Need support to overcome my fear of the dentist

[Geord359]

This is my first post on this website so I will introduce myself and tell you a little about my problems with the dentist.

Hi all, I'm from the UK and I suppose I'm one of those people this site was set up for. I haven't been to the dentist for 8 years and I've got to the point where my teeth are in such a state that I'm going to have to go soon. I wouldn't say I get a lot of tooth pain, its more a constant nagging to the extent that it sometimes gives me a headache. That said, I've noticed my front tooth moves slightly and it has eroded quite a bit, so I do need work done. I also have a few issues with irritated gums and a wisdom tooth that is coming through.

My problem is I'm terrified of the dentist, even the thoughts of the dentist looking at my teeth makes me panic. I know I need to go, and my family say 'just go to the dentist' but its not that simple. I need a plan to figure out how I'm going to get past my fears. I'm pretty sure this is going to involve some sort of sedation. But anyway, I'm here to ask for your support and ask a few questions.

So I guess my question is what first steps can I take that won't be too intimidating? and how do I go about getting sedation in the UK?

 

[carole]

Hi to the forum.

The first step you could take is to email, write and post a letter or phone around some dentists you like the look of or that are in an area you would be willing to travel to, see what replies you get back and pick the ones you like the look of and contact them for an appointment.

Explain how you feel as you have done on here. I am also from the UK and I was just as scared as you. You can also ask friends and family what there dentists are like. You need to remember that at the first appointment they will not do any treatment, they will need to have a look and maybe take an x ray if you feel you could handle that, if not they can do it later. Explain to the dentist that you are very nervous and afraid also I think you will be surprised at how they have changed and they will put your mind to rest about getting treatment. If you know what it is that frightens you tell them and they can address all your fears.
If you feel uncomfortable with a dentist or don't feel any confidence in them then find another one that you feel okay with. They can take things at a pace you can deal with and they should explain what treatment you need and how to best get it done.

As far as I know sedation isn't done on the nhs anymore, but you can be referred to the dental hospital if you cannot afford to go private. Your dentist will be able to recommend places that do sedation.

As a last thought remember YOU ARE IN CHARGE and have to consent to any and all treatment for it to take place.

I hope you manage to get the courage to make that first move, which is the hardest move by the way.

 

[Geord359]

Thanks for your help Carole,

I'm going to do as you suggest. But I think I will end up going to the dental hospital for sedation. This is mainly because I may have to have quite a bit of work done. There are 2 main fears that are stopping me going to the dentist. They are:

1. The pain. Last time I went to the dentist as a 23 year old I only had 2 fillings and the pain was bad. So bad in fact that it has taken me this long to consider going to the dentist again.

2. Aesthetics. I'm worried that some of my teeth may need to me extracted. My front tooth seems to move from time to time (if I've been eating/drinking something acidic) and my right molar seems 'out of place' somehow and is a bit painful. Obviously, having my front tooth removed would be terrible, I'm only 31 and don't fancy wearing dentures just yet. There's also another fear regarding this. A guy I know from school had gingivitus (aggravated my diabetes) and had to have all his teeth removed, now that would be catastrophic. I know its unlikely but its there at the back of mind putting me off going.

I would be interested to hear from anyone else in the same situation as me who has conquered their fears. What strategies did you use to get yourself to go to the dentist? Just how painful was it? and if you had sedation, how did that go?

Thanks again

 

[Ihatedentistss]

Hi,

I hope I can offer you some comfort at the very least if nothing else. I've been to a lot of dentists in my 18 years...a few times too many...and I've just recently started to fight to regain control of my mouth. It's been a rough journey, but it really isn't as bad as you might expect it to be. A lot of it depends on your dentist.

A lot.

When I was a child, about five, I had a tooth that needed to be worked on. The dentist I was supposed to be seeing said my tooth would be fine and he went on vacation instead of working on it beforehand which he should have done. Well while the moron was on his nice little vacation, whadda ya know...my tooth abscessed. And my parents then picked the dentist from Hell to send me to and had the tooth pulled. The dentist who pulled my tooth was abusive. He was not only hostile towards me but shoved cotton in my mouth and threatened to shove it down my throat if I didn't stop crying. I think this is probably what lead me to fear dentists.

