I'm back...trying to book that appt!

[Penny]

Hi... been a while.. had a lot going on, including the fact I am now going through a divorce which means I no longer have any suport with this problem at home. Been about 2 and a half years I think since I last went, ( just checked previous posts and last time I went was 30th November 2007) and I am very much feeling the need to go now, only don't have the courage! Also will need to go to a new or previous one as the person I was seeing is too far away from where I live now... REALLY want to make the call, but struggling so badly. feel if I leave it much longer it will be something going really badly wrong that forces me to go, which I don't want, I need to have some control over the situation. I friend came to visit a few weeks ago from America who has encoraged me to start saying yes more, which has me in a far more positive state of mind.. so while I am saying yes, I want to get this out of the way. Cross with myself that I haven't managed it, and I am really scared of the consequences of going...get the runs and feel light headed just thinking about it. I am trying to build up to making a call tomorrow.. but I feel sick. How is it possible to be so conflicted?? x

 

[Penny]

Re: I'm back..trying to book that appointment!

ok.... done it... phoned the old dentist I used to see, who did my wisdom extraction, and made an appointment for ... wait for it......august ... friday the 13th no less.. so I phoned the one across the road and made one for 12th July, at 8.30, not going to cancel the other one, if I don't like the one across the road i can still keep that one, and the 12th is the day a friend is coming over from america to visit me so I have that to look forward to too, and if anything needs doing at least I will have her here as a distraction.. if I do ok at the one across the road i can cancel the august one, will be giving them a months notice. so thats it.. I did it!! cursing my other friend, PP and her start saying yes campaign of self improvement!! .... could do with a large vodka now.. and I don't have any!!!! x

 

[Jamie_39]

Congratulations on being proactive and making those appointments. You've given yourself options, taken things into your own hands, and I'm convinced you'll do great. Just remember that you don't always have to say "yes", if you don't like the dentist across the road you can say "no" too!

Here's hoping that your appointment goes well!

 

[Penny]

thanks Jamie.. the program she has me on has been very helpful actually, saying yes.. if I don't like the one across the road I will be saying yes to friday the 13th!! We have to try to see the positives in our situations that we struggle with, thats what she means. I surprised myself though by making the first call, let alone calling the other one as well. been trying to for a couple of months, took PP coming to stay and telling me I need to say yes more to give me the push I needed, and she doesn't even know I have said yes to this.. non of my non-internet friends know I have this problem! Sometimes the right support is all it takes, even though PP is 6000 miles away!! Thats why this site is so important. It gives the right suport too. I get so cross with myself though, I was on top of it, then I have let myself slide, it is so easy to do, but now I am trying not to think about the consequenses of of the neglect and time passed and what could happen when I go , instead I am trying to think that, YES I do want to be in control, pain free and in good dental health..and there is only one way to do that. x

 

[Penny]

The dreams have started.. I dont feel too paniced during the day and try to stay focused on other things, but you can't control what happens when you do manage to sleep.. x

 

[Penny]

just waiting now for the day.. trying not to panic

This is when I feel most alone. I dream about it at night and feel that everyone who looks at me can see it tatooed on my forehead... I feel like a freek. I feel sick, I don't dare have so much as one glass of wine or anything or everything that is just bubbling inside me might boil right up and over.. I try to remember that I WANT to do this, it is a choice, no one is forcing me. I just wish I could live in the moment and not borrow trouble, I don't even know what is going to happen when I get there. This consumes me. And I hate it.

 

[robotguy]

Even those with partners and family around us can feel totally alone, no one really understands just how all consuming this phobia can be unless you suffer from it too. that is why this forum is so great, no one condems you, no one tells you just to get over it, we all know how hard it can be. We are all here for you, we can and will support you.

I too found the nights hard sometimes. I've lain awake going through all sorts of stupid irrational feelings. Why do stupid teeth always feel worse at night, or on a Friday when you cant get to a dentist until after the weekend.

You are in control of this though, you are taking positive steps towards your health. Take comfort in knowing you ARE strong enough to do this, you will feel great when its accomplished, be proud of your strength.

Yes I know the wanting it to stop and be over with feelings too, I ignored my teeth for 26+years, hoping they would just be OK, it didn't work, they still caused me problems, now finally I'm doing the positive thing and fixing them up again, I'm determined to see it through as its such a positive thing to do. You can do it too, you are strong enough.

You are not alone

 

[maube]

I definitely understand what you are going through, as I am going through myself. I managed to get my checkup and cleaning but the thought of getting the work done I need to makes me want to vomit.

I slept better when I thought I was able to get sedated to get the work done, and the pain started to abate... but now that I cannot get sedated for it, I am back to a nervous mess. I could not sleep last night from the pain and the anxiety and when you have two small kids it is definitely not good.

My parents are no support, they just tell me 'Well you should have gone to the dentist more often' I guess the forget the part when the dentist pulled teeth by strapping me in the chair and forgetting to give me anything for the pain. I think I ended up passing out by the end.. or I just blocked the worst part from my conciousness.

