Things just kinda suck in general (is that cool to say here?)

[Final Exam Deadlines]

I don't want to make anyone too upset or depressed, so maybe don't read this if you're in a bad place? I mean, it's not that bad honestly, but you never know what might have adverse affects on that sort of person, so...

Aaaaanyway. I joined this forum mainly to find a new dentist, because I need one cus of problems I'll probably bring up somewhere else or in Ask a Dentist or later or whatever, but I also wanted to just get involved in the community to maybe make me a little more comfortable with this stuff (and also so I'd be comfortable enough using the forum regularly). But yeah, anyone ever feel like there's a substantial existential component to dental fear? Like, back when I was still going regularly, it was just like, a cycle. I'd go, it'd be awful, I'd feel relieved for a little while, but then soon enough I had to deal with the dread of knowing I'd be going back (but not necessarily knowing exactly when), and there was no good time to be a dental phobic person. So then I didn't go for a while, and I felt slightly better, but then I had to deal with the insecurity that I was going to have to go back at SOME point (either because my parents would make me or I wouldn't do a good enough job of taking care of my mouth) and the fear of uncertainty (what was going on in my mouth, when would I know I had a cavity and by then would it be too late, etc.). And just last year, the certainty that YEAH, I did have to go back. And then I had my procedure (cavities and gingivitis) after which I couldn't eat for a while. I got better, and then, just recently, I got worse. I regressed after biting into a microwaved cheeseburger (not that that's what did it, but that let me know) and now I can barely eat again, and I don't know why.

And the TV in my kitchen has glitchy audio on it ONLY ON COMEDY CENTRAL FOR SOME REASON so I can't watch The Daily Show in there while eating and I still don't know what I'm going to do about not really having money to finish my college education or what to do with my future and all I wanna do is enjoy the month of Halloween and eat candy and hang out with my friends and man, it all feels pretty fatalistic sometimes.

I am not gonna miss my early 20s.

 

[CollegeBound]

It is certainly a cycle. I understand that. Last time I went was last year for fillings and the rest of the works. Although my experience went ok, I still am just as scared (for the most part), as when I started. You will have good days and bad days when it comes to your fear. Just roll with it.
I just began my 20's, and I am in college as well (hint as to why my screen name is CollegeBound ). Have you tried applying for loans for school?

 

[Final Exam Deadlines]

Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I think a big problem was always that I would be thinking of dental visits when I should've been enjoying my life and that the fear just sort of crept into everything. =( Maybe that could be resolved through therapy though (and the fact that I have genuine friends and kind of a better life than I had?).

Also, yeah, we have tried loans--that's sort of the issue. We don't want to get too ridiculously in debt and I've been going a long time since I switched majors and I became a part time student at one point (also cus money). Now I'm on a leave of absence and we're gonna have to start paying them.

 

[littlething]

Hey,

I certainly get it about the uncertainty and the kind of sense of relief you get by being in denial about all that is wrong with your teeth and not dealing with it at the moment. It was kind of this impending sense of doom for me. The uncertainty was a big part of why I was so afraid in the first place - I used to think that finding out what was wrong would be this terrifying event, but in reality, it turned out that finding out what was wrong in my mouth, and then having a plan of action on how to fix it made things a lot easier for me. This whole situation used to feel super overwhelming and seemed like this insurmountable mountain that I had to climb. With the right dentist though, it's more like a hill. I know you've been struggling a little bit in your search, but I swear he or she is out there! I do realize that I got incredibly lucky and basically had a super awesome dentist referral fall into my lap (I ended up seeing an orthodontist first, and he referred me to a general dentist whom he described as "good" and "a really nice guy" - both of these things have been true, and then some). And I'm not even sure if I would've been ready to deal with my fear, had my boyfriend not forced me to go - but I'm glad that I was forced to deal with it.

Also totally get it about the struggling to finish school part, I took forever to finish too (changed my major halfway through too, and the money part was definitely a struggle). And I don't miss my early 20s at all - it gets a lot better in your late 20s for sure. I just turned 30 this year and it was terrifying, but it has been a good age so far.

All the best to you!

