When you email dentists, what do you say?

[devious_raccoon]

Like many of us on this forum, I'm terrified of making that first dreaded phone call. It's been 10(?) years since my last appointment. I don't even know what to say, but I've heard people have had luck emailing first, in an effort to calm their fears.

I haven't even picked a dentist yet, but I'm getting ready to make the appointment. I'm sick and tired of the fear and shame.

 

[Ava]

Hi Devious,

Im the same as you, I haven't been to the dentist in years but after finding one I liked the sound of on this site I plucked up the courage to email them last week!

I basically said that I had had a look at their website and noticed they dealth with phobic people. I explained that I hadn't been to a dentist in a long time and that I was scared stiff. Finally I asked them to contact me if they had any available appointments coming up.

I had a lovely reply from the receptionist saying that they had an apointment the following week (Tue ) and reassuring me that they were used to dealing with scared people. Because I had such a nice reply I was then abl to phone them to confirm I wanted the appoimtment but I coudn't have contemplated phoning without having that intial little email exchange first so I totally know where you are coming from.

Good Luck!

 

[Geraint]

Hi Devious-Raccoon,

When in June last year I moved from Leicester to York, and had to change dentist's I wrote first to my new dentist - which I found thanks to this website. I stated the letter by introducing myself and telling the dentist about my history - the bad experience I had had as a child. In the second paragraph I went on to discuss the areas/types of dental treatment that worried me, and why they worry me. ie the drill having a tooth drilled - I am afraid of the drill I don't like the noise or sound and am afraid of it hurting. In the third paragraph I went on to discuss how I would like the dentist to help me - speaking to me, reassuring me and explaining the treatments to me. If you look in the support column around May/ June time last year or in my threads you can see a copy of the letter I sent. I would be good if you filled in the dental fear survey that is available on this website and sent that with your email / letter. I have used this approach twice, when I recently moved from Leicester to York and ten years ago when I moved from North Wales to Leicester. On both occasions my dentist's have commented on how helpful the letter has been to them in assessing my fears and concerns and the sort of care I need. You may want to post a copy of your letter / email on here before you send it so similar minded people can let you know if they think it is good and any improvements you could make.
Best wishes, keep in touch.

 

[devious_raccoon]

I'm already feeling better about this dentist thing. I think I found a good dentist online today. I'm not even sure if she accepts my insurance; one step at a time!

I'm going to search for that letter you mentioned. I'm glad I asked, I had no idea such a letter was ever posted on this site.

By the way, I posted my story and a dentist referral request on citydata.com. I got quite a few sympathetic responses that way

 

[devious_raccoon]

Well, I emailed my first dentist. It only took me, what, 3 weeks to get up the courage?? Here's what I said:

Hello,
I am writing because it has been about 10 years since I have seen a dentist and I am very fearful. I am now 30 years old. I have have been doing some research and have come across several good reviews about your offices. I would like to know if any of your dentists "specialize" in patients like me who are simply terrified. Just the thought of scheduling an appointment is a BIG deal for me.

Growing up I had what I consider to be a bad dentist, mostly because he wasn't gentle and once or twice filled small cavities without novocain. His hygienists would berate me on every visit, and there's nothing more I dreaded than my 6 month visit. I also had a negative experience when I had my wisdom teeth removed (dry socket.) Unfortunately I seem to attract dentists/oral surgeons that are not understanding of patients who are very scared.

At this time I am ashamed of my smile and worry about my teeth incessantly. I have one cracked canine and a rear molar with a hole in it. I am ready to make the first step and come for a visit.

I worry about everything from the pain to The Lecture. I know dentists are only trying to help by giving The Lecture, but it doesn't work on people like me; it only keeps me away

I truly appreciate you taking the time to read this, and I hope one of your dentists has a genuine affinity for people like myself.

Regards,
MyName




I'm anxious to get a response. I teared up a bit just emailing her. I can't imagine how I will feel on my visit. I think I will be one of those poor souls that needs Vicodin for a cleaning! One of my cavities has started to hurt just a bit, but even the slightest mouth pain is intolerable for me. I need to deal with this ASAP.

Now I wait.

 

[devious_raccoon]

I am so glad I emailed about 5 more dentists after I posted yesterday. You can learn a lot from their response! One dentist emailed me back today. The receptionist's answer was very curt, the "yes we'd be happy to help you when is a good time to call you to schedule an appointment?" NEXT!! If I take the time to tell you how scared I am that I am looking for a dentist who will take the time to explain why they are a good fit for people as scared as I am. Period.

I'm not asking for too much, am I?

 

[brit]

I am so glad I emailed about 5 more dentists after I posted yesterday. You can learn a lot from their response! One dentist emailed me back today. The receptionist's answer was very curt, the "yes we'd be happy to help you when is a good time to call you to schedule an appointment?" NEXT!! If I take the time to tell you how scared I am that I am looking for a dentist who will take the time to explain why they are a good fit for people as scared as I am. Period.

I'm not asking for too much, am I?

If the reply is done by the receptionist, you shouldn't expect miracles..they just don't get it often. It's not a good sign and is not the sort of response you want, but at least it is a response. Emails are often ignored if sent to dentists with no expressed desire to help anxious patients.

At least she has asked for a time at which she can call you so you don't have to make the call yourself..that's a positive.
You could email back asking how they can help and maybe ask if you can pay for a 'chat only' appointment in the first instance or whatever else it is that you want to know to encourage you to go along. Do you want sedation or nitrous for instance? Good luck let's hope some other replies are more encouraging...don't write it off though...how did you choose this one - does it appear to meet your criteria? It is best to only contact ones which appear to be a good fit. Congratulations for taking this step - it must have been hard to do..remember you are only an email address to them even though to you, you feel like you have given away a bit of yourself (which you have - they just view it differently).