That being said, for the most part I pretty much pushed that horrible memory to the back of my mind like we often do when we're traumatized and it's most recently that it's really been resurfacing. I had fillings done as a young kid and strangely enough I don't remember any of those expect for when candy caused them to pop out, but I do remember having spacers which SUCKED...such misery...candy got those too lol...and I know I had more teeth pulled which is why I needed the stupid spacers. They were such a damn nightmare. And I never had a kind or good dentist during those years, and my father's attitude over the money made everything so much worse. I've grown up in a very nasty household.

anyways, sorry for the long story, but that brings me to the present. It's all these past bad experiences and all the trauma that really kept me from the dentist...plus the fact my dad didn't want to pay for yearly checkups. I'm now paying the price for this negligence. I went to a dentist on October 14th, 2013 to have work done (I had some X-rays done in July by another horrid dentist who was not only a jerk but gave me the news I apparently had eleven more cavities besides the two I knew about).

the three worst fillings were done and the whole time it was a nightmare. The dentist who I had thought was oh so nice poked a hole in my lip with the drill, was dropping filling down my throat without even realizing it, and the whole time he blabbed away to his assistant making stupid jokes while doing a horrible job.

i couldn't eat with that side of my mouth because of tooth pain which I didn't have before the procedure and after my terrible experience I NEVER wanted to return to the dentist.However, I was going to force myself to right then because I had the willpower but my mom said we needed to wait before I went back in for more fillings and of course I pretty much lost all willpower after that which sucks...and so it wasn't until a tooth that that previous dentist filled abscessed that I went back to another dentist this August. Probably my hundredth.

my new dentist, who I did not like until today, told me I was in need of a root canal and that one of my other cavities could very well need a root canal too. She struck me as unkind and sort of belittled me about the condition of my teeth and made me confused about things. She wasn't a terror though but I felt uncomfortable. I broke down in tears and was referred to an endodonist.

Well naturally i had the root canal and let me tell you it wasn't bad at all. I had to be numbed a couple of times during the procedure and of course it wasn't "fun" but it's not like the horror stories you read and the endodonist was alright. All in all it was fine. I had some concerns afterwards and I had to go back for a temporary filling since he had to put medicine in the tooth due to the infection and I still need a crown later but that was my first big step.

then I booked an appointment to have two other big cavities taken care of. I had thought terribly of my new dentist from my previous visit, she had seemed unkind and made me feel bad, but I was so surprised today when she was the kindest to me any dentist has ever been. I felt like she actually knew what she was doing and i felt like she and the assistants actually cared. I could very well end up with a root canal because the nerve of one tooth might die, which I'm not happy about, but I feel like she at least did her best and I'll keep my fingers crossed.

This being said, I booked another appointment...which wouldn't you know landed on October 14th...the anniversary of my previous dental nightmare. I'm not near as scared to go to that appointment as I was the appointment I had today because now I feel like I sort of know what to expect and that I'll be in good hands. I just hope I continue to feel this way about my new dentist and her staff.

I know this has been long, but I typed it out because my point is that the DENTIST is what makes all the difference. I've tried almost all the dentists in my area, and she is the first one in my entire life that I actually liked and didn't feel screwed over by. Not to mention her prices are amazing considering the work...although she is going to be charging an arm and a leg for the crown I need later on...

I definitely encourage you to go for treatment. You're going to be fine, believe me. Find the right dentist for you, someone who has a good reputation and does good work, and it will make the journey so much easier. Believe me.

as for the numbing shots, if you're wondering, a lot of people are scared of them but they're not so bad. Seriously. They're much, much better than those rabies vaccinations I had but even those weren't terrible, except for one. And I hate shots. The dentist will rub your gums in numbing gel and then after a moment give you the shot(s). At the very most you'll feel a brief pinch. It's nothing. And when you start getting numbing it feels kind of funny which makes me laugh sometimes.

some dentists offer anxiety medication before they give you the shots, so ask about that. I'm going to try it for my next procedure. I definitely think it would help lots.

also, keep your eyes closed while work is being done. You won't have to see what's going on and because you're numb you won't feel any pain so you can just listen to their voices or the music playing in the background or what have you and before you know it the whole thing is over! It never seems like as long as it's been.

