• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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"I love my dentist" (was: "I hate dentists")

Re: "I hate dentists"

flutterby said:
I hate dentists. What do they expect when they go into a "profession" where they get to use painful devices, drills and sharp instruments into someone's mouth? .....  IMO if a dentist doesn't like patients saying " I hate the dentist" then thats their problem.

I know where you are coming from, but it is because they are going to be working in your mouth with these instruments, that your mum is right in saying you should be civilised...it's in your own interests to phrase your discomfort with the situation less confrontationally. It's fine to say you're nervous/scared/have had bad experiences in the past but if you just say 'I hate the dentist', you are possibly setting yourself up for another negative experience...if you expect it to hurt, why should they bother taking extra time/care to ensure it does not hurt. Obviously the best ones would try to prove you wrong either way.

Would your approach be the same to a hospital surgeon? Probably not. Why not? Maybe because they use effective anesthesia - the best dentists use effective anesthesia, are gentle, put you at ease, do quality work, such that eventually, you may start saying 'I don't really mind going to the dentist...provided I'm not having anything major done'.  

Only time and positive experiences is ever going to change your mind on this one...so the sooner you take up your Mum's offer the better..or did you already?
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

I wouldnt say I hate dentists, more the work that they do, I cant say I hate someone for doing a job that can improve someone oral health and hygiene, at the end of the day they have your best interests at heart, even though you probably dont realise it!

I can say though that I hate going to the dentist, which is why I havent been in so many years and that I hate certain procedures but if it improves how I am, my self esteem and my health then thats surely got to be a good thing?
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

I haven't been to the new dentist yet, which is fine with me. I have been to the dentist, because my mom (and to an extent) my dad made me go because my mom saw a big huge cavity in the back of my mouth (back left tooth # 18). I begged and pleaded for her to let me not go. My dad was going to let me not go, until he saw the cavity. 100% against my own will, I ended up in the dentist office. Turns out my tooth needed a root canal, the other option would to have extracted (which is actually what I wanted to do), but my mom had told the dentist to refer me to an endontist (I was 17 at the time, so the dentist went along with my mom's decision).

At this dentist, I really made that dentist earn her money. The hygentist had to even get the main dentist in order for me to take the x-ray, because I kept pushing her hand away from my mouth and crying. After that, my mother walked by the cubicle I was in and I told her to "save me from this sadistic torture". I'm sure the dentist didn't like me when I acted up for her hygentist. And she (the dentist) certainly didn't like me after I called her "profession" sadistic torture.

I was more "comfortable" at the endontist. He was very gentle, and talked to me throughout the entire procedure (I had the two appointments root canal). As much as I hate to admit it, he was pretty nice for a dentist. So I guess he's the exception.

Despite my semi good experince with the endondtist and even after I have gotten one cavity, that prevented me from smiling and really lowered my self esteem (it's higher now because its fixed and looks much better) I'm still not convinced they try to "help" people. The reason dentists should bother taking the extra time/care to ensure their treatments don't hurt is because I am paying them (until about last week I didn't have insurance).
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

flutterby said:
I was more "comfortable" at the endodontist. He was very gentle, and talked to me throughout the entire procedure (I had the two appointments root canal). As much as I hate to admit it, he was pretty nice for a dentist. So I guess he's the exception.

No, ideally he should be the rule, not the exception - maybe you should choose your own dentist rather than letting your parents do it. In a free market, the really sadistic 'bad apples' are few and far between, because no-one should go back to them....so in that sense you are right but your post reads as if you were just trying to be as awkward as possible..were you..or were you very afraid?

I'm delighted that the endodontist was relatively speaking such a 'good guy' since root canals are arguably the most feared treatment even among people who are reasonably comfortable with other procedures.

[/quote] Despite my semi good experince with the endondtist and even after I have gotten one cavity, that prevented me from smiling and really lowered my self esteem (it's higher now because its fixed and looks much better) I'm still not convinced they try to "help" people. The reason dentists should bother taking the extra time/care to ensure their treatments don't hurt is because I am paying them (until about last week I didn't have insurance). [/quote]


Yeah I take your point about 'I'm the customer and I'm paying, so they should make treatment as painless as possible'

...but you can get bad service in any area, whether you are paying or not, so that's why it's best to be civil. Dentists are human beings too, trying to do a difficult and stressful job for which admittedly they are very well paid (in US anyway).

You have grown up in different times, but I for one would probably not have my own teeth now in my forties, if it hadn't been for UK NHS dentistry. I also received 'free at point of use' orthodontistry which undoubtedly helped my self-esteem over the years.

Dental torture in my view, is dentistry 'without anesthesia' or 'with inadequate anesthesia' which no one should have to suffer these days, although I accept it does still happen - hence this board....if it does happen to you...you walk out and go elsewhere....an option not so readily available to a child.

All dentists are not the same and you should 'shop around' for one you like and trust but you will never find such a person, if you believe all to be out purely for themselves.....it's a bit like complaining in a shop,if you go in all aggressive, it puts the other person on the defensive...whereas if you give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they will do all in their power to solve your problem,you will more often than not be pleasantly surprised.

Sorry if this sounds a bit 'young people of today....' Good luck with whatever you decide
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

I'm sorry to say that I really do hate dentists. I have one friend who is a dentist who has offered to see me professionally but I told him that I didn't want to have to hate him!

Since most people are somewhat familiar with the old Seinfeld show, I now call myself an anti-dentite. My dentist got a chuckle out of that one.

