I Need An Extraction But I'm Too Scared To Do It

[Catie McBain]

@mom2eight

I kinda thought I was the only one who went through that, too. See, that's why I'm glad I joined this forum. Because it makes me realize that it's okay to be afraid and that there are other people out there who experience the same thing.

I think for me my problem is just being so overwhelmed with fright that all my muscles seize up on me. I go into mental breakdown stage, I can't think or hear what other people around me are saying, I can't even move. Then I usually start hyperventilating when I finally do breathe because I'm still panicking and by then it's like I'm starved of oxygen. It's a horrible process.

I've thought about it to try and understand why I feel like that. I'm the same in that I feel trapped, I don't like the attention being on me because I have social anxiety, and I really don't like being touched. People touching me just freaks me out for some reason.

It's also because I'm afraid of being hurt, and that they will force treatment on me against my will. I'm scared of medical environments because I have been physically restrained for medical things in the past, and my brain has just decided that when they make up their mind that I need treatment, they will make me get it whether I want it or not, and it will hurt, and they won't care.

I know that probably isn't going to happen, but my brain says it will and makes me freak out anyway. And being at the dentist is just scary in general. No matter what I'm just scared of the procedure, and the recovery, and the possibility that I could die because that weighs heavily on my mind so yeah. I'm a mess.

 

[Sweetleef]

Hi Catie. 2 years passed but im new and read your journey. I hope things have gotten better. I on a dental journey too and I have extreme Dental PTSD so I totally understand. I recently had several extractions while sedated on 2 separate visits. The first appt I was terrified for weeks before the visit, sick to my stomach. The urgeon & his asst were so kind & understanding of my fears, I felt ok and drifted off to sleep, the procedure was over before I knew it, quick, no pain after healed great and I felt strong. Im conquering my fear slowly. Visit 2 for my 3 whizzies pulled, I felt stronger than the first time but scared not terrified, same dental place but different surgeon that was also understanding, poof right to sleep, woke me up when it was over, told me he also had to remove the 2 molars next to the top whizzies (5 teeth at once) I expected bruising, swelling, pain, I had none. I felt great and healed fine and felt even stronger than before. Conquering my fear! Now im getting ready for periodontal work to be done, different dental office, I will be asleep but im terrified, anxiety panic tears stomach. Not sure what happened to my fear conquering lol but I am going to do this procedure, I will conquer my fear. I no longer want my PTSD to get in my fkn way of getting a healthier mouth. The extractions while sedated was worth the money.

My point.. you arent alone, we are all here with you.

There are ALOT of positive dental journeys on this forum, Ive added mine and I hope one day you will add yours.

We are bigger than our fears ❤?

peace & love

 

[Catie McBain]

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the support I've received during my time here. It makes me feel better, knowing that I'm not the only one who panics over these things. Taking a moment to process everything, of course I can't possibly be the only one. That's just silly. But sometimes you can get so caught up in how you feel that it can make you feel like you're the only one.

But aside from all that, it's been a while and so I thought I'd leave an update.

In terms of my fear and anxiety, it hasn't gotten better. Trying to force myself to get treatment six months ago made my anxiety worse. I've moved on to absolute avoidance. I can't move forward at this point. So I've gone back to doing things the way I've done for almost ten years now, just learning to live with it and using home remedies when necessary.

 

[Sweetleef]

Hi, I understand. My fear is equal to yours but I did go for extractions, I had 2 visits and went under anesthesia, I felt no pain, the oral surgeon & his asst were kind & understanding to my fears. No pain after and healed great. 4 teeth first visit, 3 wisdom teeth & 2 molars. I was terrified when I went but felt like a warrior when I got thru it. Look online for dentists that mention dealing with patients like us. If you need some type of work done consider anesthesia to help you thru it. Dont allow yourself to suffer.

Nope youre not alone, we are all in this together

 

[Catie McBain]

Yeah, but that's the problem. I know I need inhaled general anesthesia in a hospital setting, but the majority of places don't do that anymore. When I was actively trying to do something about this, I did numerous web searches, I called more than a dozen places in several different towns. The only two dental offices I found who said they use inhaled general anesthesia lied to my face, because when I made the appointment and got there, they turned around and said no, they don't do that at all. Even though I specifically asked for it over the phone before making the appointment and they told me yes, they have that available.

Another problem is that I'm terrified of hospitals. If I managed to find a place that does inhaled general anesthesia in a hospital, I will have a major panic attack and I won't even be able to spend five minutes in there. I ran screaming from the emergency room last year when a friend of mine tried to take me to get treatment. I made it halfway across the parking lot then collapsed and starting crying hysterically while I was lying there on the ground. That's how bad this is. I am physically incapable of getting treatment for this.

Maybe this sounds weird, but the more kind, caring and gentle a dentist is the more frightened of them I become. It makes me feel like I'm going to be attacked at any moment and that they're trying to lull me into a false sense of security. It only makes me more afraid. It makes me want to run and escape, or sometimes I get so scared I vomit right there in front of them.

I've also managed to convince myself that the anesthesia from the procedure will probably kill me, due to having a past history of sensitivity to medications and anesthesia that runs in my family, and that if I survive the pain during the recovery process will be so horrible I'll want to die. In the back of my mind I know it might not be like that, but I'm too afraid to take any chances. I can't even take pain medication because it has negative side effects that affect my heart and breathing.

