved a visit to an oral surgeon. The hygienist did mention there was a tiny bit of blood when she checked one spot because of build up. She didn’t seem concerned and says those gum numbers were low, so I’m sure I didn’t develop gingivitis in a week.

Well, 15 days until my decayed wisdom tooth comes out. I think I’ll tell my mom eventually. I just didn’t want to talk about this whole weekend!

 

[Sol]

Got a similar reaction when I told my mom about going to the dentist for the first time years ago. Not so much negative just more surprised that I was doing it. Haven't told my parents I'm working on changing to a new dentist yet since they use the same place I go now. If the experience is good at this new place I may mention it to them later since I aren't super happy with the practice either.

You should try flossing even if the area feels a bit sensitive now. It may feel like you are doing something wrong at first because your gums may be a bit inflamed and bleed but they will stop bleeding if you keep at it over time. There are tips about how to floss below.

How to prevent and stop gum disease from getting worse

Is flossing is pointless? How do you best look after your gums? Find out how to prevent gum disease or stop it from getting worse!

www.dentalfearcentral.org

 

[CollegeBound]

I first told my husband by writing it down and passing notes as if we were in detention. He seemed to get it. Few years later, (you can read my recent post about extractions), my MIL had to come over to my house to calm me down because I couldn't quit crying. That was the point at which she understood that I had more than apprehension. Personally, I refer to dental appointments as "Hell", because the word "dentist" makes me want to run away and vomit from anxiety. Don't force it. The conversation will come.

However, my husband and I do now both go into the city for a dentist that specializes in anxious patients, and patients with special needs ( Hubby has Autism). That has helped a little for him. And they have so far worked with me. I have another appointment next week, so we shall see.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

I also agree, telling family is not easy.. and well for me.. I just don't. They use it as a point of ridiculing me. so I just stopped. Will not discuss dental at all! You all are my dental family I discuss things with but sometimes we will run across where we can't avoid or they ask, I only discuss dental with my son .. who I can now set a good example for getting things done and getting past anxiety with a dentist who treats us both right and kindly!!

 

[thisisme]

I’m thinking of starting a journal on here, as this thread is no longer about my first appointment. Plus, I just like being able to ramble on about what is going on. I really cannot wait until Oct. 15. All of my fillings will be filled and my 1 wisdom tooth extraction done, and 16 years of worry down the drain.

Thanks so much for the support. I would have never gotten this far. I already have been to the dentist twice in a month! That’s crazy when you don’t go for 16 years. I am definitely not worried about going there. More so worried about tasting blood and any uncomfort after the procedures. For the most part, I am really comfortable at the office and that is huge for me.

If I start a journal, I’ll post the link in here.

 

[kitkat]

I’m thinking of starting a journal on here, as this thread is no longer about my first appointment. Plus, I just like being able to ramble on about what is going on. I really cannot wait until Oct. 15. All of my fillings will be filled and my 1 wisdom tooth extraction done, and 16 years of worry down the drain.

Thanks so much for the support. I would have never gotten this far. I already have been to the dentist twice in a month! That’s crazy when you don’t go for 16 years. I am definitely not worried about going there. More so worried about tasting blood and any uncomfort after the procedures. For the most part, I am really comfortable at the office and that is huge for me.

If I start a journal, I’ll post the link in here.

I say do it! It is nice to be able to go back and read your old posts to see how far you have come later on and it will be much easier to find those posts if they are in a journal.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

I agree you should I did too after reading so many and being encouraged.. Your journey will be a great encouragement to not only others but to look back on should you ever go through extra stressful times to see all you've overcome..

 

[CollegeBound]

Yes to the journal! It is nice to go back and re-read old posts to encourage yourself when you are apprehensive again.

I do that. I get nervous and read my older posts and remember that I lived through those, I guess I shall live through this one too.

 

[thisisme]

Thank you everyone! Journal has been started! I’m so excited to beginning my dental journey. You can read the journal here:

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/thisismyjournal-thisisme.27524/

 

[OkDani]

Congratulations! I made an appointment for tomorrow as well. I'm scared to death but I can't live with this awful pain. I know he'll pull some out. I guess we will be brave together. Best of luck to you.

Awww thanks & good luck to you too! I need four pulled

 

[thisisme]

Awww thanks & good luck to you too! I need four pulled

I had one pulled, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. No pain... just so tugging. Mine came out in less than 3 minutes. Took some Ibuprofen for 2 days after, but it never hurt too bad. Some discomfort but that’s it.

You got this! I’m so proud of you.