Well...I'm baaaaaaaaaaack

[Marty]

Her website is healthjourneys.com. The one I am using now is targeted for panic and the title is Panic Attacks by Belleruth Naparstek. Another title I have is Relaxation & Wellness- Health Journeys by Belleruth Naparstek. The music is very calming and her voice is very reassuring and convincing. I have been through a lot of "relaxation" tapes and CD's over the years and hers are without a doubt (from my point of view) the best.

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

I couldn't run for two reasons that I can think of....one I think it would be tough to just get up while the dentist is working on me and leave..and two one of the components of Panic Disorder is that we worry a great deal about what other people will think of us. We go to great lengths to hide our panic attacks and become quite good at it. We fear if we show our panic that will be viewed as "crazy." So we are kind of like ducks on a lake..from the top, we look calm and peaceful, but under the water we are paddling for our lives. I had to fill the paperwork out for the dentist today...and if I wasn't scared before...the release form would have done it. Reading things like, "I understand that there can be several complications to an extraction, (and then it lists a myriad of negative results) ending with a fractured jaw." OMG I understand that everyone especially doctors are afraid of litigation...but I think they take their CYA too far. This page listed everything you could imagine...and what it came down to, as it said in the last sentence is "I understand that denistry is not an exact science and there can be no guarantee of the end result." Ok...so now I am ready to cancel the appointment.

 

[mikey]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

notice how it said 'could' happen not WILL happen. I have had about 6-8 extractions and they have all gone perfectly. It might help to read over some of the success stories of extractions like

https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/i-survived-it-was-fine.1632/ ( thats a 100% mirror image of my last extraction) -minus the cyst

 

[letsconnect]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Her website is healthjourneys.com. The one I am using now is targeted for panic and the title is Panic Attacks by Belleruth Naparstek. Another title I have is Relaxation & Wellness- Health Journeys by Belleruth Naparstek. The music is very calming and her voice is very reassuring and convincing. I have been through a lot of "relaxation" tapes and CD's over the years and hers are without a doubt (from my point of view) the best.

Thanks a lot for those recommendations!

I had to fill the paperwork out for the dentist today...and if I wasn't scared before...the release form would have done it. Reading things like, "I understand that there can be several complications to an extraction, (and then it lists a myriad of negative results) ending with a fractured jaw." OMG I understand that everyone especially doctors are afraid of litigation...but I think they take their CYA too far. This page listed everything you could imagine...and what it came down to, as it said in the last sentence is "I understand that denistry is not an exact science and there can be no guarantee of the end result." Ok...so now I am ready to cancel the appointment.

Yeah it's very sad that people feel they have to cover their asses to such an extent these days for fear of litigation ... don't let it put you off though, serious complications are extremely rare (let's face it, most household items should carry similar warnings - "warning: this chair/table may cause a fractured jaw in the event of you tripping up or falling over" - actually, the chances of that are probably much much higher ).

I hope you will be able to make it tomorrow - will be thinking of you

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Well....my life just gets more interesting. Had to cancel appointment with dentist, because I was sick all day yesterday...spent most of the day in the loo. The dentist will not see you if they are concerned about a virus...so I am once again in a holding pattern. Just once something is going to be easy and then I will have a stroke.

 

[scaredstiff]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

What a shame you've had to cancel - interesting is not the word I would have used, but never mind. Hope you're feeling better soon and able to make another appointment. Don't worry, next time it will happen.

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

At this point I am at a loss for words...not sure why I chose the word interesting...perhaps bizarre would have been a better choice. The dentist told us to call back next week....when they were sure that I was no longer ill...and they would reschedule. At this point I am trying to take it a day at a time. I know my first task is to get over this bug...or whatever it is. My obsession over my tooth has moved to another area of my body...don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Frustrating...there's a word.

 

[letsconnect]

Sorry to hear about the tummy bug (or norovirus or whatever it might be) - there seem to be outbreaks everywhere at the moment, it seems . I hope you'll be well again soon

 

[mikey]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Lets hope that you get well soon so you can go and get this anxiety out of the way.

 

[scared_to_death]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Wow Marty, I have just read this thread and it's almost like you're telling my story! I have panic disorder and agoraphobia, and I can relate to everything you are talking about. I didn't know the outcome of the thread, and was anxiously reading along hoping that you'd gone to the Dentist and there was a happy ending...but alas, the setback hit. I will be waiting with baited breath to see how things work out with you.