But I'm not suffering. I've barely had any pain in my broken wisdom teeth for months. No infections, no real problems. I treat pain with cloves, I eat raw garlic and use salt/baking soda rinses, and I'm doing alright. I really don't mind living like this. I've accepted it and I'm okay with it.

 

[Enarete]

Hi Catie,

I just read this and went over your whole journal to remember the steps of your journey. There is a lot on my mind reading your posts and I will get to it all, but first, let me tell you the one thing that is on my mind the most: I believe you have been, for a long time, focusing on a consequence, treating it as if it was the cause and that‘s what made things worse. What I mean by that: your approach has been „I need inhalation general anesthesia because I have anxiety otherwise“, but to me it looks like your need for general anesthesia (and your needle phobia) is more a result of your anxiety rather than its cause. Given the horrid things you have been through, how could you ever feel comfortable being in those situations that scare you? Anxiety and avoidance is the only logical way how human mind can cope with such experiences. And it seems like this anxiety is not limited to your wisdom teeth, but to many other areas of your life.

Reading about your experience, even with inhaled general anesthesia, I couldn‘t imagine, how you could cope with a treatment. It sounds like getting calls from a dental practice makes you throw up, like your experience with anxiety is so crippling that you lose control over yourself and react in very strong ways and become entirely helpless, like you can‘t cope with not having control very well and like it is very difficult to trust professionals - you expect them to take advantage, lie to you or betray you. It sounds like even in your home, where there is no threat, you still have a lot of anxiety and things that keep you from living like you would like to or could. I can‘t get rid of the feeling that this all ads on the negative experiences, because every slight thing that doesn‘t work according to the plan has the power to knock you over completely. That is because these things are so huge and so scary and because the anxiety it can provoke in you is so unbearable that you would go great lengths to avoid it.

This is so unfortunate, because you have been so brave and courageous and pushing yourself so diligently, really wanting to tackle this, but you always meet a roadblock and end up feeling like there is no hope. But in reality, maybe all you need is a change in strategy.

I hate suggesting counseling to anyone. It is a scary thing, not too easy, requires trust and for many people there is a sense of hesitance or even embarrassment around that. But I would hate if your courage and willingness to change your situation would be wasted on strategies that possibly cannot work. You are trying to push yourself and to do everything on your own. All the energy, the throwing up, crying, just trying to deal with yourself - just to get disappointed over and over again. This doesn‘t have to be this way. In one of your earlier posts, you mentioned a concern that a mental health professional may help you get rid of your fear of needless and you couldn‘t imagine being anywhere near them. I do not think it would be any wise to jump into that topic straight away with a counselor. You don‘t have to at all. Instead, how about to get some input on how to deal with stress in a better way? To learn to understand yourself better and to learn how to deal with any emotions that could become overwhelming? To become able to sleep? To feel less isolated? To feel more safe? Just having someone you can talk to about whatever comes to mind? Those are all things that may be very beneficial and may help you just be able to be happier and more able to cope with life. You could then, still look for an inhalation sedation if you like, but maybe if things do not work out in one practice, it would be less of a set back. Besides that a counselor can be a stronger voice on your side - they can write you notes, get in touch with any doctor you have to deal with and brief them, they‘ll have your back. It makes things easier than when you have to explain everything yourself.

These are just my thoughts about everything. It is painful to see how much you suffer and even more this „it is as it is“ conclusion. I believe it doesn‘t have to be this way, but I am also appreciate that each of us has unique experiences and we all have the choice in how to deal with it.

All the best wishes, take care, let me know your thoughts if you like and hope things get better for you soon.

 

[Catie McBain]

I can't afford a counselor. I've been told before that I should see one, but I'm unemployed and I really don't have the money. I'm also too afraid of seeing one. My fear is so intense that if something has the potential to help, my mind and body shuts down and forces me to turn away.

As an example, I remember a time when I was with a friend of mine. She had a bottle of CBD oil and was holding it out to me, telling me that it could help with my anxiety if I took some. I remember just basically trembling and cowering in fear, holding my hands against my chest and backing away from her. I quietly said no, shaking my head. Because if it has the potential to help, I immediately see myself in the situation I'm afraid of as the end result and I'm unable to cope with the thought of being in that situation. The thought alone is too much for me. It's overwhelming.

But I really am okay living like this. I tried the best I could, and I know my limitations now. Though it always baffles me how people have good experiences with doctors and dentists, and yet my luck is absolutely horrid. I don't understand it. I remember a time several years ago when a friend recommended her family doctor, saying that they've all been going to him since they were little kids and that he's really good. She even came with me to the appointment and was in the room with me while I talked to him. To make a long story short, we walked out of there with her in shock, because he was rude to me and had a horrible attitude, and my friend said she'd never seen him like that before.

I have tried and tried, I have seen doctors and dentists in multiple towns throughout the years, all with similar results. I honestly wonder if maybe the universe doesn't want me to get professional treatment for my health issues, like maybe there's a bigger cosmic reasoning for it, something I can't quite see just yet.

They say everything happens for a reason. Maybe the reason is that I'm supposed to learn how to be independent in this life time, using my knowledge and intuition in order to solve my problems. I have learned how to care for myself on my own using natural remedies. Maybe that's all I was meant to do in this life.