B
BunnySPN
Junior member
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2023
- Messages
- 8
- Location
- New Jersey
Hey, I'm Bunny. My story's a long one and I'm feeling emotional and ready to spill my guts about what is easily my biggest problem in life, so buckle up.
I've never been able to see a dentist without a host of problems, ever since I started seeing dentists in my early years. A lot of my qualities make me any dentist's worst nightmare and each time I frustrated some new dentist to their wit's end I'd just be further discouraged by yet another bad experience coupled with the guilt of knowing my continued pain was all my fault. My gag reflex is triggered extremely easy (I once had an impression attempted three times and none were successful ultimately because I couldn't help gagging on the impression material), and I seem to be more sensitive to pain than the average person--- I would always get absolutely loaded up on Novocain and still manage to feel the work being done, beyond just that normal sense of pressure. Maybe that's in my head, maybe not, but either way it would always feel real to me and I'd still be told "there's no way this could possibly be hurting" and continue to be worked on. My mom, who would have to take me to appointments when I was young, would tell me to "cut the crap" and "take it like a man" (though I wasn't a man, I was a little girl) as I panicked and cried. If I panicked to the point I couldn't keep still or quiet any longer the dentist would stop working at whatever half-way point they could get to and then the visit would end and that dentist would refuse to work on me again. Mom would treat me like some demon seed for not making this easier for everyone, but I was too young and scared to find the words to explain that I wasn't trying to cause problems, that it wasn't like I ENJOYED having this problem. Although the dentists recommended psychiatric help for the anxiety and/or some type of sedation, my mom wouldn't let me have those things for whatever reason (money, principle, what have you) and so I never got my dental problems under control because I was never given the tools necessary to make it happen. It's for these reasons I still have a lot of unfinished work in my mouth, and some of those teeth wound up waiting so long they became unsalvageable. Now at 25 years old I'm missing several teeth, fortunately none that are extremely visible, but still it's noticeable if I smile. Last time I went to the dentist was probably about four years ago, and I still have a temp covering an unfinished root canal in one of the bottom molars that has been hanging on for dear life since then. I have horrible, screaming cavities that have been growing for years. On top of the physical problems still existing, the emotional scars are lasting and even as an adult I still feel it's better to remain in excruciating pain day in and day out than try again and risk a repeat of the pain and mistreatment from dentists and family alike. The pain of going to the dentist and the pain of NOT going have been duking it out inside my mind for the better part of two decades now. This pain continues to solidify into fear and anxiety and I don't feel that I can find the trusted support necessary to get past it.
In adulthood when I tried again to solve my dental problems (which was hard enough just to try) I'd be met with judgment and shame from dentists who told me I'm only gonna have one set of adult teeth (tell me something I don't know) and that I should be taking better care of them (I take care of my teeth as best as I can without assistance from dental professionals, my phobia makes it incredibly hard to so much as reach out for a consult). Others try to scare me into compliance by going into depth about systemic health problems I could suffer from as a result of poor dental health; as a healthcare worker of many years and a nursing student about to graduate this June I'm well aware that dental problems can come with consequences, and believe you me, the irony of someone educated about human health and anatomy having a self-care deficit is not lost on me. I would love to see a dentist who will understand where I'm coming from and treat me nonjudgmentally as not just a set of teeth, but a human being with feelings--- feelings that have been consistently trampled on over this issue in particular my whole life long. Even if I do find someone like that who will show me mercy, I still run into another wall--- what if it's worse than I think? What if I can't handle the news they give me? What if I lose all my teeth before I even turn 30, and (speaking just for me here) end up with dentures which would be a painful daily reminder that I didn't take good enough care of myself? I'm aware that I could be prescribed Xanax or Valium, but still (admittedly pretty illogically) I fear these meds not working and I just end up getting hurt again. I have too many "what-if's" in my head to just show up at the dentist and get the work done without thinking about it.
Now, the pain is so severe that I have headaches on the daily. It's affecting my eating. I'm constantly preoccupied with the fact that my teeth are not healthy. And my fear of seeing a dentist is still so bad that I can hardly even entertain the idea of doing so. I can't even stand depictions of dentists and dental work on TV and depending what is shown I'll either feel nauseous and uncomfortable or start to panic and cry. I'm in the home stretch of a very intensive nursing program, and soon I'll be entering into a wonderful new career. I should be celebrating, and instead I'm suffering from a lifelong pain that shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. The comfort measures meant to bring ease to people suffering from dental phobia were not allotted to me as a child and years later I still can't get past the feeling that I don't deserve them and should have to go through everything awake, aware and suffering based on my mom's principle that I should be tougher and stronger.
Despite everything I haven't completely given up yet, as this is still something I want to work on. I hope to somehow, some way overcome my dental phobia, get out of pain, save my viable teeth and get implants to replace any that were lost. Does anyone here have an experience similar to mine? If so, could you tell me some things that helped you cope/achieve successes?
