Call or Email or just go back to being in Denial?

[odette]

Re: Soldiering Through the First Contact with the Dentist (nothing graffic to trigger anyone)

So glad you reported back...I was getting worried about you and congratulations - that's fantastic progress...babysteps are fine but that was much more than babysteps.
Have you considered taking a blanket to make yourself feel more secure...a lot of people have reported that this helps them feel less vulnerable.

What other things have you agreed with the dentist to help you?

Salut Brit,

Well we didn’t get very hard in regards to treatment.

What really helped was:

1: Having someone with me in the waiting room (with me the whole time) to keep me from getting wrapped up in all the impending doom thoughts my imagination was whipping up, plus keeping me distracted from the sounds and smells of the office. I should note here that the dentist purposefully scheduled my appointment in the early evening when it was not as busy.

2: Meeting the dentist in his office instead of meeting him in an operating theatre so I didn’t have to see any tools or the chair on first contact, but my first impression was based in a setting of a peaceful office.

3: Having someone there right beside me while the staff were having me do the x-rays. This was the most difficult part of the whole experience and I really struggled and fought hard to get through it. But the dentist and the staff were kind and empathetic enough to let my friend and I have control of the situation in so much as they adjusted their normal operating procedures to accommodate my needs.

And I needed someone right beside me holding my hand as the assistant placed the x-ray film trays in my mouth. Chris literally had to support me through the whole process of the assistant putting the film inside my mouth, and trying to get me to sit still enough (I was shaking and gagging and kicking at the equipment) for the picture to be taken, at which point the assistant and Chris sprinted from the room for the required 2-3 seconds and then Chris sprinted back in right when it was finished to hold me and calm me down.

As for a blanket, that's probably a good idea but to me that would be diminishing, but I did have my UN barret to hold on to instead since that had comforted me during the worst of the genocide when I would hold on to it then.

 

[blackhawkmedic]

Re: Soldiering Through the First Contact with the Dentist (nothing graffic to trigger anyone)

I have also found out that the oral sedation does not really work on me as I am on anti anxitey meds for my PTSD anyway.So when my Dentist who I really like wrote me a script for xanax I almost laughed at him but I took it before i went and i think that it helped maybe a little but really what helped it that i know my dentist outside of the dental setting.I was still terrified and whiteknuckled the chair the whole time and we still had to take breaks about every 10min but i made it trough the whole procedure.I am very proud of my self but still need to go back in Jan to get a deep clean and that terrifies me still.but I have 2 months to get ready for that appt.

I am very proud of you for doing what you have done so far keep up the good work!
Jenny

 

[odette]

Getting sedated to get calmed down?

How do people feel about this method?

Apart from the first question, let me explain my motivation for asking.


I can only speak for myself and my depressive-anxiety based co-diagnosis (dental phobia plus PTSD) so here goes.

I’ve risked a little bit and told some people (only tight friends, some army, some not) about my phobia and a lot of the one-off responses I get revolve around, “why can’t they just put you out?” or “they’ll give you gas and you won’t feel a thing”.

It’s hard to know how to respond to these comments because my phobia does not revolve around the fear of pain.

In truth, part of my problem is being sedated. As much as I’m terrified of the dentist working on me (I’m not afraid of the pain, I’m afraid of being hurt) I’m actually very terrified of the process of being chemically incapacitated since it would disable my very well trained fight/flight response, and yet, I know if I come to a dentist straight off the street as is with my PTSD, I’ll flip into defensive mode and react to the dentist in a very hard fight/flight way.

So I feel like I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t. It's terribly frustrating!

I don’t know what to do in this case. I mean, if I had it my way, I wouldn’t even want Novocain since then my body can’t sense if it’s being hurt and I can’t protect myself. I want to be 100% aware of what’s going on since I feel that would be a better way of combating my fear of dentists than laying helpless and passed out in a chair.

 

[swansong]

Re: Getting sedated to get calmed down?

Hey there Odette,

Going to put in my two cents' worth on this one for you....

Firstly, I know exactly what you mean. If you're sedated, you have no say whatsoever in what is done to you, you're literally defenceless against anything. I'm not just talking about dentists here, but things like date-rape drugs and so on. You're out of it, what happens happens. Then the drug wears off and you come round. Now, you "should" be able to trust the dentist to do only stuff that needs doing to improve your health (not going to go into that one in any detail), and clearly if you choose the sedation option you won't be able to remember any of the details of the procedures, gory or otherwise. If you're worried about what the dentist will do, you could always have one of your friends stay in the room with you and take notes or something to make sure that what's being done is in your best interests - in other words, someone who would fight to protect you (if you were out of it) if necessary. I know you trust both your friends so that might be an option, although before I get shot down in flames, I repeat - you should not need to be "protected" like this; but if it works for you, then hey, why not? Just a thought. Any way that can help you through this has to be a good way, right?

