M
mintkilldeer
Junior member
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2018
- Messages
- 7
I created an account here because I don't know where else to go. I've developed this extreme anxiety over my teeth last month when I had to get a front crown, my second crown at age 20.
Basically, from the beginning of my life, my parents didn't really care about my dental hygiene. Or even really whether I bathed besides the occasional comment or two if I went more than a week without showering/bathing. More importantly, they never brushed my teeth or made me brush my own teeth. It's not like I didn't know what brushing teeth was or anything. I first learned about brushing teeth when I was six-years-old at school. They gave us free toothbrushes and a sticker sheet and a little calendar. We were supposed to put a sticker on the calendar for every day we brushed. I hung it up on the bathroom wall near the sink and proudly started it. I only got one sticker in before I gave up, for whatever kiddie reason. My parents didn't comment on this or try to get me to brush my teeth. They, however, have decent dental hygiene. Maybe they thought I would just pick up on it from seeing them do it.
So fast forward to age eight. My parents took me to an orthodontist which began the several year cycle of retainer to braces to retainer to braces. My teeth were extremely crooked apparently. It wasn't too long before orthodontist became worried that I wasn't brushing or flossing. I was told I should brush/floss repeatedly by the orthodontist. Apparently, he also went to my mother with these concerns. She didn't do anything.
Around this time, my father started pursuing legal action against his workplace and became obsessed with it. My mother started using more and more of her time to help him with that. It was all he could talk or think about, so, when he came home, they would sit in the living room and obsess over it for hours. So no one was really making sure I was doing, well, any of the things I'm supposed to do at night. Again, I think they just expected me to learn it on my own.
I then started to develop major mental health issues and warning signs, possibly because of being sexually abused for two weeks when I was eight years old. Or possibly from modeling on my father's increasing erratic behaviors, which I now know to also originate from mental illness. I started seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and was prescribed medication. My parents soon forgot that I had to take the medication, and I didn't have access to it. When I asked my mother where my meds are for depression, my mother claimed she had no idea what I was talking about, so again, very hands-off parenting. But, weirdly enough, in other areas of my life they were extremely (maybe even overly) hands-on. To contrast, I wasn't allowed to go outside into the backyard unsupervised or be out of the baby stroller/pram/whatever-you-call-it in public until I was eight years old.
So during my preteen and early teen years, my neglect of hygiene started to become more and more obvious. During this time, my mental health became worse, and I drank more and more soda. There were some times during my preteen and teen years where I would start brushing, do it for a couple weeks, stop, start again, do it again for a while, then stop entirely. The reason it was difficult to keep doing it was mainly sensory issues, though the fact I had never really developed the habit didn't help either.
My braces finally came off at age sixteen. Or fifteen. I don't remember. I think I was just too far gone in fucking up my teeth, so they didn't think it was a good idea. Then, I started getting fillings. Lots of fillings. My parents didn't comment or seem worried about this. Neither of them took me aside and talked to me about oral health. I didn't even realize the damage was irreversible. Then again, if I was told, I'm not sure if I would have been mentally sound enough to try and correct my habits without help. My compliance to meds was very, very low.
I soon developed psychosis. I won't go into details, but it got to the point that my teachers noticed and contacted social workers to come and take a look at my house. I was sent to an in-patient care facility on a 72 hour hold because I was deemed a danger to myself. They noticed my lack of hygiene and actually tried their best to get me to do it! And I did it. But I was miserable, so my parents took me out against all the doctors' recommendations. My dental health again became as spotty as it was previously.
Then, I started going to college many miles away, and I did really well, even improving my mental health and personal hygiene by heaps and bounds. I chipped my front tooth, however, probably due to acid erosion and other factors. The chipping depressed me, but also further encouraged me to improve my dental habits. Except, I dropped out and moved back in with my parents in order to transfer to a different school. My mental health then plummeted. As did my personal hygiene. I tried to brush at least once a day. Whether I succeeded varied wildly.
So this year, I had three dental appointments and also changed to a once-a-month medication. The first appointment was a cleaning that we kept having to delay from the previous year. When I was checked out, I was told I only had a broken filling (no cavities or anything). But in the process of the appointment, they broke one of my molars and had to put a crown on it. Then, for an unrelated reason, I became depressed, and, again, my hygiene was the first to go. Which led to me chipping another front tooth. I went in. They initially said it would be a filling, but, then, they realized my front teeth were too far gone and decided on a dental crown. My dentist then went on about how he's worried about me because I haven't been brushing my teeth. I started crying in the chair.
Ever since then, I've brushed twice a day, every day. Flossing at least once a day. I've cut out soda, candy, any super sugary food. I've started drinking more milk and yogurt. Even calcium supplements, too.
But then my third appointment, I got my permanent crown put on, and I didn't even get a chance to voice my concerns over my teeth. It was a very quick procedure. I think my dentist thinks I must be a lost cause because he didn't even talk to me like usual. My teeth have marks on them, probably from decay and staining. They're getting yellow and probably have very little enamel left. I feel disgusting. I don't like being around people anymore. I hate even looking at teeth.
I just feel so guilty. Yes, my parents played a role, but I should have done better for myself. My therapist says my concern is a good sign for my recovery, but I just feel miserable. I keep looking up on dental advances, hoping that maybe tooth regeneration will come sooner rather than later (research is promising but still has a ways to go). I really just want to start over with a fresh set of real teeth.
