Thisismyjournal (thisisme)

[thisisme]

I’m at the dentist now for a redo filling. I am so fed up. He didn’t want to redo it because it has the symptom of a crack though he sees no crack. He wants to send me to a specialist for a 3D for further examination. And it literally just started happening after he filled it. It was fine before and he sees nothing. So I was seriously just refill it and see what happens. I’m assertive because I had an awful day at work.

And he’s like okay and numbs me up, but he says after I’m numbed up, he wants to test my top teeth. My top teeth are fine. Don’t make them worse. I know the top right can give me some sensitivity now and then but it’s not the sharp pain. Ugh.

Also the pain is only when biting directly on the filling, not the tooth, and I’ve heard that a sharp pain can be indicative of a bad filling. So seriously, you’re not perfect. Nobody is. You did four teeth at a time and it happens. And if it still hurts after a redo, I’ll get it looked at but man.

Send help. I’m done.

 

[thisisme]

I found the cure for dental fear. It’s anger. Work anger. Dental anger. I’m in the chair and not scared. I’m angry.

 

[thisisme]

So the filling is done and he gave me a referral which is like saying “we don’t want to deal with this issue anymore.” I’m a bit worried that when biting down for a test, my tongue grazed the tooth and I tasted something I shouldn’t have, so I probably messed up this filling too, which stinks because he won’t take me back for this issue. Maybe it’ll be okay. Maybe I’m panicking for nothing. I should have just left it. The pain wasn’t bad and only if I bit down really really hard. If this filling is worse, I’m going to be so mad at myself.

 

[JaySee19]

Sounds as if you’re having a rough time! Hope you’re feeling better now the filling has been re-done.
And you’re right about anger being a cure for dental fear. But it’s probably not a good idea to be too angry at your dentist! I try to remember that they’re here to help me and are only doing their job - hopefully to the best of their ability! They are not trying to make my life a misery, but helping me find a way out of misery/pain. And getting angry so they don’t want anything to do with me, isn’t going to help me.
But easier said than done after a bad work day!
I tend to get angry at myself and I also get super flippant or my evil English sense of humour comes out. It doesn’t always go down well, especially in a foreign country. The Germans love our black humour, but don’t always understand it - especially when it’s directed at them. My current dentist is a bit perplexed by my evil quips, but so far has mostly laughed. I do get the occasional “it wasn’t that bad, was it?” which makes me feel a bit rotten, because it wasn’t (so far). So I have to keep reminding myself not to let my flippancy come out too much and try and show a bit of gratitude at regular intervals.
As I said, I’m angry at myself and the situation I’ve got myself in - for a thousand reasons. But I would really try not to project it on to my dentist or his team.

 

[thisisme]

Thanks, JaySee19. My dentist is a nice guy but the more I go there, the more I see his ego. I’ve seen it in the past but this time was the most frustrating. I came in for a redo filling. He agreed to it and then did a 180 at the appointment about sending me to a specialist because there obviously can’t be anything wrong with his amazing filling work. Specialists and scans are expensive. This tooth was fine before he touched it and he doesn’t see a crack, so I didn’t understand why I had to practically beg for a re-filling. I paid over 1k already... the very least he could do is refill it. If it doesn’t work, fine, I’ll see a specialist but let’s rule out a bad filling.

 

[JaySee19]

Yeh, I can understand ego problems. It’s terrifying how many people just can’t admit they’re not perfect. And I can see the financial aspect too - no wonder you were angry!
Fortunately with living in Germany we don’t have as many of those financial issues. Fillings are covered by basic health insurance. It’s the crowns and stuff that get expensive.
Hope things have settled now and the tooth is happy with its new filling.

 

[thisisme]

So I had my ortho appointment and asking about Invisalign really threw them a curveball but he was nice about it. I kept apologizing. He says he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get the bite 100% with Invisalign but can align the teeth. He said he can get the bite really close and will keep trying. I know it won’t be perfection but I’m not comfortable with metal arches behind my teeth (I practically want to rip off a necklace and feel like I’d die with braces and metal arches). I know it’s a big decision and a big cost and maybe I should go with regular braces to be safe, but there is just something about it that makes me really uneasy. Being an adult is hard.

