Completely paralyzed with fear

[GreatWBeans]

I found this forum "researching" abscesses. It's been just over 10 years since I last drug myself to the dentist. I've always been terrified of the dentist, and not going while everything gets worse has only heightened it dramatically with every ping of pain or occasional headache. I've never been good at taking care of my teeth, and 7 years or so ago the back molars on my upper jaw basically just broke apart, there's only little bits that remain on the edges. It never hurt badly or continuously, during or after. If I ate or drank a lot of sugar I would get a dull ache but it would pass and I adjusted my diet to suit that. Today I woke up and the right side hurt a just a bit and felt a little strange, and I realized I had an abscess.

I am a complete mess right now. I don't have any severe symptoms currently. I also don't have a dentist. I have dental insurance, I have no idea what it even is or what it covers and I'm not exactly rolling in cash. I spent a few years drinking myself into a stupor daily, I'm over a year sober and have spent that time taking care of all those things that fell by the wayside. The dentist was supposed to be the last one I did because even the thought of needing a filling scares me. I didn't have insurance for years which was a convenient excuse. Now I'll need an extraction (or 2) of whatever's left and this treated and god knows what else. I'm terrified. My girlfriend will be terrified because she's been urging me (politely) to do this sooner because of exactly this kind of scenario and she's worried. We're saving up for a new place and that'll probably be gone because I was too chicken to deal with any of this when I could have. I'm scared for my health and the cost and crushed by the weight of failure.

My current plan, because I have none of the "severe" symptoms nor a compromised immune system, is to try to get my head on straight, go to work in the morning, get my insurance information, and call around to well rated emergency dentists and see who can get me in the fastest, or what they recommend I do. I'm more scared now then I was when I was sure alcohol withdrawal was going to kill me. But I have to do this, I just need to compose myself to handle it correctly, and maybe some kind words or (hopefully reassuring) advice or experiences.

 

[krlovesherkids777]

GreatwBeans, to DFC! There are many that understand here and want to help! How are you feeling today, and any updates? Were you able to call around or talk to any clinics? It is certainly anxiety provoking thinking about going after so many years . Is there anything specific that you are fearful of? I personally so know how it is to procrastinate going until absolutely needed. Know that there are some really good kind dentists out there that will take good care of you! It makes all the difference in the world. Would love to hear any updates! I can testify , My old dentist before I moved was an emergency dentist and I ended up staying with him as he was truly kind and pivotal in my dental journey! Please let us know how you are!

 

[GreatWBeans]

@krlovesherkids777 I woke up for work tonight, it's noticeably smaller now and the pain has almost entirely subsided. Still no fever or difficulty breathing, swallowing, or swelling of the face. I know it's obviously still something that needs to be handled, but it feeling less obtrusive and a full night's (days) sleep has really levelled my head about it. I have not called around yet, on my way out of work I have to grab the info for my insurance.

The pain makes me a bit nervous, but the thing that scares me most is the mental weight of failure. I haven't taken care of my teeth at any of the preventative or early stages, so it got worse, I get scared about the consequences and the work I'll need because of the failure + inaction, repeat for 10-15 years. It's (artificially) added an immense amount of shame and weight to actually dealing with it.

 

[Dr. Daniel]

Hi. Can you point out specific issues you find scary when it comes to dental treatment? What can help a dental visit to be a positive experience for you?