My next appointment is in less than a couple weeks, for a cleaning. I'm worried that they'll just tell me I'm too far gone. I still have my teeth, but how long until they have to extract them all?
Basically, from the beginning of my life, my parents didn't really care about my dental hygiene. Or even really whether I bathed besides the occasional comment or two if I went more than a week without showering/bathing. More importantly, they never brushed my teeth or made me brush my own teeth. It's not like I didn't know what brushing teeth was or anything. I first learned about brushing teeth when I was six-years-old at school. They gave us free toothbrushes and a sticker sheet and a little calendar. We were supposed to put a sticker on the calendar for every day we brushed. I hung it up on the bathroom wall near the sink and proudly started it. I only got one sticker in before I gave up, for whatever kiddie reason. My parents didn't comment on this or try to get me to brush my teeth. They, however, have decent dental hygiene. Maybe they thought I would just pick up on it from seeing them do it.
So fast forward to age eight. My parents took me to an orthodontist which began the several year cycle of retainer to braces to retainer to braces. My teeth were extremely crooked apparently. It wasn't too long before orthodontist became worried that I wasn't brushing or flossing. I was told I should brush/floss repeatedly by the orthodontist. Apparently, he also went to my mother with these concerns. She didn't do anything.
Around this time, my father started pursuing legal action against his workplace and became obsessed with it. My mother started using more and more of her time to help him with that. It was all he could talk or think about, so, when he came home, they would sit in the living room and obsess over it for hours. So no one was really making sure I was doing, well, any of the things I'm supposed to do at night. Again, I think they just expected me to learn it on my own.
I then started to develop major mental health issues and warning signs, possibly because of being sexually abused for two weeks when I was eight years old. Or possibly from modeling on my father's increasing erratic behaviors, which I now know to also originate from mental illness. I started seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and was prescribed medication. My parents soon forgot that I had to take the medication, and I didn't have access to it. When I asked my mother where my meds are for depression, my mother claimed she had no idea what I was talking about, so again, very hands-off parenting. But, weirdly enough, in other areas of my life they were extremely (maybe even overly) hands-on. To contrast, I wasn't allowed to go outside into the backyard unsupervised or be out of the baby stroller/pram/whatever-you-call-it in public until I was eight years old.
So during my preteen and early teen years, my neglect of hygiene started to become more and more obvious. During this time, my mental health became worse, and I drank more and more soda. There were some times during my preteen and teen years where I would start brushing, do it for a couple weeks, stop, start again, do it again for a while, then stop entirely. The reason it was difficult to keep doing it was mainly sensory issues, though the fact I had never really developed the habit didn't help either.
My braces finally came off at age sixteen. Or fifteen. I don't remember. I think I was just too far gone in fucking up my teeth, so they didn't think it was a good idea. Then, I started getting fillings. Lots of fillings. My parents didn't comment or seem worried about this. Neither of them took me aside and talked to me about oral health. I didn't even realize the damage was irreversible. Then again, if I was told, I'm not sure if I would have been mentally sound enough to try and correct my habits without help. My compliance to meds was very, very low.
I soon developed psychosis. I won't go into details, but it got to the point that my teachers noticed and contacted social workers to come and take a look at my house. I was sent to an in-patient care facility on a 72 hour hold because I was deemed a danger to myself. They noticed my lack of hygiene and actually tried their best to get me to do it! And I did it. But I was miserable, so my parents took me out against all the doctors' recommendations. My dental health again became as spotty as it was previously.
Then, I started going to college many miles away, and I did really well, even improving my mental health and personal hygiene by heaps and bounds. I chipped my front tooth, however, probably due to acid erosion and other factors. The chipping depressed me, but also further encouraged me to improve my dental habits. Except, I dropped out and moved back in with my parents in order to transfer to a different school. My mental health then plummeted. As did my personal hygiene. I tried to brush at least once a day. Whether I succeeded varied wildly.
So this year, I had three dental appointments and also changed to a once-a-month medication. The first appointment was a cleaning that we kept having to delay from the previous year. When I was checked out, I was told I only had a broken filling (no cavities or anything). But in the process of the appointment, they broke one of my molars and had to put a crown on it. Then, for an unrelated reason, I became depressed, and, again, my hygiene was the first to go. Which led to me chipping another front tooth. I went in. They initially said it would be a filling, but, then, they realized my front teeth were too far gone and decided on a dental crown. My dentist then went on about how he's worried about me because I haven't been brushing my teeth. I started crying in the chair.
Ever since then, I've brushed twice a day, every day. Flossing at least once a day. I've cut out soda, candy, any super sugary food. I've started drinking more milk and yogurt. Even calcium supplements, too.
But then my third appointment, I got my permanent crown put on, and I didn't even get a chance to voice my concerns over my teeth. It was a very quick procedure. I think my dentist thinks I must be a lost cause because he didn't even talk to me like usual. My teeth have marks on them, probably from decay and staining. They're getting yellow and probably have very little enamel left. I feel disgusting. I don't like being around people anymore. I hate even looking at teeth.
I just feel so guilty. Yes, my parents played a role, but I should have done better for myself. My therapist says my concern is a good sign for my recovery, but I just feel miserable. I keep looking up on dental advances, hoping that maybe tooth regeneration will come sooner rather than later (research is promising but still has a ways to go). I really just want to start over with a fresh set of real teeth.
My next appointment is in less than a couple weeks, for a cleaning. I'm worried that they'll just tell me I'm too far gone. I still have my teeth, but how long until they have to extract them all?
Last edited: