21 and terrified I'm going to lose all my teeth!

[dinolove]

Hi there! My name is Fiona, I'm 21 and new to this forum. This will probably be long but I'm asking you to please bear with me as I could really use some support and advice, I've never spoken or written about this before, to anyone...

Basically, I'm scared I'm losing my teeth. I had braces from the ages of 8-15 and was "blessed" with an incredibly rough orthodontist and always left in immense amounts of pain which has given me a huge aversion to any form of dental treatment meaning the last time I visited the dentist was in 2009. While I was in regular orthodontic treatment, I was always told to take better care of my gums (she used to poke them with a sharp implement so I could see that they bled), but I was always a bit careless in terms of brushing.

Last year, I realised just how much my gums were bleeding when they began to bleed without brushing - just randomly throughout the day! I bought a gum protection toothpaste and a softer bristled brush and this problem soon stopped - although they still bleed when brushed on occasion. I try to brush three times a day (gently) but I'm not sure I brush long enough each time and if I only brush once or twice, I become very "aware" of my gums in my mouth. It's like a painless throbbing sensation, and plaque seems to form on them so quickly! Between after breakfast and afternoon, there's white lines of it between my teeth and gums which werent there in the morning - I'd hate to think what would happen if I skipped as many brushings as I used to do! Sometimes when I get rid of this plaque then I notice little brown lines along the bits between some teeth.

In January this year, I took a good look at my teeth in the mirror and noticed flaps of loose gum around the bottom of my two middle lower teeth. These teeth also look a lot longer than they used to - I'm not sure if this is the swelling going down or the gum receeding but I fear the latter. Since then I've also noticed that the gum is not fully attached to the teeth in lots of areas
I assumed that these were pockets and that I have periodontal disease. I know this should've been my cue to call a dentist asap but I was just so scared! Partly of the pain and partly of the fear of being told that my poor oral hygene in the past would cause me to lose my teeth and show the world how much I've failed! What if they have to be taken out there and then? I'm a student and I can't afford dentures or surgery or anything

This week, theres this little bump just underneath one of my lower teeth and it seems to be pushing it. I'm not sure how much it's moved or if its my own imagination and there's no pain but I'm so scared it's an abcess and it'll push my teeth right out. Unrelated to gum disease but I used to make myself sick a lot up until a couple of years ago (don't do it at all now, along with heavy drinking and social smoking) and when looking at this little bump I noticed a HUGE black line all up my back molar and brown lines on all the rest. I know this is decay but for some reason the idea of getting this confirmed sends me into a complete panic

The rational side of my is saying that nothing can do that badly in a few days and all I need to do is call the dentist on Monday and get an appointment but I'm not registered anywhere and I've heard it can take ages and ages to get an appointment? What if I don't have ages? My boyfriend's recenetly asked to see my teeth and I know he knows they're bad but I just refuse to acknowledge there's a problem and the idea of having to tell him I have to have surgery or lose a tooth at 21 makes me tear up because he's going to think I'm so disgusting. I really don't know what to do or how to handle this because I take a rational attitude to things in the rest of my life so this level of faffing and worrying isn't usual for me and it's like enough is enough.

Any suggestions of anything I can do or how to start dealing with all of this would be really appreciated becase I'm driving myself mad here!

 

[carole]

Hi to the forum.

It does sound like your gums and teeth need a dentists attention, when they give us a good clean which they can do painfree, if your gums feel sensitive they can slightly numb your gums so that you are comfortable. They may refer you to see a hygienist for this as sometimes they concentrate more on the cleaning and hygiene side of things leaving the dentist free to concentrate on other treatments you may need.

I am from the UK and here it can take a while to find a dentist but if you make a start now it is less time to wait in the long run.

If you email some dentists and explain how you have on here how you feel and ask if they could help you get back to oral health. You could choose the replies you like and contact them to make an appointment or even to talk to them and ask them any questions you may have about the dentists or practice.

The first appointment is usually a short one where the dentist will listen to your concerns and have a look at your teeth to see their condition, they may also want to take an x ray to see how the roots are doing. They will then discuss with you what treatment they think you may need and how best to get it done. They can start with the small stuff and work up to any bigger things later if you need any.

You may not need to have any teeth extracted, a lot of people think they are in a bigger mess than they really are. The dentist won't judge you they have a better attitude towards us these days and they do their best to help us get over our nerves and fears.

You need to know that you are in charge and you have to give informed consent for them to be able to do anything to your teeth. You have choices. They will explain what treatment you need and between you, you can work together to get you out of pain and healthy again.

Try not to get too worked up about your teeth until you know what you may need, it is better to see someone sooner rather than leave it and cause yourself more stress and worry.

I was told by my dentist to brush twice a day for 2 minutes, in the morning and last thing at night,with a soft brush in circular movements on each tooth with a manual brush or to get an electric toothbrush and they will give you a lovely clean making it easier.

At midday to use a mouth wash and to floss, which at first can feel strange and make your gums bleed but this will lessen and will help your gums close the gaps and they will go back against your teeth.

I hope you manage to find a dentist soon and get help

 

[dinolove]

Thankyou very much for your reply, it was very reassuring

I'm also in the UK so similar issues - I would consider a dental plan if it was affordable but on a student loan, it just doesn't seem feasible. I emailed a few dentists last night and will call more tomorrow and see what I can do about an appointment.

What is comforting me at the moment is that there is definitely improvement in my oral health since last year, I've gone from bleeding at every brushing without fail to maybe only 30/40% of the time - there's also no pain in my mouth whatsoever. Although I am cautious about being lulled into a false sense of security which will only make bad news harder to hear.

i shall update this thread with how I get on, feels good to be making positive steps

 

[zabka]

Hi,

I was in a similar situation, but worse...and it's not so bad! I have several broken teeth and had been 9 years without a dentist visit. I'm 26 and in my younger years I too had a crappy orthodontist, made myself sick, had an awful lifestyle re: drinking, diet and smoking and neglected my oral hygiene. When I was brushing regularly again, like you I had bleeding gums and abscesses and heavy plaque buildup at the join between gums and teeth which looked brown if I cleaned the plaque away. Some teeth also felt loose. I used a bottle of Corsodyl mouthwash and got a soft brush but after a few weeks, although my gumboil cleared up and the bleeding reduced, the gums looked white at the edges and were flapping off the teeth. I stopped the mouthwash but started using the toothpaste 1 year ago, which tastes foul but seems less harsh. I abhor flossing and need to do this more regularly. My gums have receded, really badly on the front upper and lower in particular.

Like you, I was ashamed to let my girlfriend look at my teeth (she used to look on the sly when I was sleeping anyway but feigned ignorance excellently) and took an out of sight, out of mind attitude. This lasted until possibly the worst abscess pain I have ever endured on the most recently broken tooth. The pain (and the stress on my girlfriend) broke the camel's back (sorry for the cliches) and I went to the university dental hospital. I was asked to come back after a month for a proper consultation and x ray (all free!) as the initial exam revealed 4 necessary extractions - all completely ruined teeth I knew could not be saved, broken to the gum line.

I had that appointment on Thursday. I had worked myself up in to a panic, convinced that all my teeth would have to be extracted and I would need full dentures, have terrible bone loss etc. It was not so bad. The only addition to the extraction list was a wisdom tooth that's growing in to my cheek. This I can live with (the tooth does my head in anyway). The student dentists I've seen were all really lovely. None of them have done anything yet (fillings etc) but I am coping with the fear. I don't know what will happen later but the extractions will be done under sedation in one sitting for free. If the situation's not too bad, I may be able to get on a student treatment plan, where everything will be done free and all the student cares about is getting the best possible result and keeping the patient happy, as it counts towards their degree. I've found myself less nervous with the students and more with the tutors - I don't feel as threatened by someone who's a similar age to me and who isn't fully qualified. All the work gets checked, so it's not poor quality. Maybe this could be an option for you, especially if you're worried about the costs.

In summary (and sorry for the long post), try not to worry too much, hard as it is. You're doing the right thing acting now - don't wait until teeth start to break or you could be looking at at least one extraction. If you're not in pain at the minute, it can't be too bad! Even if you have decay, this can be fixed by fillings, root canals etc. You can have sedation if you're worried about the procedures or any pain. And it's not like the orthodontic appointments some people experience, where they go home in more pain than when they began! I'm pretty certain that you will come home from your exam feeling even more relieved and relaxed than I did. And possibly the best feeling that I've ever had was finally telling my girlfriend about my anxieties, and letting her look in my mouth while I was awake. She'd seen it before, but seeing her looking and not being disgusted, still kissing me, and just trying to work out how we could make me better - this was the best feeling I have ever had. If your boyfriend's worth his salt, he'll already know you need a bit of work doing - and he'll stick by to support you while you have it done.

Also - I told the student about the Corsodyl experience but she said it would be best to use the mouthwash anyway. I've been using it for two days, diluted with a little water, and it seems to be helping. If you're not on it already, I'd recommend it. I managed to find an alcohol free one, mint flavour, because I really hate the original green aniseedy one. It doesn't taste as crappy as the toothpaste, although I've kept that too.

Good luck with everything. Let us know when you have the good news! And keep up the positive attitude!

 

[carole]

I have also had work done at a dental hospital and like zabka I had a very positive experience they are very caring and take great care with you and your comfort does come first. They aren't rushed at all and will explain everything to you. If they are not too sure about anything there is a tutor there to answer any questions they may have.

I went to the dental hospital in Leeds and it is wonderful there, I now see my own dentist but will always be grateful for the treatment I had there.

All the best to you, try not to stress too much and good for you for making a start in finding a dentist. If you don't like the first one you see then you can find another one, you can go out of your area as well as long as you are okay to travel.

There are dentists recommendations on this site too in the find a dentist section there may be a nhs dentist on there for you to contact. Have you looked on the nhs website for a dentist, even if they say they aren't accepting you can still contact them, they don't always keep things up to date.

Good luck stay in touch

 

[dinolove]

Thankyou for your reply zabka - so comforting to know there are others in a similar position. None of my teeth show any sign of looseness or breaking yet so hopefully I can avoid extractions completely. I'm trying to pluck up the courage to tell my boyfriend about my anxieties but it's a hard topic to bring up - despite the fact he knows there's something not quite right about my attitude to it all.

I've considered corsydyl because apparently it's fantastic for restoring gum health but the smell alone makes me gag so it'll be a massive step to actually buy and use some. (Actually, the smell/taste of all mint products makes me gag somewhat, which probably explains my poor oral health in the past)

I go to uni in a city quite near Leeds, although there's no dental hospital around here.
But... I have an appointment! One of the surgeries I emailed just after posting this thread called me back this morning and said they were taking on new NHS patients from the end of April. So I have an initial appointment for April 30th! This is a long time away but I can take steps to improve my oral hygene in the mean time while knowing that there is hopefully an end in sight for my worries.

Sounds so cliche but I'm not sure I wouldve been able to take this step without posting here so thankyou all!

 

[carole]

RESULT Well done. I wish you well for your upcoming appointment. Try not to stress too much and get as orally healthy as you can until then. It will soon come and then you are on your way.

Good for you I look forward to hearing how things go and in the meantime if you want to stay and keep us company or if you have any worries we will do our best to help support and comfort you. You are a

 

[Lisalovesbacon]

I was just browsing this forum and I can safely say this post may have saved me from doing something stupid over my teeth. Thank you so much.

Hi,

I was in a similar situation, but worse...and it's not so bad! I have several broken teeth and had been 9 years without a dentist visit. I'm 26 and in my younger years I too had a crappy orthodontist, made myself sick, had an awful lifestyle re: drinking, diet and smoking and neglected my oral hygiene. When I was brushing regularly again, like you I had bleeding gums and abscesses and heavy plaque buildup at the join between gums and teeth which looked brown if I cleaned the plaque away. Some teeth also felt loose. I used a bottle of Corsodyl mouthwash and got a soft brush but after a few weeks, although my gumboil cleared up and the bleeding reduced, the gums looked white at the edges and were flapping off the teeth. I stopped the mouthwash but started using the toothpaste 1 year ago, which tastes foul but seems less harsh. I abhor flossing and need to do this more regularly. My gums have receded, really badly on the front upper and lower in particular.

Like you, I was ashamed to let my girlfriend look at my teeth (she used to look on the sly when I was sleeping anyway but feigned ignorance excellently) and took an out of sight, out of mind attitude. This lasted until possibly the worst abscess pain I have ever endured on the most recently broken tooth. The pain (and the stress on my girlfriend) broke the camel's back (sorry for the cliches) and I went to the university dental hospital. I was asked to come back after a month for a proper consultation and x ray (all free!) as the initial exam revealed 4 necessary extractions - all completely ruined teeth I knew could not be saved, broken to the gum line.

I had that appointment on Thursday. I had worked myself up in to a panic, convinced that all my teeth would have to be extracted and I would need full dentures, have terrible bone loss etc. It was not so bad. The only addition to the extraction list was a wisdom tooth that's growing in to my cheek. This I can live with (the tooth does my head in anyway). The student dentists I've seen were all really lovely. None of them have done anything yet (fillings etc) but I am coping with the fear. I don't know what will happen later but the extractions will be done under sedation in one sitting for free. If the situation's not too bad, I may be able to get on a student treatment plan, where everything will be done free and all the student cares about is getting the best possible result and keeping the patient happy, as it counts towards their degree. I've found myself less nervous with the students and more with the tutors - I don't feel as threatened by someone who's a similar age to me and who isn't fully qualified. All the work gets checked, so it's not poor quality. Maybe this could be an option for you, especially if you're worried about the costs.