For me it's easier to hate someone than to be terrified of them.
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

I just replied to your post about the awful endodontist.
Assuming you believe him to be competent, I think its definitely time to take your 'dentist friend' up on his offer...you'll find it much better...because there will be a degree of trust there already and it will be easier to share your fears and hopefully you will post back that you no longer hate dentists :p.
Good luck
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

If i was honest, i don't think i hate my dentist. I only say i do when my phobia is at its highest and i can't cope anymore. It just seems to fly out, although i say i mean it, i probably dont.

The dentist at my specialist clinic was the nicest i've had, but unfortunatly i cant go back to her as she was only to help me "get over my phobia".

When visiting her i felt much more relaxed and calm, she talked through everything with me and told me what we'd be doing next time, so i had a few weeks to convince myself it would be alright.

I think thats what all dentists SHOULD be like. Not forcing you to do things because they say it will be ok.
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Gordon(Guest) said:
My stock reply is "That's alright, I hate patients", seems to work fine for me. :cheers:


After the experience I suffered with one dentist, if someone said that to me, I would get up and walk away. I would never put money into that person's pocket.

In any case, I would never say I hate dentists. I would only say I hate dental treatment.

There is only one dentist in my life that I can honestly say I found caring, and that was an asian dentist near where I lived. I left him because I moved away, but perhaps I should have stayed. He was also handsome, so that helped as well.
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Yep, handsome always helps :p!

Dunno if you'd really walk away after meeting Gordon, he's a really sound guy ;D!
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

agreed! :cloud9:
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Yep... agreed :)

Good looking is definitely a bonus...  :redface: that makes me sounds so shallow :p!

Ahh well, never mind... as long as they're not so ugly or strange looking that it scares you even more (like my first dentist who had ginger hair and small feet... at least I think they were feet in his shoes, might have been cloven hooves :devilish:), then it doesn't really matter :).
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

That'll be the 'wicca' dentist Vicks.. :)

For what it's worth - I hate dentists too - and I AM one. Rarely met any that I actually like - we're an insular bunch, inhabiting our own wee world of teeth... obsessed with money and nurses. (well the bloke dentists anyway! - the females are obsessed with money and handbags...)

Funny enuff, I worked with a Male nurse when I was back in Northern Ireland there, - lovely chap, but I didn't like when he held on to my mirror for slightly too long when he was passing it to me (hey - at least I didn't say 'probe')

I've gone off topic now haven't I?

*Pars lurks off back to toothy problems forum...*

;D
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Pars said:
That'll be the 'wicca' dentist Vicks.. :)

If only... might've been more interesting then :p! It is quite possible that he was an inhabitant of the underworld, although I never dared to ask him if his middle name was Satan :devilish:.

I can't honestly say I've ever told a dentist that I've hated them... although I have gone as far as saying "I hate coming here" to one I used to see a few years ago... to which he replied "yeah, so do I!" :rolleyes:

Pars said:
Funny enuff, I worked with a Male nurse when I was back in Northern Ireland there, - lovely chap, but I didn't like when he held on to my mirror for slightly too long when he was passing it to me (hey - at least I didn't say 'probe')
I wouldn't worry about going off topic, this thread has gone off topic a few times already :p

:o :p!! LOL You keep your probe out of this!!! :rolleyes:

I wouldn't worry about going off topic.... I do it all the time ;)
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Pars said:
Funny enuff, I worked with a Male nurse when I was back in Northern Ireland there, - lovely chap, but I didn't like when he held on to my mirror for slightly too long when he was passing it to me (hey - at least I didn't say 'probe')

Has anyone else observed an increase in smutty innuendo on this forum lately? Anyway, back to the topic: I'm dying to hear the blow-by-blow account of what happened next... :drool:
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Yes... do tell.... :drool:
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

'Mirror' - it's a euphanism Lets.. a euphanism...

lovedentist.jpg
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

letsconnect said:
Has anyone else observed an increase in smutty innuendo on this forum lately? [

Oh dear... it seems to coincide with my return... I'll get my coat..
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

:rolleyes:... Words fail me :p ;D!!!
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

;D ;D ;D

Don't get your coat just yet! (not until we've discussed"suction tools" and other dental equipment anyway - best to hear about these things from qualified professionals to avoid any misunderstandings...). Thanks for your explanation about the mirror, I had always wondered what exactly it's used for!
 
Re: "I hate dentists"

Pars said:
For what it's worth - I hate dentists too - and I AM one. Rarely met any that I actually like - we're an insular bunch, inhabiting our own wee world of teeth... obsessed with money and nurses. (well the bloke dentists anyway! - the females are obsessed with money and handbags...)

Hi Pars,
To get slightly more back on topic....I have to say this comment worries me a teeny bit ....I've been trying to convince assorted anxious/phobic posters on here for several months now that once they find a *kind competent preferably painless dentist ...they are in danger of feeling extremely grateful to the point of feeling like they have sort of 'fallen platonically in love' *:-* *:p....so how can you say as a dentist that you have never met a dentist that you like? *What about your own dentist then? You must have met loads....for the record of the 20 or so I have come across as a patient because of being on the Associates List at a practice I went to for many years....I have only hated one *:devilish:(my second ever) .....but he was so bad all the subsequent ones seemed positively lovely *:cloud9:......until I met a *:devilish: hygienist and extremely rough dentist in a foreign country....so UK Dentists Rule OK. *(Showing my age with that saying!)

Have you ever met a UK dentist who doesn't automatically vote Conservative to preserve his/her wealth? Don't hold out much hope for the answer :p.

So now we've had sex and politics in this thread...I'll leave someone else to do religion.

It's great that you are chipping in, in the non-technical sections....just thought I'd try to convert this thread yet again to 'I love my dentist'....instead of 'I hate dentists'.... Michelle34 where have you gone...help required please?
 
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