Honestly, the worst part is keeping your mouth open and even that is tolerable.

Hope this helps some

 

[Lmtg]

Hi there, like most of you I had a bad experience as a kid which turned me off the dentist for years. (Dentist didn't numb me properly for a filling and ignored me when I told her I could still feel everything and carried on) anyway after years of putting off looking after my teeth I got an infection and had no choice so I went...awful experience, again put off for a few years.

When i needed to go back again I was terrified! The internet, friends and family really are your best source of advice. My mam still insists on visiting a dentist that hurts her with a cleaning! Why I don't know. So my story. I have found my dentist! The waiting is usually the worst part for me. Getting the courage to go in the first place.
you need to find a dentist you can trust, that will make sure you are the main focus the whole way. I will sit in the waiting room of my dentist to this day and cry and that is perfectly fine with them. We use hand signals to show if I am uncomfortable and every step is explained. I can listen to my music if I want or he will natter away to me to keep me distracted, different days call for different distractions.

once you find someone you trust you will make it back to them. I recently got a cleaning (without any numbing agent I'm so proud) and was told I needed all 4 wisdom teeth removed as well as possible a 5th due to damage the wisdom tooth caused. However happy to say I got that pesky one filled and am in hour 36 of my post iv sedation wisdom tooth extraction and feeling fine. Sick of mash and my stitches are a wee bit loose and annoying but swelling isn't bad and I can talk.

point of this really long explanation is you need to find a dentist you are comfortable with. Go talk to them, only talk, if you find yourself getting along with them it is a lot easier to trust them with your teeth. The dentist will never be one of my favourite places to be but knowing that when I do have something wrong they will be gentle and put me through as little pain as possible is the best. It means that I can get my check up
done twice a year and not end up with a mountain of dental work to do all at once.

Hope this helps somebody. This site helped me a lot before my wisdom tooth extractions.

good luck

 

[Geord359]

Thanks for your input LMTG/Ihateddentistss. It helps to know that others have had troubles similar to my own. LMTG, you mention in your post that you had iv sedation. I think thats something I'll have to use at first. Could you give me some info on where you had it (what country), what the general experience was like, and (most importantly) was there any pain?

Thanks again

 

[Lmtg]

Hi Geord359.

I got got my sedation done privately in ireland. I will tell you exactly what happened. My appointment was for 9am. The surgeon had given me a prescription for amoxicillin of which he told me to take one with a small breakfast the morning of. I got to the surgery, did all the paperwork, payment etc and I got called into the room. I sat in the chair he put a blood pressure cuff on my arm and some thing on my finger to measure something I suppose. Then I sat back he put a needle ok my arm (this has never bothered me I'm used to getting blood taken) small pinch but nothing major. He then took it out told me that there was just a bit of plastic in there now and he was going to put in a small bit of water and then he goes "now the good stuff". I remember asking do I need to take off my glasses, they said no they would and that's about it. I don't remember anything else.

I then remember coming around after, still in the chair (all done) and my friend being in the room. She had been called in to get post op instructions. I remember going to stand up and having to sit back down so they helped me stand steady. I remember bits of the car on the way home. Being really bothered that my hair was down when I went in with it up and not much else. I changed my gauze when I got home after I had taken the pain pills and that made me gag a little bit but after about 3 or 4 hours I had no bleeding.

I was still numb and that obviously felt weird but about 4 hours out that had worn off enough for me to have some food. I keet myself well drugged up with what they had given me and had relatively little pain. Woke up the next morning fairly sore but had gotten a full nights sleep so I had gone 8 hours without pain pills instead of 4-6. Once I took them again I was fine.

the pain was fine, my right jaw was worse (I had gotten a filling in the back molar 5 days before and it was a difficult one) but other than that it was ok. I was starving and uncomfortable more than in pain. Talking was hard, yawning hurt and it's only now 2 weeks later that sneezing doesn't hurt. Keep it clean, on day two salt and water often and water after everything you eat.

hope this helps and anything else you want to know let me know.

lmtg