I made an appointment, and I need help.

[Enarete]

I was going to stay away, but I have to say I am in love with my new filling. I keep feeling it to make sure it’s still there. I would lose the temp filling left and right and think it was my tooth breaking apart. Basically, eating was always terrifying. I have not chewed on that side in like six months and have chewed carefully for another 7 years. And what? It’s just fixed now?! WHAT?! ?

I stepped into a cold pool earlier and used to feel a slight pain in that tooth. I just figure nerves are weird like that and used to put my tongue there to help. Anywho, today? Cold water and nothing. NOTHING. Guys, NOTHING. Are dentists gods?! I lost 7 years of my life (the first 9 years before that I didn’t go don’t count because I didn’t have any problems and could care less about going, haha). I had seven years of misery for 15 minutes. I feel crazy now. I’m writing this because I’ll be freaking out in a few weeks and need to remind myself of the dental miracle. Can he do this to other teeth that bother me? Will I never have to use temporary filling again?!

If you are a lurker and trying to find courage to go, I hope my story (so far) helps you. It is so hard making an appt. It took me seven years after I first thought about, so I’m not exactly a shining example. You can do it when you’re ready. And you’ll know when you’re ready, even if it takes seven years of thinking about it. Awhile ago, I read something on here that said “once you make up your mind to go, it can be weeks, months, years, or decades.” That’s the truest thing I’ve ever read.

I love this site. You guys are the only people who understand what I’m going through and also the only people I have told about my appt. I’ve said it before but I really do love you all. Thank you for being here for me.

Delighted to read you are so happy with your new fillings. People often say things like 'I wished I would have done it earlier,' but sometimes plucking that courage just takes time and it's a part of the process. Look forward to reading about you falling in love with the future fillings as well:

 

[thisisme]

So, three weeks from tomorrow is my “hygiene exam.” Well, that’s what it says on my appointment card. We will see.

Since I already know the office and dentist are nice, here are the things I’m worried about:

• Gums bleeding during cleaning (even though they don’t when I brush)
• Someone in my mouth counting teeth and making notes about them (I know some are not good)
• Any sort of lecture, although I’m optimistic because I didn’t get any from the assistant or dentist
• Finding else what else is wrong
  
  • My assessment: 3 deeper fillings, 2 fillings to be redone, give or take 2-3 small cavities, and a small chip on front tooth
  • My fear: Root canals, gum problems, and more than 6-7 cavities
• Being told wisdom teeth need to come out, especially if I do want braces down the line
• The proddy thing

I’m not exactly dreading it. The hardest part was walking through the door the first time, and I will be relieved to have the three teeth that feel like they have cavities taken care of. I hate having to miss work time, though, and know any problems won’t be taken care of that day, so that really sucks. Honestly it’s not so much the dental work that scares me, it’s the finding out everything that is wrong and have to strategically take time off of work, so nobody knows I’ve avoided it for 16 years, ha.

I really wish that I could just make an appointment to fix the problems I know of one by one. That would be much less overwhelming than a “hygiene exam.” They are super nice there, though, and it doesn’t smell like a dentist office, so my fear is nowhere near where it was. It’s just getting that list of everything that is wrong that stresses me out.

 

[Sol]

Gums bleeding during cleaning (even though they don’t when I brush)

Bleeding should be minimal to none but it can happen. Depends on the health of your gums.

Someone in my mouth counting teeth and making notes about them (I know some are not good)

Let the dentist or hygienist know that its uncomfortable for you to hear them calling out numbers. If you aren't ready to hear the treatment plan or diagnosis its also OK to ask them to break it gently or maybe hold off doing it til later.

Any sort of lecture, although I’m optimistic because I didn’t get any from the assistant or dentist

Since you had a good experience last time I would hope this would not be the case. They may give you some general tips about caring for your teeth though.

The proddy thing

This one is hard for me as well. Let them know this bothers you so they can offer some reassurance.

As far as timing it all, you should be able to space future appointments out at a pace that works for you. If you just need fillings for example, the appointments don't need to be back to back since decay happens slowly in teeth.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

This is me,

Just want to say , you are doing such an amazing job with this.. You are so self aware and doing so well ! Writing it out and processing all this, knowing your triggers and the positives in your progression.. I know for me the hygenist was always hard. and I felt more shame and anticipation in a sense expecting a big lecture. The last few hygenists I"ve had were really kind and gentle thankfully! and one was absolutely a saint!! hope yours is too!!!

 

[thisisme]

This is me,

Just want to say , you are doing such an amazing job with this.. You are so self aware and doing so well ! Writing it out and processing all this, knowing your triggers and the positives in your progression.. I know for me the hygenist was always hard. and I felt more shame and anticipation in a sense expecting a big lecture. The last few hygenists I"ve had were really kind and gentle thankfully! and one was absolutely a saint!! hope yours is too!!!