 

[CollegeBound]

I have days in which I troll this site all day, and I do mean ALL DAY, trying to find a good answer for this stuff. I have worried myself into multiple bouts of depression, some of which resulted in suicidal thoughts. Like you, I have good friends who always get me out of my funks, even if they don't know the cause. Therapy is a great option, if you can afford it and are willing to get real with what you are feeling. That is scary, but it should be worth it. I am looking into therapy as well, but mostly for other stuff that has been going on, like depression. If you decide that route, let me know what happens!

I have switched majors once from early childhood education to Psychology, and love every minute of it. I go to a community college, which is cheaper, and I go online because of my full time job. Won't lie, it's tough, but worth it!

 

[Final Exam Deadlines]

I have days in which I troll this site all day, and I do mean ALL DAY, trying to find a good answer for this stuff. I have worried myself into multiple bouts of depression, some of which resulted in suicidal thoughts. Like you, I have good friends who always get me out of my funks, even if they don't know the cause. Therapy is a great option, if you can afford it and are willing to get real with what you are feeling. That is scary, but it should be worth it. I am looking into therapy as well, but mostly for other stuff that has been going on, like depression. If you decide that route, let me know what happens!

I have switched majors once from early childhood education to Psychology, and love every minute of it. I go to a community college, which is cheaper, and I go online because of my full time job. Won't lie, it's tough, but worth it!

Yeah, the worst thing about dental issues by far is that I have to take time out of my day to think about and focus on them. It doesn't help that I'm finding out this forum isn't super active...? >.> I unfortunately have not found most therapy helpful, probably mostly because I'm very self aware and in my own head. Thankfully, that also kind of means most of the stuff that bothers me does just that. It just kinda bothers me. I feel pretty bad at times, but I never feel in desperate need of therapy, bad feelings tend to pass, and I don't remember the last time I've felt suicidal. I'm very lucky in that respect. Good luck with everything you're doing now. How is Psychology by the way? Do you have to take a lot of science and math classes?

Hey,

I certainly get it about the uncertainty and the kind of sense of relief you get by being in denial about all that is wrong with your teeth and not dealing with it at the moment. It was kind of this impending sense of doom for me. The uncertainty was a big part of why I was so afraid in the first place - I used to think that finding out what was wrong would be this terrifying event, but in reality, it turned out that finding out what was wrong in my mouth, and then having a plan of action on how to fix it made things a lot easier for me. This whole situation used to feel super overwhelming and seemed like this insurmountable mountain that I had to climb. With the right dentist though, it's more like a hill. I know you've been struggling a little bit in your search, but I swear he or she is out there! I do realize that I got incredibly lucky and basically had a super awesome dentist referral fall into my lap (I ended up seeing an orthodontist first, and he referred me to a general dentist whom he described as "good" and "a really nice guy" - both of these things have been true, and then some). And I'm not even sure if I would've been ready to deal with my fear, had my boyfriend not forced me to go - but I'm glad that I was forced to deal with it.

Also totally get it about the struggling to finish school part, I took forever to finish too (changed my major halfway through too, and the money part was definitely a struggle). And I don't miss my early 20s at all - it gets a lot better in your late 20s for sure. I just turned 30 this year and it was terrifying, but it has been a good age so far.

All the best to you!

Huh, yeah, I think I noticed that when I found out about my recent problems. Sometimes it is better to know. Maybe it was so bad in the past because I was encouraged into thinking in situations where 'oh, turns out you do have a small cavity' that I should do it right then and there and do it FAST, when maybe I would've been more comfortable coming back and preparing for it (and having some actual kind of sedation =/). I appreciate the sentiment, and hey, good luck with your 30s, I suppose. c:

 

[CollegeBound]

It depends on who has what going on by how active it is on here. Sometimes it is booming, others it's a ghost town. I try to check things out at least 3 times a week, but with school and work, that's not always possible.

What therapy have you tried?

I love psychology. It is extremely interesting for me. I took one math class and one science class, mostly because I had some college credits in high school that transferred. I take a lot of communication classes and humanities.

