At my wits end

[Aj64]

So it's only a few days to go now. To add to my already worried state, everyone in our house has managed to catch a summer cold. I'm so scared of getting ill just before or after the surgery. I worry that a cold will further complicate any sinus perforation or maybe even cause one if the surgery doesnt already. Timing of all this sucks

 

[Aj64]

Its tomorrow! I am freaking out quite a bit. My mind is going like a yoyo...from "it will soon all be over" to " what if it goes wrong and I'm in even more pain and the healing takes weeks?".

I have come so close to cancelling the appointment but thankfully every time I go to, the pain in my tooth flares up, reminding me of why I have to do this. My partner reminded me yesterday that I've been in pain for 19 months now! It's weird but I have trouble now remembering what it was like for that tooth to not hurt in some way. I think I'm so frightened to believe that this extraction will end all of this since before every previous procedure I've hoped the same thing with no result.

 

[Aj64]

I chickened out.
I'm feeling so ashamed of myself right now. I had a restless night and kept thinking that this is something I cant ever go back on. Once the tooth is out, it has gone forever. I think that if I didn't give it one last chance to settle I would be thinking about it forever and regret giving up on it.

I know it's only 1 tooth, but it has become something that has consumed my mind for so long now. I know that if I had gone through with the extraction that it would have been a full stop in this whole nightmare. But I am a wimp.

They have rescheduled for August

 

[Enarete]

It's been a while since you posted this so hopefully your feelings of shame and feeling like a "wimp" had settled now. Of course you aren't a whimp and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The purpose of fear is to keep us away from things that could hurt us and the hardest thing about going to the dentist if you have dental fear is the part of fighting the bodily sensations and mental images that are all trying to convince you that something will go wrong. Being able to go to the dentist despite all those reactions takes a huge amount of energy and sometimes it's just too hard.

Hope you will find a way to get the treatment you need. If there is anything particular you are worried about, it might be good to talk to your dentist again and get some answers to feel more at ease. I feel that particularly the part of possible sinus perforation makes you picture the most terrible things in your head and none of them is true.

All the best wishes and keep us posted

 

[Aj64]

Thank you for your kind words Enerete. I am still feeling ashamed. I keep thinking that if I had gone through with the surgery I would he feeling much better by now and this whole nightmare would be gone.

I thought I had this all sorted in my head too...that I was ready. But I panicked. A proper panic attack. I was shaking and felt like I wanted to just disappear. I was in tears talking to the dentist to cancel my appointment. He was so kind as well. He didn't charge me for the late cancellation and booked me in again for August 9th. So i now have to try and find a way for me to not panic again.

Meanwhile the pain keeps fading down and then coming back. The pain is nowhere near the level it was. I AM noticing improvement over time. But it's been 7 months since the last retreatment and I'm not willing to hope that the tooth could actually settle completely.

 

[Sol]

Sometimes the anxiety that builds up prior to the appointment is the worst part and one of the harder things to overcome. Many people here experience it, myself included. Its nice to hear your dentist reacted kindly and offered to re-book.

If you are worried about complications, have you spoken to your dentist about it? They should be able to give you a better idea of what to expect. As far as healing goes after an extraction its not so bad, you just need to take things easy. Have you see this page for tips about recovery after extraction?
https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/faq/healing/

 

[Aj64]

So my next attempt at the extraction is in 2 days (Tuesday 6th August). I've spend the last few weeks psyching myself up to have it done. I really have to go through with it this time. I've been through too much now and just want this over and done with. I've promised myself a holiday after it's all healed up as incentive. Plus I can get a few other minor tooth issues sorted out once its healed (I have a few chips on my upper front incisors that embarrass me when I smile).

I am beyond scared and keep having nightmares. I've been given antidepressants by my dr and they help me sleep as a useful side effect.

 

[Aj64]

The appointment is in 4 hours time. I am so scared it's hard to describe. I want to back out again but I have to do this, I know that, and I've been a coward and an idiot for almost 2 years now, living daily with pain and anxiety over this tooth.

I will update as soon as it's over and I'm back home.

 

[Aj64]

I'm in the waiting room. I feel like a condemned person waiting to be hung. I cant even believe I'm here.

 

[Stupiddentalfear]

Hope all goes well.

 

[Aj64]

It's done. It's over. I did it
The surgery didn't go 100% as planned as the tooth was very stubborn and did not want to come out, so it ended up breaking into lots of bits (even after sectioning). But it's out now and I have the pieces sat in a little plastic holder in front of me now.

The surgeon didn't think there was a sinus communication (phew!!!!), but sometimes they become apparent a few days into recovery. Also I didn't bleed much so he is worried about dry socket, but also told me that they don't often develop in top teeth extractions. I am to phone him if the pain doesn't fade over the next few days.

All in all, the procedure itself was not awful at all. Even though mine was a tough tooth and required sectioning and them a lot of pressure to get free, the actual surgery was no worse than getting a filling. I will keep you all updated on the recovery process, and this is the part I am dreading...gulp.