The worst part was this scan that I had to smile really big for and they have a damn mirror there. First time I really saw my teeth in YEARS. I don’t like what I see. ?

Invisalign makes the cost $6200 or $5890 if you pay in full (that’s $500 more than ceramic), and I paid in full today. So I’m not sure if that’s normal but I guess I’m getting Invisalign. My Invisalign scan is over lunch next week.

I just hope I made the right decision. I’m scared my teeth will come out even more messed up and he’ll be like shoulda done regular braces. My biggest concern is aesthetics. My bite has been off for 32 years and it doesn’t bother me but I just want straight teeth. I paid so I guess it’s happening. I feel like the commitment will be tough at first but just stick to snacks at meal times (ie have that cookie at lunch if you REALLY want it), brush and put back it in. I just really want a straight smile and he says he can achieve that with Invisalign. Maybe I’m crazy but if he can pull off a straight smile with Invasalign on my teeth, he’ll want to show off his work to everyone because it’ll be no easy feat. I feel like I have the worst teeth in the world.

I’m still not telling anyone. I’ll probably tell people when I get my first trays and when I put them in and have a lisp. That’ll be fun, and I hear the plastic cuts you up pretty good the first week or so, but hey, pick your poison.

Does anyone think I’m crazy for doing this? (like going for the maybe 95% instead of the 100?)

 

[thisisme]

Last year at this time I had not seen a dentist in 16 years. I had my first appt. on Aug 1, 2019.

And this week, I voluntarily sat in two dental chairs and paid for orthodontic treatment. What a crazy year this has been.

Nobody will ever know the struggle I faced and the challenges along the way battling this phobia. Everyone on here should be proud of themselves. This phobia is something a lot of people don’t understand. I honestly thought I would die before I ever let a dentist look in my mouth and then I feared that when I die, a medical examiner may look in my mouth, and even that freaked me out. I’m so happy I’m moving forward and although I’m really scared, I’m ready to not be ashamed of my teeth and smile anymore.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Thisisme,

You are so resilient and really having quite a year of progress !! I know its not easy with constant work and many dental appts and issues here and there . and curveballs thrown at you. Hope things get situated with the filling . honestly hate when they refer to specialists.. sure they know what they are doing and great .. had a few great specialists.. but... it is time and money.. so can totally understand the frustration at referal when you just want to get the filling fixed. Before you know it you will be on the other side of the braces Great job on stepping forward towards your dream!!

 

[thisisme]

Thisisme,

You are so resilient and really having quite a year of progress !! I know its not easy with constant work and many dental appts and issues here and there . and curveballs thrown at you. Hope things get situated with the filling . honestly hate when they refer to specialists.. sure they know what they are doing and great .. had a few great specialists.. but... it is time and money.. so can totally understand the frustration at referal when you just want to get the filling fixed. Before you know it you will be on the other side of the braces Great job on stepping forward towards your dream!!

Aw thank you! I’m chewing on the side just fine. Granted, I haven’t tried to make the pain happen but it hasn’t happened randomly and I did have some crunchy Cheetos earlier. I don’t want to create more problems, so I’m not testing it. I just hope I made the right decision with Invisalign. I know I would have eventually gotten used to braces but they just freak me out. If you knew me in real life, you know I can’t commit to anything. And committing to metal in my mouth for 26 months?! You’re kidding, haha. But I just want straight teeth so badly, and if he can get the bite close, that’s cool too. Maybe I should have just bit the bullet to do something I know would be perfect (and $500 less) but I don’t regret my decision right now. I have watched a few videos of complex cases and they turned out great.

If anyone is reading my journal, you have to do what feels right to you and you have to go at your own pace. I hope I still feel the same when I start treatment.

This will be my ortho in three years presenting his award for my complex case: ??

Invisalign scan next week you guys. This is getting real!