I am trying so very hard to be brave, I am trying so hard to take better careof myself but I don't have much of a support system here.

 

[haggis for the soul]

Penny, you're not a freak, and you're not alone. You have dental anxiety, like millions of others. And despite that, you've managed to make the appointment and are actively working to get your teeth healthy. You should be so proud of yourself. It takes a LOT of courage to press on despite crushing anxiety.

David Burns's book Panic Attacks has been very helpful for me, and I have come up with some distraction techniques like doing left-brain activities (math puzzles, etc) and counting backwards just before and during procedures, as well as breathing exercises. I hope that you'll find coping techniques that will work for you.

It's obvious that you want to do this for yourself, and I believe you can!

 

[Penny]

Thank you all... I know. You are all right.. only 12 days to wait.. I think I will feel better (I HOPE) when I know what I am facing, it is a new dentist, I find check ups worse in most cases than the treatment as you don't know what to expect, they could give you REALLY bad news, and I am dreaming about it every night which doesn't help. Just want to get it over with, I don't want to have something control me like this any more, My largest gap was 7 or 8 years, I forget now, and I am currently at 2 and a half.. I don't want that any more, so my motivation is there.. I will be gutted if the time comes and I don't manage it though. GUTTED x

 

[Penny]

Just about a week to wait now... the waiting is terrible isn't it??? I just wish the dreams could be controled.. getting outright nightmares now, and I am scared the sleepwalking will start as the date comes nearer so I am sleeping more and more badly. I hate not knowing what will happen.. it is like when nitty nora came to school and your head started to itch.. every single tooth aches now, and I know it isn't going to be that bad... I HOPE!! Absolutly exhausted. by the whole thing x

 

[Dave48]

Hi Penny Hope everything goes ok for you it will.

Dave.

 

[Penny]

slept walked last night, ate a bag of chocolate bananas and a tub of cherry tomatoes..bed was a right mess with chocolate all over the back of my nightie and the bedding and that, shows how stressed out I am.. and I wouldn't have cleaned my teeth after either..got a week to wait, could be certifiable by then x

 

[Penny]

GOD... not sleeping at all now, it is friday and going monday.. got the runs, I have a headache.. yada yada, this new plae is just across my street and I try to imagine walking in confidently.. but I am just not seeing that... if i don't manage I will be so upset and cross with myself.. just want to get it over with.. I think the waiting is the worse bit. On the upside I have lost 10 pounds.. much needed.. but I feel horrible, like a car crash waiting to happen.

 

[Penny]

talking to myself here really!! 2.30 in the morning... going to be totally sleepless again... I am so tired and sick of feeling like this... it is just total torment over a check up.. honest to goodness, taken loads of sleepaids, and had a couple of glasses of wine and nothing.. just can't sleep I am so wound up over this appointment.. and worrying in case i don't manage to go and then just have to go through more weeks of hell building up to it again as I can't put it off again. Stupid, stupid, stupid.. x

 

[starduststeph]

I totally understand how you feel. I went to the new dentist yesterday after 3 1/2 years. The anticipatory anxiety and dread was the worst. I felt numb, sick, and completely out of control. I had headaches, nausea, and major panic attacks.

The dentist visit yesterday was NOTHING I mean nothing remotely near bad. I wasn't 100% comfortable, but who would be? It was a great dentist who talked to me about my hobbies and took very good care of me. I was so scared before my appointment I called and told the receptionist how afraid I was, she got the dentist and the dentist herself spoke to me a few minutes to help ease my mind. I really recommend trying this or at least talking to someone in the office before hand to express your fears so they understand how you're feeling. It really helped me and the staff understand my needs and it lead me to have a very yes I'll say it a pleasant visit to the dentist!

I know it's difficult and easier said than done, but you don't need to punish yourself now. Also you are not stupid or a freak at all! I know how scared you are and how terrible it feels. You feel too paralyzed to function, and you're right not going will only allow these feelings to build up. You should be proud you took the proactive approach to make and appointment for you and your dental health!

You really need to distract yourself. I believe you can walk in their with confidence. Don't let the negative thoughts tell you otherwise and drown you in doubt. I agree with Haggis doing puzzles or little activities that keep your brain occupied is helpful. I also listened to some relaxation CDs (I'm sure you can find something similar online for free) that helped me practice deep breathing and helped me fall asleep the night before my appointment.

I hope some of these suggestions help you. I felt this way exactly 48 hours ago! I get it.

 

[Penny]

thats.. I will try to work on that.. so tired now I am beyond caring.. but I appreciate the suport. I really do x

 

[Penny]

24 hours and I will be doing it.. I hope.. got to, really have to get to grips with this again, can't keep on like this.. got the runs so bad.. and I feel sick. I think I hate check ups more than anything, at least I do right now ha ha ha, you just don't kow what they are going to say, or want to do, she might want to do something I really, REALLY can't do. Feel like I am going to pass out. The plan is to keep busy today.. going to have a REALLY clean house by this time tomorrow.. that's for sure. x