 

[Spike 1969]

Yes, Collegebound is right, sometimes the forum is a hive of activity and then sometimes it's very quiet, it depends upon who is doing what plus we are all on different time zones.

Usually somebody will come on and try to help sooner rather than later.

I came from a dentist that had one single focus.......money, he employed associates that were generally uninterested in the patients, didn't bother building up a trust with them (most didn't stay longer than 6 months anyway) and were so overworked that they were always running at least 30 minutes behind, not good. That feeling of dread used to start about 3 weeks before an appointment culminating on the dreaded day itself and then the cycle would begin again.

Now I've fired them and signed up with my new dentist, the experience has done a 180 degree shift, He is always bang on time, I am listened to, everything explained, he doesn't do things that I don't like, the whole experience is totally pain free and the finished product looks and feels amazing, just everything I could wish from an ideal dental appointment.

From my experience, the key to a good experience is to find the right dentist for you, it takes a bit of research and perseverance on your part but if you do you can and will have a great experience.

Good luck with your search, please keep us posted.

 

[Final Exam Deadlines]

It depends on who has what going on by how active it is on here. Sometimes it is booming, others it's a ghost town. I try to check things out at least 3 times a week, but with school and work, that's not always possible.

What therapy have you tried?

I love psychology. It is extremely interesting for me. I took one math class and one science class, mostly because I had some college credits in high school that transferred. I take a lot of communication classes and humanities.

So far I've only tried the therapy available for free at my school, and one place by where I live, which has a bunch of therapists working there. I tried more than one person at my school and now I've gone through 2 therapists at the other place.

And the thing about my college is that if you do a specific major, you'll have certain courses that are required to take in subjects that are outside your major but are 'related' to it. So here, if I went into psychology, I might need to take more math and science stuff. It's like how I had to do English and basic, traditional art stuff when I went for animation.

Yes, Collegebound is right, sometimes the forum is a hive of activity and then sometimes it's very quiet, it depends upon who is doing what plus we are all on different time zones.

Usually somebody will come on and try to help sooner rather than later.

I came from a dentist that had one single focus.......money, he employed associates that were generally uninterested in the patients, didn't bother building up a trust with them (most didn't stay longer than 6 months anyway) and were so overworked that they were always running at least 30 minutes behind, not good. That feeling of dread used to start about 3 weeks before an appointment culminating on the dreaded day itself and then the cycle would begin again.

Now I've fired them and signed up with my new dentist, the experience has done a 180 degree shift, He is always bang on time, I am listened to, everything explained, he doesn't do things that I don't like, the whole experience is totally pain free and the finished product looks and feels amazing, just everything I could wish from an ideal dental appointment.

From my experience, the key to a good experience is to find the right dentist for you, it takes a bit of research and perseverance on your part but if you do you can and will have a great experience.

Good luck with your search, please keep us posted.

Yeah, that's what I've been hearing, and I'd love to find someone like that for me, but a small part of myself seems to think that's kind of a pipe dream. My main concern right now is my irritated gums, and wondering if I can even afford the time to look for such a dentist.

 

[The1701]

Yeah, that's what I've been hearing, and I'd love to find someone like that for me, but a small part of myself seems to think that's kind of a pipe dream. My main concern right now is my irritated gums, and wondering if I can even afford the time to look for such a dentist.

I know the search for a decent Dentist is tough but it is worth taking the time over. I spent the best part of 2 months poring over websites, sending emails and visiting a couple of places. It was frustrating and disheartening and after going through all the practices within walking distance of where I am I started to look a little further afield - at one point I even considered taking time off work and travelling to Glasgow to see someone but luckily found a good practice that it is about a 20-30 minute bus journey away.

The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I had gotten over the phobia once before with the help of a decent Dentist (I had gotten over my phobia some 20 odd years ago but then relapsed) so I ought to be capable of getting over it again if I found someone willing to help. I admit it was a bit easier for me to take the time as I had no pressing issues (apart from a broken tooth but that wasn't giving me any physical pain) but it was worth doing the research as going to the first one I found could have set me back even further.

Hang in there, you will find one of the good ones - they are out there.