I also agree with you about sedation possibly not being the way to get over this phobia; I feel I need to go through this, experience this, and come out the other side knowing I've made a positive move forward by my own choice, not by being knocked out. I've managed to get through the deep cleaning somehow without the sedation and now I feel that to go that route for the next part would be "wimping out", I will be really disappointed with myself if I end up having to do that. So my appointment is on Monday, no sedation, for one or two root canals, core build ups with pins, crowns, and a couple other things - and I'm determined to go through with it. I need to get this over and know that I can do it, in order to get on and get past this. OK, maybe I've chosen the hard way, but it feels right for me and now I'm just fed up with the waiting, it's taking forever to get to Monday! No way I'm going to go without the Novocain though (I'm not THAT brave), I mean, that'll be up to you but I'm sure if someone did something you didn't like, you'd still be able to punch them or whatever even if your mouth was numb! (Side note - have to smile at myself here, I just wondered if it was legal here in Texas to carry a concealed weapon into the dentists office!). Hey, gotta smile sometimes, right? As Dr Rich says, find the humor.....

What it comes down to is that only you know which option feels right for you, and what you will need to do in order to carry it through. I don't think I could have got this far without my hypnotherapy, I wasn't sure about it at first but now I can see that it's definitely having a positive effect. As usual, I hope at least a bit of the above will help you somehow - take care of yourself and keep posting, ok?

 

[Dr. Shirley]

Re: Getting sedated to get calmed down?

Hello Odette,

I'm glad you brought up the topic. I'll share below in red font.

I’ve risked a little bit and told some people (only tight friends, some army, some not) about my phobia it's wonderful that you are willing to share what is going on internally for you and begin to evaluate who you feel you can share your feelings safely with and who is not able to understand as deeply as you would like them to on this topic of conversation. and a lot of the one-off responses I get revolve around, “why can’t they just put you out?” or “they’ll give you gas and you won’t feel a thing”.

It’s hard to know how to respond to these comments because my phobia does not revolve around the fear of pain. is your fear around the loss of control? or being judged by the dentist?

In truth, part of my problem is being sedated. As much as I’m terrified of the dentist working on me (I’m not afraid of the pain, I’m afraid of being hurt) I want to understand better what you mean here.... are you afraid of being hurt emotionally?, physically? during the procedure? after the procedure? I’m actually very terrified of the process of being chemically incapacitated since it would disable my very well trained fight/flight response, and yet, I know if I come to a dentist straight off the street as is with my PTSD, I’ll flip into defensive mode and react to the dentist in a very hard fight/flight way.

So I feel like I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t. It's terribly frustrating!

I don’t know what to do in this case. I mean, if I had it my way, I wouldn’t even want Novocain since then my body can’t sense if it’s being hurt and I can’t protect myself. I want to be 100% aware of what’s going on since I feel that would be a better way of combating my fear of dentists than laying helpless and passed out in a chair. this is very understandable and although sedation is a great option, I do believe that being able to slowly build trust with the dentist through the dental procedure by being awake is the way to overcome the phobia. Because if you do IV or conscious sedation this time, you may feel that you can only go through dental work IF you are sedated. and the phobia still is with you until the next time you get sedated. The process of going through the dental appointments awake without sedation allows you to learn for yourself that YOU ARE in control. That you can speak what you are feeling and that the dentist will Hear you and adjust accordingly. As swansong, had mentioned in her experience of going through the cleaning awake and alert, she was able to tell the hygienist how she was feeling, and the hygienist adjusted. This is a GREAT way of building trust in your dentist/ hygienist. it is a step by step process. go slowly. and all will be ok. it begins with finding a dentist that you feel comfortable with when you are just talking with them. are they kind and understanding when you are just having a conversation with them.

so listen to your gut, and if you don't like the idea of sedation, then go with the route of going slowly at YOUR pace, being awake and alert to be able to speak how you are doing and request what you want.

as far as "novacaine" goes, this is a 99.999999% need for the procedure to go smoothly. Remember that the novacaine, allows the tooth to sleep. You will not be asleep. only the tooth will be asleep.

let us know your thoughts odette.

we're standing with you.
All will be well,
Dr. Shirley

 

[brit]

Re: Getting sedated to get calmed down?

I know you probably only said it to help explain your 'control dilemma' but trust me local anaesthetic (novocaine) will not impair your ability to retain control and defend yourself in the slightest. When I say I like to be 'in the moment' and not sedated - I still mean being 'comfortably numb'.
Dental treatment is not the massive ordeal your military experiences have led you to believe it is..you may want to be sedated just for any complex surgical stuff such as wisdom teeth removal (many non-phobics would also choose this) but for the more routine stuff, go at your own pace and just with TLC and local anaesthetic.
Going this latter route though, you have to build a relationship of trust with the dentist... so you do have to get good vibes from them which I recall you sort of did. You agree to try a simple procedure with full veto control and a generous time slot, they honour what was agreed and give you a manageable experience - so you feel they have earned some trust and you give them a bit more and try another similar procedure and so on. Take it as gradually as you feel comfortable with. What is likely to happen is that as you get used to 'non-coercive' treatment, you want to get more and more done, more quickly.....until you reach your goal a healthy painfree mouth.