My best friend phoned her Dentist and explained some of my history, and I'm welcome to go there this Saturday. I am ok with the thought of going, but that is right now. I'm always ok with the thought of doing things in the future. Today is Wednesday. Dental appointment Saturday? Ok. I can handle it. Right...until the actual day comes along that is! As you know too well, we are great at changing our minds and making excuses to put things off. That's why my teeth are in such bad shape right now!

I hope that through reading this board, and particularly this thread...I will be able to gather the strength I need to get to the Dentist Saturday. I really wish that, but whether I can follow through with is is another story!

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Though I hate that you suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia...it is nice to know that I am not the only one out here struggling with this seemingly impossible task. Where my story stands is a bit odd. The day after New Year's Day I came down with a stomach flu that just about put me under the table. My original appt. with the dentist was the Thursday after New Years Day and I had to cancel it because I was so sick. Additionally the dentist will not see you if there is a chance you are carrying a virus. So for another five or so days...I have lost count, I was unable to eat anything and was living completely on liquids. I was not getting any sleep to mention, and as you know fatique is a panic trigger. So 2008 has started out with a whimper and not a bang. I am finally getting over the flu and finally had some solid food last night. The odd thing was, that my tooth just stopped hurting completely. Perhaps that was God's way of giving me a break. Although I am thrilled that my tooth no longer hurts, I am now struggling with making another appt. When I was in soooo much pain, I knew that I would have to go no matter how well I did. Now that the pain is gone, my brain is telling me...you don't have to do this right now. Avoidance, another way we try so desperatly to protect ourselves from the dreaded PA.

I very much understand the anticipatory fear as well. But I am so proud of you to make the appointment. I also know how hard it may be for you to go through with it. Our fear is over the top I think then many people's fear. It isn't a fear that rears its ugly head just when we have to go to the dentist, it is a fear that we deal with everyday of our lives. Then we add the fear of the dentist to it and it goes off the scale. Please feel free to keep in touch with me and if I can be of any support to you at all do not hesitate to let me know. Send me a note anytime. I will be praying for all the things you will need on Saturday. A clear mind, a calm body, strength and power. Right now I am in a "take it day at time place." I have been told that perhaps the best way to wade in is to go to the office for a sort of meet and greet session. Have an understanding up front that the Dentist will not do anything on the first visit but a cursory look in the mouth, and a chance to sit and talk with him or her about concerns and fears. Perhaps this will give me a feel for the level of compassion and willingness to work with me as the fear rises and hopefully falls. I went to see a dentist several years ago and explained to him my fear associated with the dentist...and his reply was..."Well that is your problem, not mine, isn't it." Needless to say I never darkened that door again. Please let me know how you are doing, perhaps together you and I can find our way through this journey together. God Bless you.
Marty

 

[Darkzoo]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Marty,

I am off for my first proper appointment at my dentists on Saturday, but it will actually be the fourth time I have visited the surgery. The first time I went on a Sunday when it was closed and had a look around the outside. The second time I phoned and told them I would like to try and come in, the receptionist was very sympathetic and met me at the door, I just went in and sat and talked to her. The third time I actually met the dentist in the waiting room, and when I was ready I went and had a look at the treatment room.

All this was taken at my own pace and I knew at any time I could walk out. I now feel confident enough to let the dentist look at me, but she won't touch until I say she can.

This is not a specialist dentist, just the small practice in my local village, but I think the key has been that I have been upfront with them from the start. If you can open up to people they can surprise you.

And just remember - you are the customer - if anyone does anything you don't like you can get up and walk away. That knowledge can be very empowering.

DZ

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Hi DZ,

It sounds like you have found a great dentist. They have really been wonderful helping you get through the process. Sometimes I wonder if female dentists aren't more compassionate and emphatetic than males....and that is not male bashing. My comfort zone to travel is so limited that I don't have the luxury of meeting many dentists. I have to find someone that is relatively close or I would never get there in the first place. I celebrate your success and the blessing of finding the right person to help you. Thanks so much for the support.
Marty

 

[scared_to_death]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Though I hate that you suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia...it is nice to know that I am not the only one out here struggling with this seemingly impossible task.

Don't worry, I know precisely what you mean! When I read your thread title I couldn't believe how lucky I was to find someone suffering from the same thing I do.