 

[thisisme]

I’ve been thinking again. It’s never a good thing when I think. I’m worrying about all the things that can go wrong during treatment... fillings falling out or my deep filings needing root canals or extracting my wisdom teeth (which I’m too afraid to bring up, haha). I feel like orthodontics can awaken a sleeping baby. I really want this and truthfully, I need it. I’ve been doing a lot of research on open bites since I found out that’s what I had, and they are not good. I’ve always had a slight lisp... (so much my teacher suggested I see a speech pathologist and that person told my mom I was fine) and I only chew on my back teeth. If Invisalign can get it corrected and he says it could... at least almost fully corrected, it could be life changing. Would my slight lisp be gone?! That’s kinda terrifying because I kind of like it. Haha.

I need to stop googling but I guess when you make a 5k purchase (I put $4790 on my card and I’m afraid to look at it), you want to be informed, but I need to save my questions for my ortho. I have another appointment on Tuesday and I think I’ll get to see my completed new smile, which is exciting. I’m regretting paying in full because what if the model of my new teeth is horrible? But I guess if it is, I’ll demand my money back or fight it with my credit card company. Haha. I shouldn’t have paid anything until I saw that, but I saw my teeth that day and I really need this. It’s a legit practice, he has decades of experience, everyone there seems really nice... they aren’t going to screw me over.

Anyway my big concern are how my deep fillings will hold up. I really hope I don’t need fillings or root canals during treatment as that’ll mess up my trays. One day at a time, I guess.

I did realize what I like about Invisalign though. It’s the technology. Braces to me feel archaic and I know they work... they’ve been proven to work for decades but gluing metal to your teeth seems really old school to me. I’m a tech savvy person and it’s kinda exciting to use technology to see and straighten your smile.

As a side note, my injection spot from that filling is still sore but it really didn’t bother me going in, so that’s good!

 

[JaySee19]

I think many of us ”phobics” overthink. We think our teeth are in a worse state than they actually are (before the first appointment). We think every twinge is going to be a root canal minimum, and maybe an extraction. We overthink every appointment for weeks in advance (well at least days!) and get ourselves completely worked up - the list goes on.
Your guy has experience and I’m sure he doesn’t want to set himself up to fail. You want this and as far as I can see the main criterium for success is your compliance and participation. So what can go wrong?
I still think you are extraordinarily brave doing this. I can’t imagine voluntarily doing anything at the dentists that isn’t medically required. On the other hand if your teeth are all over the place it will help to keep them clean and ultimately healthy if they’re straight. So you’re definitely doing a very good thing!

 

[thisisme]

I can say with almost 100% that the new filing fixed the problem I’ve been having. I’ve been getting a bit riskier by the day with eating and have felt no sharp pain. I even decided to be brave and do a test by biting down on something that would have caused it in the past and nothing.

I’m happy he refilled it but also happy I was able to stand up for myself and get it refilled.

I keep watching Invisalign videos and familiarizing myself with the process. I haven’t told anyone. I want to wait until the scan and when they order them. Maybe I’ll even just try wearing them until people notice. The rubber bands will be a giveaway... though depending on their placement, they aren’t always that visible. Attachments are noticeable too close up but way less noticeable than braces. It still seems crazy that I’m seeing an orthodontist now. Tuesday is my scan. Hopefully it goes well.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

Thisisme,

I hope your scan goes well Tuesday too glad that the new filling fixed your problem and you haven't felt any sharp pain!!

One of my best friends has had invisilign almost 2 years now. personally I could not tell myself, she was self conscous about it but I don't think others can tell too much I think they really are less noticeable than braces.

 

[thisisme]

Sitting in the orthodontist chair. Well one of the many chairs here. It’s kind of fun. They have dental chairs in the hallways, in glass rooms, in the center with TVs. They just finished my scan. It wasn’t the best feeling but doable. I gagged once. I think it’s because my tongue was misplaced and then the scanner came and I threw my tongue in the back of my throat and gagged myself. Other than that, it was fine. The ortho is very pleasant. I’ve never shown a picture of my real teeth on here but I just took a picture of the scan to share here (no judgment please). Honestly, I was expecting them to look a lot worse. They aren’t great and I hate them still, but when you look at a million teeth videos online, you see all different kinds.