In summary (and sorry for the long post), try not to worry too much, hard as it is. You're doing the right thing acting now - don't wait until teeth start to break or you could be looking at at least one extraction. If you're not in pain at the minute, it can't be too bad! Even if you have decay, this can be fixed by fillings, root canals etc. You can have sedation if you're worried about the procedures or any pain. And it's not like the orthodontic appointments some people experience, where they go home in more pain than when they began! I'm pretty certain that you will come home from your exam feeling even more relieved and relaxed than I did. And possibly the best feeling that I've ever had was finally telling my girlfriend about my anxieties, and letting her look in my mouth while I was awake. She'd seen it before, but seeing her looking and not being disgusted, still kissing me, and just trying to work out how we could make me better - this was the best feeling I have ever had. If your boyfriend's worth his salt, he'll already know you need a bit of work doing - and he'll stick by to support you while you have it done.

Also - I told the student about the Corsodyl experience but she said it would be best to use the mouthwash anyway. I've been using it for two days, diluted with a little water, and it seems to be helping. If you're not on it already, I'd recommend it. I managed to find an alcohol free one, mint flavour, because I really hate the original green aniseedy one. It doesn't taste as crappy as the toothpaste, although I've kept that too.

Good luck with everything. Let us know when you have the good news! And keep up the positive attitude!

 

[Lisalovesbacon]

I hope you get the best treatment! I put myself into debt for good oral health and I don't regret it at all.

Thankyou for your reply zabka - so comforting to know there are others in a similar position. None of my teeth show any sign of looseness or breaking yet so hopefully I can avoid extractions completely. I'm trying to pluck up the courage to tell my boyfriend about my anxieties but it's a hard topic to bring up - despite the fact he knows there's something not quite right about my attitude to it all.

I've considered corsydyl because apparently it's fantastic for restoring gum health but the smell alone makes me gag so it'll be a massive step to actually buy and use some. (Actually, the smell/taste of all mint products makes me gag somewhat, which probably explains my poor oral health in the past)

I go to uni in a city quite near Leeds, although there's no dental hospital around here.
But... I have an appointment! One of the surgeries I emailed just after posting this thread called me back this morning and said they were taking on new NHS patients from the end of April. So I have an initial appointment for April 30th! This is a long time away but I can take steps to improve my oral hygene in the mean time while knowing that there is hopefully an end in sight for my worries.

Sounds so cliche but I'm not sure I wouldve been able to take this step without posting here so thankyou all!

 

[dinolove]

Hi everyone,

This isnt an update, I'm just really struggling with the fear at the moment. My appointment isn't for over a month and I'm just sat here in tears both dreading it and wishing I could get it over with. I haven't told anyone I'm going yet because there's no-one who could come with me and it would mean actually talking about my fear.

I'm terrified about what I'm going to be told as well as the cost of treatment. I'm in pretty dire financial straights anyway - what if they recommend treatment and I can't afford it so I just have to sit and wait knowing that the problem is only getting worse. Ideally, I would go private but NHS is my only option and I've heard so many stories about the dentists being abrupt and rushed and impersonal that it's making me so much worse.
What if I have to have an extraction and can't afford the replacements? I'm 21, it's just considered gross to lose teeth at this age, isn't it? My boyfriend has perfect teeth and I'm so scared that if I tell him how bad mine are or the results of the appointment that he wont want to kiss me or be around me anymore. He doesn't even know I'm going.

This is just such a pointless rant but I just don't know how to cope with all this anxiety

EDIT: The dentist I'm going to see is part of the IDH group - does anyone know anything about them?

 

[carole]

I don't know anything about the dentist group you are going to see, sorry I can't help on that one.