Where my story stands is a bit odd. The day after New Year's Day I came down with a stomach flu that just about put me under the table. My original appt. with the dentist was the Thursday after New Years Day and I had to cancel it because I was so sick. Additionally the dentist will not see you if there is a chance you are carrying a virus. So for another five or so days...I have lost count, I was unable to eat anything and was living completely on liquids. I was not getting any sleep to mention, and as you know fatique is a panic trigger. So 2008 has started out with a whimper and not a bang. I am finally getting over the flu and finally had some solid food last night.

Believe me, I read every word you wrote so I am well acquainted with your story! lol I was hanging onto every word, and as I wasn't paying attention to the dates I thought if I just kept reading I would get to the part where you went to the Dentist, and it was a success! Hopefully, now that you are on the road to recovery you will soon be able to report that you were able to get to an appointment and I can share in your victory!

The odd thing was, that my tooth just stopped hurting completely. Perhaps that was God's way of giving me a break. Although I am thrilled that my tooth no longer hurts, I am now struggling with making another appt. When I was in soooo much pain, I knew that I would have to go no matter how well I did. Now that the pain is gone, my brain is telling me...you don't have to do this right now. Avoidance, another way we try so desperatly to protect ourselves from the dreaded PA. I very much understand the anticipatory fear as well.

My toothache pain has been off and on, and believe me when the pain is gone I am thinking the exact same thing! It's so damn easy to put things off when you have Panic Disorder, it's all about avoiding what you know can trigger it. If you view the appointment as in the future, you can deal with it a lot better, even though it's always in the back of your mind. I guess it's the ostrich complex or something. In theory, I can project into the future and think that I will just have to "suck it up" and go to the Dentist, but the closer the time comes, the more I panic and try to think up reasons why not to go. The tooth pain going away just makes it so much more easier to change our minds! But we both know that we can't avoid it forever, and that's the really scary part. The anticipation of what could happen, what will happen, if we will lose control, etc. is worse than the actual going through the thing we fear, I think, don't you? It has always been that way with me.

But I am so proud of you to make the appointment.

Ummmm, let's not get carried away. I said my friend spoke to her Dentist about making an app. for me. It has yet to be done, although the receptionist told my friend Thurs and Sat were available times. My friend told the receptionist she would get back to her. Yesterday she called to make the app. but got the answering machine and they didn't call back. Today she will phone again, and even though I told her not to rush (LOL! Sound familiar? Typical avoidance tactic) she says she thinks she can get me in for Sat. Suddenly my pain isn't that bad...

I also know how hard it may be for you to go through with it.

Truer words have never been spoken! Today, I feel like I just want to get it over with and I am trying my hardest to be brave (plus I just want the pain to stop) but I know the closer the time comes, I will really start to panic. I am already thoroughly obsessed with thinking about it constantly...knowing that I have to go, and there is not putting it off for a long time anymore, like I've been doing all these past years. I can really get myself worked up about it...I was bawling like a baby last week when I finally confronted the fact that I would have to see a Dentist and that the toothache wasn't going away this time. Thank goodness I found this site! I had entered some searches into Google but wasn't coming up with anything helpful, then I changed search words and found this place. I can't believe how much it is helping me. I'm amazed at what one can find on the Internet. Years ago I would be facing all of this terror alone.

Our fear is over the top I think then many people's fear. It isn't a fear that rears its ugly head just when we have to go to the dentist, it is a fear that we deal with everyday of our lives.

You said something in another post that really hit home with me. You said we have a way of hiding our fear, and acting calm on the outside. I can't tell you how much I relate to this! People are stunned to learn I suffer from this disorder. It's like "You? But you seem so calm!" If only they could feel what I'm feeling inside. People really don't know a lot about this disorder, and I wish they could sometimes step into my skin and feel the emotions and the sheer terror. It's just impossible to explain to someone who hasn't gone through it. I've built my world around avoiding any situations where I might get a panic attack simply because it's happened so often and I have to flee.

Send me a note anytime. I will be praying for all the things you will need on Saturday. A clear mind, a calm body, strength and power.

Thank you so very much, you don't know how much this means to me! I wish the same things for you, in order to continue on your journey to get to the Dentist!

Right now I am in a "take it day at time place."

As am I. It's the only way we can handle it. Baby steps, my psychiatrist calls it. I know we can do it, and it's important that we not put it off for too much longer. I am going to try to focus on how relieved I will be to finally take the step, and I hope you do the same. Remember that the anticipation is often worse than the actual doing.