Aw, thank you krlovesherkids777. I am trying so hard. I must have virtually walked through the office door like 20 times on Google and now, I do it and navigate into the room I was in last time. And, truthfully, it wasn’t that bad at all. The place truly revolutionized dentist’s offices without pictures of teeth everywhere. I’m pretty sure they just had nature pictures and mirrors. I’m not scared like I was before last time. I’m overwhelmed by it. I did the things most traumatizing last time... sitting it the chair, drilling in my mouth, first time shot... so this -should- be easy. There’s just this mental block of... what else is wrong...how bad are my current problems... and will anyone say anything offensive... will the hygienist be nice? There are some reviews that mention her name and say she is kind and gentle with people saying “they haven’t been in awhile,” so that is reassuring. It’s just so weird that this is all happening because I swore off the dentist for life.

And although I’m glad I didn’t actually do that, I’m still very overwhelmed about what the next few weeks/months have in store for me. I don’t even want to think about telling my family until I can process everything.

But I do very much want my three other teeth back to normal. And, even though it’s just a small chip on my front tooth (I noticed it by zooming in on a pic), it would be cool to have that treated. The cleaning, though...and the talking... and the knowing.

One of my favorite quotes says “in the dark, there may be fear... but there is also hope.” Three weeks from today, I will no longer be in the dark. I just hope I still have hope.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

This is me, reading this I think of a quote I recently saw on Instagram.. something like

"The way you face the struggles you are going through today will become a survival guide for someone else tomorrow."..

So I maybe be slighty off on the wording but this reminds me of you and so many of us here on DFC.. You are already a great testimony to courage and will build on that even more.

 

[FearfulInMA]

The not knowing can be really tough! Even though there is hope in the not knowing, there is also fear. It reminds me of Schrodinger’s Cat.

Lots has already been said, but I think it’s important to remember that you’re well on your way to building trust with the dentist. Together, the 2 of you will get through whatever work needs to be done. Even if some of the work requires a specialist (not to say it will), your dentist will always be the ‘home base’ that you can return to for support, confidence, and courage.

Hygienist appointments were always the worst for me until I finally had a hygienist who I could trust. Then, it just became like visiting and old friend every 6 months. She’s moving out of state in a couple of weeks and I’m devastated, but really hope the next person is at least tolerable.

Hang in there!!

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Fearful.. aghh. sorry to hear of your hygenist moving.. She sounds so great of all the times you've spoke of her.. a good kind gentle hygenist is a treasure for sure .. and then one you have built so much trust with.. well.. I really hope the new one is kind and worthy of trust too over time.. I know I finally found a good one too at the first office my dentist was at when I started DFC.. she is really a rare find.. then my dentist switched offices and I didn't go back as its kind of awkward to go there since I followed my dentist to his new clinic. No one compares to her.. but I love my new dentist sooo. at least she gave me hope for sure and I'd go back to her in a second.

 

[thisisme]

I have so glad I’m not alone in being worried about the hygienist. I really don’t even remember that part as a kid, so I think that’s what scares me. I think the root of my fears is that I’m used to being a perfectionist and my teeth aren’t perfect. I know this. However, not going has allowed me to deny this. It’s also one of the reasons I’ve stopped looking at them. What you don’t see can’t hurt you, right? It seems really stupid but now, I’m going to have people tell me everything that is wrong. And that kind of hurts. And I know what’s important is that I get them healthy but between now and then is rough. It’s like I’m coming to terms with not being perfect, and that’s hard enough. Throw in my fear of people towering over me, losing control, and my bad past experiences, and I’m struggling.

That being said, I’m not exactly dreading going. There’s a little excitement built in there too. I’m weird. My fear is very much different than my first appointment where I was afraid of walking through the door and sitting in the chair. Now, I’m afraid of facing the reality of what I’ve done and moving forward. I’m certain nothing in my mouth is unrepairable, and my heart breaks when I read other stories on here. However, it’s facing those repairs and getting that smile I’ve always dreamed about... and eventually talking to my family if I need a ride to remove wisdom teeth or if I get back braces (that would be the goal!) and have a lisp as a result. Haha. I really should just take it one step at a time, but it’s overwhelming and all these thoughts just flood my mind.

 

[Mugz]

Hi Thisisme,
I'm so impressed with how well you've navigated your courageous return to dentistry! I have to say, starting small with one filling and one successful visit was a brilliant beginning! Well done!

I just wanted to add that if you're bothered by hearing the hygienist call numbers out (Like many of us) they can just write them. Takes a little longer because they stop to write vs calling it to someone else but it can be done. Most are very happy to do this if it makes you more comfortable so don't hesitate to ask.

Sending good thoughts your way for the next appointment!