I've never been able to see a dentist without a host of problems, ever since I started seeing dentists in my early years. A lot of my qualities make me any dentist's worst nightmare and each time I frustrated some new dentist to their wit's end I'd just be further discouraged by yet another bad experience coupled with the guilt of knowing my continued pain was all my fault. My gag reflex is triggered extremely easy (I once had an impression attempted three times and none were successful ultimately because I couldn't help gagging on the impression material), and I seem to be more sensitive to pain than the average person--- I would always get absolutely loaded up on Novocain and still manage to feel the work being done, beyond just that normal sense of pressure. Maybe that's in my head, maybe not, but either way it would always feel real to me and I'd still be told "there's no way this could possibly be hurting" and continue to be worked on. My mom, who would have to take me to appointments when I was young, would tell me to "cut the crap" and "take it like a man" (though I wasn't a man, I was a little girl) as I panicked and cried. If I panicked to the point I couldn't keep still or quiet any longer the dentist would stop working at whatever half-way point they could get to and then the visit would end and that dentist would refuse to work on me again. Mom would treat me like some demon seed for not making this easier for everyone, but I was too young and scared to find the words to explain that I wasn't trying to cause problems, that it wasn't like I ENJOYED having this problem. Although the dentists recommended psychiatric help for the anxiety and/or some type of sedation, my mom wouldn't let me have those things for whatever reason (money, principle, what have you) and so I never got my dental problems under control because I was never given the tools necessary to make it happen. It's for these reasons I still have a lot of unfinished work in my mouth, and some of those teeth wound up waiting so long they became unsalvageable. Now at 25 years old I'm missing several teeth, fortunately none that are extremely visible, but still it's noticeable if I smile. Last time I went to the dentist was probably about four years ago, and I still have a temp covering an unfinished root canal in one of the bottom molars that has been hanging on for dear life since then. I have horrible, screaming cavities that have been growing for years. On top of the physical problems still existing, the emotional scars are lasting and even as an adult I still feel it's better to remain in excruciating pain day in and day out than try again and risk a repeat of the pain and mistreatment from dentists and family alike. The pain of going to the dentist and the pain of NOT going have been duking it out inside my mind for the better part of two decades now. This pain continues to solidify into fear and anxiety and I don't feel that I can find the trusted support necessary to get past it.
In adulthood when I tried again to solve my dental problems (which was hard enough just to try) I'd be met with judgment and shame from dentists who told me I'm only gonna have one set of adult teeth (tell me something I don't know) and that I should be taking better care of them (I take care of my teeth as best as I can without assistance from dental professionals, my phobia makes it incredibly hard to so much as reach out for a consult). Others try to scare me into compliance by going into depth about systemic health problems I could suffer from as a result of poor dental health; as a healthcare worker of many years and a nursing student about to graduate this June I'm well aware that dental problems can come with consequences, and believe you me, the irony of someone educated about human health and anatomy having a self-care deficit is not lost on me. I would love to see a dentist who will understand where I'm coming from and treat me nonjudgmentally as not just a set of teeth, but a human being with feelings--- feelings that have been consistently trampled on over this issue in particular my whole life long. Even if I do find someone like that who will show me mercy, I still run into another wall--- what if it's worse than I think? What if I can't handle the news they give me? What if I lose all my teeth before I even turn 30, and (speaking just for me here) end up with dentures which would be a painful daily reminder that I didn't take good enough care of myself? I'm aware that I could be prescribed Xanax or Valium, but still (admittedly pretty illogically) I fear these meds not working and I just end up getting hurt again. I have too many "what-if's" in my head to just show up at the dentist and get the work done without thinking about it.
Now, the pain is so severe that I have headaches on the daily. It's affecting my eating. I'm constantly preoccupied with the fact that my teeth are not healthy. And my fear of seeing a dentist is still so bad that I can hardly even entertain the idea of doing so. I can't even stand depictions of dentists and dental work on TV and depending what is shown I'll either feel nauseous and uncomfortable or start to panic and cry. I'm in the home stretch of a very intensive nursing program, and soon I'll be entering into a wonderful new career. I should be celebrating, and instead I'm suffering from a lifelong pain that shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. The comfort measures meant to bring ease to people suffering from dental phobia were not allotted to me as a child and years later I still can't get past the feeling that I don't deserve them and should have to go through everything awake, aware and suffering based on my mom's principle that I should be tougher and stronger.
Despite everything I haven't completely given up yet, as this is still something I want to work on. I hope to somehow, some way overcome my dental phobia, get out of pain, save my viable teeth and get implants to replace any that were lost. Does anyone here have an experience similar to mine? If so, could you tell me some things that helped you cope/achieve successes?