The terror and anxiety is another matter, that I can help you with. I was a total wreck a couple of years ago after having bad treatment from a dentist, I was just as nervous as you are feeling. I was shaking, I couldn't sleep, I felt sick and I thought I was going to have a heart attack, my chest was killing and I couldn't breath or talk to the dentist. He was very calm and asked me what I was most worried about, he spent half an hour just talking and listening to me, he had an answer for everything that I was worried about and he said he could give me the treatment I needed without any pain or anything bad happening. He took things really slowly and didn't rush me into doing anything. I got the treatment I needed but then he was leaving the practice as he was moving, well that put me into a total state of panic. I didn't like his replacement and decided to change practices, I wasn't too sure about the dentist I saw, she was female and had only graduated about three years ago. I saw her and I also ended up being referred to my local hospital for some treatment as well. I was in a terrible state now not only having to deal with a new dentist but also having to see another stranger to do my teeth as well.

It turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done, I had my treatment and I carried on seeing my female dentist, the hospital dentist was lovely and so considerate and making sure I was feeling comfortable at all times and my own female dentist is just as good and caring too. I am really happy to see my dentist now and I am glad that I stuck it out with her.

I have told you this because all my treatment has been on the nhs, so don't worry there are not so good dentists both in nhs and private, but there are a lot of very good nhs dentists out there and they really want to help us get the treatment we need. If you don't feel comfortable with the dentist you see then find another. You can do this even on the nhs so don't worry you will find the right dentist for you. All treatment can be done totally pain free, and they are not there to judge you. They want to help and get us orally healthy, they need us you know, where would they be if we all had perfect teeth.

Good luck with your appointment, maybe you could ring and ask if they have any cancellations so that you could go sooner and have less time to worry.

 

[dinolove]

Today's the day!

Im feeeling...I don't really know, I think having such a long wait has made it almost not real in my head. Then every so often I realise it IS real and start panicking. It doesn't help that I'm going alone so there's no-one to bundle me in a car and make me, I have to take myself...
My gums are still awful, I think they're worse if anything, horrifically swollen and peeling away from the teeth in some places. I definitely need at least two fillings (never had any before) and god knows what they're going to say about the rest. I feel embarrassed and humiliated even think it about it
I'll update this later this afternoon when I finally find out how bad it really is.

 

[dinolove]

I DID IT

It it was literally just X-rays and an examination. I need two sealant fillings on my back molars and one actual filling on one of my front teeth, which will be done in a few weeks time. As far as my gums though, she said they were very inflamed and recommended an appointment with a hygienist (booked for June) but that after this and with use of mouthwash and an electric toothbrush then I should see some real improvement and there was nothing amiss with the X-rays at all

So all in all, not great but nowhere near as bad as I hoped and feeling completely and utterly relieved. The weight of the last 5 odd years has just been lifted

 

[Mega639]

That's awesome. No big deal at all!!

Now - a cautionary tale....I could have written this when I was 21. At 31, after many years of just giving in to my dental phobia, my problems are A LOT worse. My 3 extractions next Monday are just the tip of the iceberg. Counting those, I'll already be 10 teeth short of normal. Then the reconstructive work starts - $$$$$$.

Please, please, please take advantage of your relatively good starting point. Get the work done, and then GO BACK every 6 months. If I could rewind 10 years, I would shake my former self silly and drag myself to the dentist on a regular basis. Good luck.

 

[dinolove]

That's awesome. No big deal at all!!

Now - a cautionary tale....I could have written this when I was 21. At 31, after many years of just giving in to my dental phobia, my problems are A LOT worse. My 3 extractions next Monday are just the tip of the iceberg. Counting those, I'll already be 10 teeth short of normal. Then the reconstructive work starts - $$$$$$.

Please, please, please take advantage of your relatively good starting point. Get the work done, and then GO BACK every 6 months. If I could rewind 10 years, I would shake my former self silly and drag myself to the dentist on a regular basis. Good luck.

I definitely definitely will be going back! I have a silly little unrealistic fantasy about one day having no issues (and hopefully no dentures either) and getting them whitened so I can have the smile I always wanted. I'm so glad I went now and feel (hopefully) that going back will be easier. Bought myself an electric toothbrush today as well

I hope your issues and phobia improves, it really is terrible that so many people go through this

 

[Deejay]

Well Done Way to go, that's fantastic just take it a step at a time you,ve done the hardest part by far, attending that first appointment and getting a treatment plan makes things more manageable. You will do great
D.J
A bad day with good teeth far outweighs a good day with bad teeth xx
sorry for short message 50 mins late getting to bed xx

 

[christopherstarks]

Congratulations! You did do it! It never is as bad as we make it out to be in our heads. Good to hear they have a good plan for you. Just stick with it and you'll be on the road to a wonderful smile!

 

[carole]

WELL DONE YOU I am so happy to read this and am really pleased and proud of you for getting there