 

[thisisme]

Hi Thisisme,
I'm so impressed with how well you've navigated your courageous return to dentistry! I have to say, starting small with one filling and one successful visit was a brilliant beginning! Well done!

I just wanted to add that if you're bothered by hearing the hygienist call numbers out (Like many of us) they can just write them. Takes a little longer because they stop to write vs calling it to someone else but it can be done. Most are very happy to do this if it makes you more comfortable so don't hesitate to ask.

Sending good thoughts your way for the next appointment!

Mugz,
I definitely needed to hear this. Thank you. I am quite surprise how easy that appointment was. How after 16 years that I sat in the chair and didn’t completely bawl my eyes out from fear. I guess it just felt different the moment I walked through the door and how I’m so glad that I’m not totally in freak out mode (yet!) with my next appt. two weeks away. They were just so nice there. I keep reading reviews (new ones are pretty much added daily because they send you links to review after your appointment pretty much knowing how great they are, haha) and someone wrote how they have not been in awhile, but they were so kind, professional, and courteous. That there was no judging but helped draw up a treatment plan to move forward. Stuff like that helps a ton. I got a good vibe there. Thanks for the tip about seeing if she can write it down. I think I’m going to ask that. I’m terrified that things are really bad. I’ve been ignoring (at least) three cavities for years, so I’m worried they’ll all need root canals by now. The only good thing is that yes, they do bother me with sweet stuff (one in particular [it’s starting to drive me crazy!]), but I’m still eating all other food... like steak!... with no problem. So, I am hoping for the best. I hope they aren’t too deep, but even if they are, I’m trying to remember that the dentist is so kind and gentle and I would trust him to pretty much do whatever he needed on my teeth. In a strange way, I look forward to going... 1.) to end my misery and enjoy a candy bar every once in awhile without needing to brush my teeth a second after to feel better and 2.) everyone seemed more pleasant than people at work and home. ?

 

[thisisme]

I’m about 8.5 days away from my appt. I’m not horribly nervous. If anything, I’m starting to notice more issues in my mouth but am not stressing out about them because I know I can get them taken care of. I’ve had a few dental dreams, but they haven’t been bad. On the review page for my dentist, they respond to all posts. On an anxious person review (someone who hasn’t been there for awhile), they commented that they are a judge-free zone and want to do whatever they can for you. Reviews like that really take away my embarrassment fear. And having my first procedure last time takes away my dental work fear. I just need to get over the “how bad is it” fear.

One thing I brought up in a private message that I wanted to bring up here is:

I want to feel good about myself without others knowing how bad I feel about myself.

Is that a normal feeling? I have always been bubbly and outgoing and have never told anyone that I hate my teeth. I have started to hate them about a decade ago. When I was younger, I used to think they were cute and unique. However, as more people had them straightened, I started to feel more self conscious about mine. I just have never told anyone but you guys.

Do you think it’s possible I’ll be able eventually feel good about myself without letting others know how badly I felt?

 

[Dg6300]

I don't have any advice, but I do send encouragement. Keep it up.

 

[Enarete]

Is that a normal feeling? I have always been bubbly and outgoing and have never told anyone that I hate my teeth. I have started to hate them about a decade ago. When I was younger, I used to think they were cute and unique. However, as more people had them straightened, I started to feel more self conscious about mine. I just have never told anyone but you guys.

Do you think it’s possible I’ll be able eventually feel good about myself without letting others know how badly I felt?

Thank you for sharing this with us, I know it takes a lot of trust to. And yes, it is possible for you to feel good about yourself without letting others know how badly you felt, however you may, somewhere in the future whis to share how you felt in order to encourage others who are feeling like that now.

 

[thisisme]

Thank you for sharing this with us, I know it takes a lot of trust to. And yes, it is possible for you to feel good about yourself without letting others know how badly you felt, however you may, somewhere in the future whis to share how you felt in order to encourage others who are feeling like that now.

I have always felt more comfortable sharing with strangers. I guess it is easy to hide behind a username, but doing so has allowed me to confront my fears and receive support, so I am very grateful for that. I could never ask for support in real life. I rarely do with anything, but especially not with this. I feel like nobody would understand, and if I did eventually start sharing it, I would be judged for not going to the dentist or waiting so long.

But maybe one day, I’ll be ready. Maybe there are more people like me outside of the forum and in my every day life. It certainly doesn’t feel like it, but maybe they are just as good at hiding it as me.

T minus 3.5 days until doomsday for me. I really should be more nervous, but I am relatively calm right now. As bad as it may be, I know that it’s not unrepairable. My gums seem healthy and I’m able to eat what I want, so I tell myself that going now is best. Cavities, root canals, crowns, bonding to fix my chip, etc., I can do it (maybe). If I need extractions, it’ll most likely just be my wisdom teeth... and then braces! I’ve saved up money to get back/lingual braces, so that would be a dream... a very uncomfortable dream but one that would lead to the smile I’ve always wanted! But, okay, I know. Start small. Haha.