Sedated or unsedated or a mixture of both.... is your choice though..you are in control. Also with sedation, i/v sedation will give you a more predictable 'out of it' experience than just oral sedation which can be more hit and miss.

 

[odette]

Re: Getting sedated to get calmed down?

I've included my notations in black text.

Hello Odette,



I’ve risked a little bit and told some people (only tight friends, some army, some not) about my phobia it's wonderful that you are willing to share what is going on internally for you and begin to evaluate who you feel you can share your feelings safely with and who is not able to understand as deeply as you would like them to on this topic of conversation. and a lot of the one-off responses I get revolve around, “why can’t they just put you out?” or “they’ll give you gas and you won’t feel a thing”.

It's been a strange process sharing how I'm feeling with a bunch of guys who are totally hardcore all the time. I know they kinda don't get what I'm talking about but someone did say, "I can tell by your eyes that you're really scared" and then I guess it doesn't matter what the fear is about: fear is fear, right?

And we have a saying in the military: "fear is being afraid but rolling out with the convoy, anyway"

So I guess I'm trying really hard to get into that state of mind, where I admit that I'm afraid and I admit that I have a problem to deal with, but at least I'm moving forward instead of remaining in denial.

And at least I don't have to remain in denial about it in so much that I have to lie to people when they notice me wince since the "big secret" (tough Odette is afraid of the dentist) is out there, cuz I hate lying to people when it was so obvious that I was having trouble eating. And it sucked having to lie to people who just wanted to help me, but they couldn't employ their help since I wouldn't even admit to a problem in the first place.

It sucks that people know, but it sucked more when they didn't...does that make any sense?


It’s hard to know how to respond to these comments because my phobia does not revolve around the fear of pain. is your fear around the loss of control? or being judged by the dentist?

I'm not afraid of being judged by the dentist, I could care less. I mean, I don't believe dentists sit around after hours drinking beer and passing around pictures of people's teeth to compare who's the worst. Nor do I really believe that a dentist would care if someone's teeth happened were the worst they'd seen because it's their job and by going into dentistry, they knew they'd see bad teeth so it's just routine to them.

My fear if I can try to put it into words relates to a fear of what happens if i relinquish control (of my body) to a dentist, I don't want to be acted upon by a stranger who could hurt me. It's like that saying by Krystalline Kraus, "The mouth is a tender place." And mine's even more tender because my teeth are screwed up, so I don't want anyone poking and drilling in there anyway. I'm super protective of my mouth or get defensive if anyone even gets close to it right now, because I know it's damaged and I want to protect it.

In truth, part of my problem is being sedated. As much as I’m terrified of the dentist working on me (I’m not afraid of the pain, I’m afraid of being hurt) I want to understand better what you mean here.... are you afraid of being hurt emotionally?, physically? during the procedure? after the procedure? I’m actually very terrified of the process of being chemically incapacitated since it would disable my very well trained fight/flight response, and yet, I know if I come to a dentist straight off the street as is with my PTSD, I’ll flip into defensive mode and react to the dentist in a very hard fight/flight way.

By this, I'm afraid of being hurt physically by someone; worked on by someone who could potentially hurt me. I see it as being wounded by someone, where no, I'm not being shot from a distance, but someone is very close to my body and hurting me from a very short, intimate distance; like being stabbed or something.

I want to protect myself from harm (which is what I mean when I say I don't want to be hurt) and a dentist can harm me because he/she has a lot of sharp instruments and they are in very close contact to my body and it would be difficult to defend myself; in fact, I feel as if I'd have to just lay there and take it if a dentist were to hurt me.

So, part of me is wondering if I need sedation simply to disable my defense-response to a potential threat (a dentist hurting me), because for the brief time I was in the chair, I was trying to jerk my head away and scramble out of the chair, kicking at the stand and trying to get away. And that was just a second or two in the chair, with two strong guys with me trying to get me to calm down and let the dentist take a look.

And simply shutting down my defensive mechanism does nothing to deal with my fear, because my mind would still be screaming, but my body would just be too looped up to react, so again, I'd just be laying there forced to take it. That's a fresh version of hell.

 

[Stress Doc]

Re: Getting sedated to get calmed down?

Hi Odette:

The issue of control is really based upon intent. Anyone has the potential to hurt us at anytime. Yet, it is virtually impossible to remain in a high state of alert for extended periods of time. The human body and endocrine system was not designed to operate in this manner.

If I believe you do not intend to hurt me, purposely, I can relax. The dentist or doctor does not set out to intentionally inflict pain or damage.

Self-protection is wise when it is warranted. This is based upon perception and our ability to handle the situation. If we believe we can handle it, anxiety is minimal.

In the dental situation the risk is minimal as the intent is to fix problems with minimal discomfort. This is why they give LA and the like.

You have the ability to handle this situation. Relax and give yourself permission. You are the only one that can change your perception. Life is about perception management.

The world is not a 100% hostile place. There are people that want to help us. Believe you can deal with anything in a calm proactive manner. Look for the best and you will find it.

Blessings