I have been told that perhaps the best way to wade in is to go to the office for a sort of meet and greet session. Have an understanding up front that the Dentist will not do anything on the first visit but a cursory look in the mouth, and a chance to sit and talk with him or her about concerns and fears. Perhaps this will give me a feel for the level of compassion and willingness to work with me as the fear rises and hopefully falls.

That sounds like a good plan! I bet it would do a lot towards helping you get a feel for the office, and most importantly, you can relate to him or her how frightened you are, and that you suffer with Panic Disorder. I think a lot of the hiding of our disorder is what sometimes makes it worse, so the talk you have with the Dentist would really, really go far in helping you take the next steps! Try it!

I went to see a dentist several years ago and explained to him my fear associated with the dentist...and his reply was..."Well that is your problem, not mine, isn't it."

Oh my god, how cruel can some people be? It's worse when they are in an occupation that we expect comes with compassion and understanding. What an idiot he was! I believe that your next experience will turn out much better, with someone sympathetic to your specific needs. There is no way that could happen twice in a row! And remember, even if it did you have every right as a human being to be treated with the utmost of respect. You would simply have to walk away again! But I know deep in my heart that this will not be your experience this time. Have faith that there are some good people left, we have been shown that many times over just on this message board alone!

Please let me know how you are doing, perhaps together you and I can find our way through this journey together.

Thank you once again Marty, and I will keep you up to date with what is happening with my Dental adventures. Tomorrow I will find out when my app. will be. *shivers* Until later...much love and kind thoughts are being sent your way.

 

[letsconnect]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

I had entered some searches into Google but wasn't coming up with anything helpful, then I changed search words and found this place. I can't believe how much it is helping me. I'm amazed at what one can find on the Internet.

Apologies for hijacking this thread - scared_to_death, I was wondering what search words you were using so that I can maybe try and get them to rank higher in Google and make it easier for people to find the site? thanks !

 

[Marty]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Marty here. I also tried every word you can imagine in Google to find support. I finally just put in....."Help, I have panic disorder and am terrified of the dentist." I guess by just putting in enough words...Google will pick up what you really need. This is a super site. There are so many of us out here that are terrified beyond description and feel so alone. I am so thankful I found the site. Still haven't had the courage to make an appointment, but I did fill out the scarey paperwork and will probably have my hubby drop it off. I want the dentist and his staff to read the paperwork before I make the appt. since I have made it clear that this is the "impossible dream" for me. Then all I have to do is get the courage up to make that first appt. It is kind of funny, if the dentist had been able to see me that first day when I was in so much pain, I would probably have already walked into the office. Then I got sooooo sick with the flu that I couldn't go.... which was another delay. And now that the pain has diminished I find myself shoving it farther and farther back in my mind. At this point I find myself taking it a day at a time. Maybe I am just waiting for the angel of courage to swoop down and take my fear away. From my lips to God's ears.

 

[steffi]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Marty and Letsconnect,

Last night I was on a Google search, "sedation dentistry" and also "dentistry and Halcion"; this site came up pretty early on one of them.

Steffi

 

[letsconnect]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

I've opened a new thread here about search words so that this thread won't go too far off-topic :

What search terms did you use?

OK, this popped up in a different thread where members were saying they couldn't find this site with the search words they originally used in Google... In order for sites to show in the Google top 10, the site (or pages on the site) has to be "optimized" to show up for specific words/terms. It...

www.dentalfearcentral.org

The anticipation of what could happen, what will happen, if we will lose control, etc. is worse than the actual going through the thing we fear, I think, don't you? It has always been that way with me.

So true!

 

[scared_to_death]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Apologies for hijacking this thread - scared_to_death, I was wondering what search words you were using so that I can maybe try and get them to rank higher in Google and make it easier for people to find the site? thanks!

I think it was "fear of dentists" or "fear" + "dentist" but I don't really recall. I tried a few variations. It wasn't until I entered dental phobia that I came across this wonderful site.

 

[scared_to_death]

Re: terrifed of dentists and have panic disorder

Well, I have an appointment for Saturday morning at 8am. I'm practically jumping out of my skin with fear, but I do want to get it over with. I will report what happens if I survive. (Just kidding, although I may as well be heading to the electric chair, I am so terrified.) Dead woman walking! LOL