I’m waiting for the ortho to get back... but I guess this is the beginning of my straight teeth journey. Wish me luck everyone! ? <- me in 26 months.

ETA: They came back to scan more areas. I hope he doesn’t come back and say it’s too complicated for Invisalign. I’d be heartbroken. ? I can definitely see the open bite that I never knew I had. How amazing it would be to eat like a human being. Haha.

 

[JaySee19]

Another step taken! Well done, you!

 

[frostgirl]

Well done! Fingers crossed that Invisalign is suitable for you ?

 

[thisisme]

Thanks everyone. He just came back and scanned a bit and said he’s sending it off to Invisalign and they and he will work out a plan and design the trays. So weird that this is actually happening. I paid all up front so that I couldn’t back down. He said it’ll be ready in 3-4 weeks. The next time I go in, it’ll be attachments and trays. Not sure I’m ready for the pain but hopefully it’s only bad for a short period of time and I adjust. I’m so ready for straight teeth, though!

I don’t know if it’s weird that he seems to do everything besides the Xrays. He has done the pictures and the scanning. I was under the impression that the techs do that but I kinda like it being just him so far.

Still haven’t told anyone. At this point I’ll wait until I pick up the trays hahaha.

 

[Spider]

Just caught up! So, I laughed when I read that you found the cure for dental anxiety- anger. I can relate It sucks that your dentist has such an ego though and was resistant to refill that tooth. So is this the same tooth that had a small filling but then you had pain with crunchy foods?? I really hope the new filling has fixed it for good!! Also, I am so envious that you took the leap to get invisaline!!! Your teeth really aren't that bad at all and I bet they'll be able to shift them around a bit to lessen the open bite and straighten things up! I've thought about getting invisaline, but I also worry that my bite is too weird (crossbite) and I'd have to get "traditional" braces in the end and I've worried the same, that shifting my teeth around will cause more issues. It's just the dental anxiety talking though, looking for worse case scenarios. Everything moves slowly enough that it'll be okay

 

[thisisme]

Just caught up! So, I laughed when I read that you found the cure for dental anxiety- anger. I can relate It sucks that your dentist has such an ego though and was resistant to refill that tooth. So is this the same tooth that had a small filling but then you had pain with crunchy foods?? I really hope the new filling has fixed it for good!! Also, I am so envious that you took the leap to get invisaline!!! Your teeth really aren't that bad at all and I bet they'll be able to shift them around a bit to lessen the open bite and straighten things up! I've thought about getting invisaline, but I also worry that my bite is too weird (crossbite) and I'd have to get "traditional" braces in the end and I've worried the same, that shifting my teeth around will cause more issues. It's just the dental anxiety talking though, looking for worse case scenarios. Everything moves slowly enough that it'll be okay

Haha, anger solves a lot of problems. Even at work. If I’m sad, I just get angry. Problem solved! It is that tooth that hurt with crunchy foods! After the filling, it is 100% better. The new filling fixed it. I was even risky and tested it, but I figured I should before starting Invisalign treatment. It’s taken everything in me not to call and say “told ya so!”

I am very worried how my large fillings will handle Invisalign, but I had the same fear with regular braces and read that regular braces apply more force. It’s something I really want and sometimes you just gotta take the leap and hope for the best. I remind myself if anything does happen, I am brave and can take care of it. I can do this. I was actually relatively calm and cool in the ortho office. Like I feel like I got this. Kinda. I’ll let you know how I feel the day before attachments and starting treatment.

The only way to know for sure is to see an orthodontist. He was a bit hesitant about Invisalign (I was hesitant about ceramic, haha). Said he can straighten but the bite would be tough, but he said he’ll keep going and refining if needed. I am worried about pain and discomfort and my teeth falling out, haha, but they are healthy now... that’s what I keep telling myself. Now is the right time. I can do this. No backing out really since I paid. That was about the only way I could motivate myself but handing over my card was tough. Haha.

I’m still unsure how to tell people. Part of me just may wait until I get them on but the part of me is like maybe I should tell my parents before. We’ll see. I have like 3-4 weeks, but it is for real happening.

Thanks for your support!