 

[BoxerMom]

I have always felt more comfortable sharing with strangers. I guess it is easy to hide behind a username, but doing so has allowed me to confront my fears and receive support, so I am very grateful for that. I could never ask for support in real life. I rarely do with anything, but especially not with this. I feel like nobody would understand, and if I did eventually start sharing it, I would be judged for not going to the dentist or waiting so long.

But maybe one day, I’ll be ready. Maybe there are more people like me outside of the forum and in my every day life. It certainly doesn’t feel like it, but maybe they are just as good at hiding it as me.

First of all, unfortunately some people will be judgmental, but not everyone. I was the same way, so ashamed and never discussed my issues with anyone. But I started to talk to people and no one, not one single person has made me feel as bad as I can make myself feel. I’ve suffered so long and made myself miserable. I finally had enough. So I started talking, and I found this site. The shame has lessened, but it’s still there. Everyone here has been wonderful. Secondly, you are not alone, and you are not alone in how you’re feeling. We all get good at hiding things we don’t or can’t deal with. Posting on here was a huge step for me, and a lot of other people I’m sure.

 

[thisisme]

So tomorrow is my cleaning and find out about all my issues appointment. I know I have cavities (I’m getting annoyed using Temparin Max in the small holes) and wish they could just use the appt. to fix my problems and not find more. But it is what it is.

I hope I survive. It’s not until the evening.

Thanks for all the support, everyone. It means a lot.

 

[ReginaPhalange]

So tomorrow is my cleaning and find out about all my issues appointment. I know I have cavities (I’m getting annoyed using Temparin Max in the small holes) and wish they could just use the appt. to fix my problems and not find more. But it is what it is.

I hope I survive. It’s not until the evening.

Thanks for all the support, everyone. It means a lot.

I just read through your thread and felt like I was reading my own story, so many similarities, I can relate to everything you said. Although for me it had been even longer and I needed root canals etc. It's only been a few months since I got it done and it wasn't till looking back at my own posts here that I remembered what it took and how far I've come. Any time I need courage for anything else in life I should just come back here and remind myself.

I hope your cleaning goes well, I have it next week. Well done on how far you have come, keep it up. The worst is over!

 

[frostgirl]

You can do this, thisisme! We're all here for you.

Good luck, I have my fingers crossed for you

 

[thisisme]

You guys! I did it!!!!!!!

They are very nice and understanding. Although I took a few years off my last visit and rounded it to a ‘decade’ as that would get the point across, there was no judging. They were just so glad that I came in and the hygienist even said you got to start somewhere and stuffed a “goodie” bag in my purse.

Xrays were fine. Nice technology.

The cleaning was tolerable. She said that she can tell I definitely brush but there was a few areas of build up. She was using the ultrasonic thing until all of a sudden, I got a pain. She was so kind and switched to hand tool... pain again. She stopped immediately. At this point it was almost comedic because she tried numbing gel... that caused pain, so she tried to rinse it out. Pain. It wasn’t the worst pain in my world, but it was the worst of this appointment. She was very understanding and apologetic, though. It is a wisdom tooth with a bad cavity that wraps around. She decided not to touch it. The rest of the cleaning was uneventful, with her checking in quite often. She would ask ”is it okay,” which I liked better than “are you okay.” I’m not sure why.

My next cleaning is scheduled for March 4.

Here’s the part I was dreading... what was wrong with my teeth. Well, it’s not horrible, he did refer me to an oral surgeon to get all four wisdom teeth out. I froze up immediately and said I don’t know if I can do that. It took me a decade to walk through these doors, but I do know I need to get at least the one erupted and decayed out before my next cleaning because it’s too sensitive. He was understand and looked at it again. He says because it’s an upper one, he can do the extraction for me until I build up the courage to make an appointment to get the other three out. He definitely cannot touch the bottom one or the impacted one, but will take care of the one bothering me. What a standup guy!

And then, 6 cavities (2 of which are being replaced because they are leaking).

That is it.

Three appointments.
Sept. 17 - 1 wisdom tooth extraction - this scares me the most
Sept. 30 - Cavities part 1
Oct. 14 - Cavities part 2

Then, after 16 years of avoidance, I am back up to date (besides the referral, which he said the most important one is the one he’s taking out) and can consider braces (which btw, they didn’t mention at all which I thought was very nice of them to not point out the extreme obvious).

Anywho, guys, I did it! Thank you for the support. I told my hygienist and dentist about you guys and the forum.

P.S. My total for all of the above is $130. That it is. Apparently, my dental insurance rocks!

P.S.S. My gums are in good condition. She said there was one tiny bit of blood from some build up, but I didn’t even notice. No blood on my bib! Score!

Overall, I’m in a pretty good mood!