my dentist but new practice

[vicki]

someone at work said to me today how can you be afraid of the dentist at 34? so i just cried and thought yeah thats me stupid mandy!

No you're not stupid. All sorts of people are scared of the dentist for all sorts of reasons. There isn't a particular type of person who is scared of the dentist . I've always been terrified since the first visit to the dentist when I was about two - it's been the same ever since, apart from about 7 years when I didn't go at all because I was way too scared.

Nobody knows about my fears (apart from people who read this site ) - not even my dentist because I've never been able to discuss it. Then one day someone at work saw me viewing this website and asked what I was doing. They said "How can you be afraid? You're so confident and know what you're doing!" But the thing about fears and phobias is that they can be caused by all sorts of different things and so they affect all sorts of different people in different ways . If you were to see me during a dental appointment, you would never dream that the shaking, stuttering, terrified wreck in the chair who is behaving like a frightened child is someone who earlier in the day has probably been sat in meetings with clients presenting designs to them and discussing budgets worth millions of pounds. So there is no such thing as a typical dental phobic.

Anyway, quite often, the very nature of this particular fear means that people can be so embarrassed and/or ashamed about it so they keep it a secret. For all you know, some of the people you work with could also be afraid of the dentist!  

i have been taking prozac which was helpful but stopped taking it thinking i dont want to feel like a reject i dont need these.

You're not a reject - you'd be surprised how many people take Prozac and similar drugs . There's no shame in it - you just need a bit of extra help sometimes, in the same way as say, someone needing a walking stick because they have difficulty walking.

Do try and talk to your doctor though because there are a few options available to you to help you deal with this. Medication is one of those options but there are others such as psychotherapy/psychology, hypnotherapy/NLP and counselling as well. If you can accept yourself and love yourself for who you are and not who you think you should be because of what others say, then I bet you'll begin to feel a lot better about things.

he said i wasnt a pain that he knew where he stood with me which im hoping means something nice? because  C gave me a big hug after.

Of course it means something nice! If he gave you a big hug afterwards then what do you think that means? Afterall, would you hug someone who was a pain? .

 

[harper]

hi vicki
thanks for the support i think your really brave not telling anyone is hard too i went to see a psychotherapist once but gave up because i thought it wasnt working although looking back it was because i never gave it a chance to doctors at 9.20 so heres hoping.
there is one thing your right i get a hug everytime i go and i dont hug people i dont like! let you know what happens at the docs thanks again x

 

[harper]

hi vicki and everyone
  went to the docs today i told him how i feel and what had happened when C changed practices and how it had me feel and how i feel so down and how ive been mis interpreting things and how i feel about myself. he has said i need to take 2 of my tablets a day instead of one and reffered me to the psychotherapist which iam defently going too, why shouldnt i be happy? ive got a fear of the dentist IAM NOT A REJECT wow that feels better  i even went with S to the emergency dentist with S yesterday although i didnt feel very well sitting there and did have to go outside. the dentist said to S your friend looks very nervouse S said its my wife and shes petrified of the dentist, the dentist said well why doesnt she wait outside. even i had to laugh when S told me that
luv mandy x

 

[brit]

Hi Mandy
Sounds like your doctor's appointment went well  . I'm sure talking to someone will help you loads - but at least the dental stuff is already well on the way to being sorted. Hope you don't have to wait too long for the appointment to come through.
Have a good weekend - I trust you're not in pain like you were this time last week. Is S okay now too? Understand from my Mum on phone this evening that weather good in England at mo - so try to get out and about and forget about your teeth!
Cheers
Brit

 

[harper]

hi brit
    yeah weather is nice too warm for me really. the waiting list is a while but at least ill know its coming which should help. S is ok thanks he had the nerve taken out and antibiotics and then C can finish it. his top tooth needs doing but hes going on tuesday so thats ok. im never going in the emergency place with him again though it was horrible really scarey im not too bad thanks the top 2 are a bit sore but its ok. go outside? prob not the flat is a tip!

 

[harper]

well so much for feeling better although i have been ok till now so i suppose thats a little progress. got to think positive i can beat the fear one day

 

[vicki]

Hi Mandy,

Glad to hear the doctors appointment went OK . You are totally right - you do have a right to be happy and you are not a reject! You will feel better soon - it might not be straight away because sometimes drugs like Prozac can take 2-3 weeks to kick in properly (or so someone told me ), but you've made a start and that's quite often the hardest thing to do.

Going to that emergency place must have been hard, but you managed it didn't you? So, although it wasn't nice and you don't want to go back there, you must have a fair bit of courage and determination in order to go in there in the first place - so feel good about that .

I'm sure you'll be able to beat this or at least begin to feel better about things. It may not go away overnight, but as long as you keep looking forward and taking it a bit at a time, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Plus you've got a dentist that you like and trust - and that's usually the most important thing for most people . Oh, and you've got this place...

 

[harper]

hi vicki
    yeah your right they do take a few wks to work my own fault really because i stopped taking them a while ago (sometimes i start thinking i do want to take these anymore im not a reject) but thanks to this site all the great people and C ive realised theres no shame in needing some help. the dentist fear has done me a favour in a way. as you say ive done the hardest part.
the dental place at the hospital was hard but i felt i had to help S hes not scared but seemed mean making him go on his own,the worst part was when S came out to wait to go numb and started telling me what they were going to do thats when i went outside it was suddenly very hot in there! i do have a problem i dont seem to be able to sort out,  the receptionist is horrible i know it shouldnt matter but it does. if you phone shes like well what do you want, its like your putting her out by daring to phone. when you go its worse she always makes it seem like your a pain needing the last app even though C says i need the last one. she was on the phone the other day and made it very clear she didnt want the job. im sure she doesnt like the fact we get on so well.   oh and ahes gonna be there when i go tonight  

 

[brit]

The receptionist aaaaaah!
Try giving her the cold shoulder too - just be icily polite -  ' Mandy x, I'll take a seat then till C's ready to see me.' Then hide behind a magazine.

Do not look to her as part of your 'being put at ease' process. That is actually part of her job description but she doesn't seem to think it is, so don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she's unnerved you.  Maybe she's a nice person, just in the wrong job and with very poor customer service skills - she'd go far in Holland, I can tell you!

Is the Assistant any better now - the one who tried to overdose you with x-rays?!!!

Have fun - you know you can do it.

 

[letsconnect]

Mandy, just ignore her  ! As Brit said, it sounds like she's in the wrong job, but thankfully she's not your dentist  . I know it must be really upsetting to you, but there's nothing you can do to change people. And at the end of the day, it's far better to have a great dentist and a p***-poor receptionist than a mediocre dentist and a great receptionist... I suppose it's really rare for everything to be just perfect.

Yes, it's annoying - but things could be so much worse! Focusing on all the good things (like C) might help  .

 

[harper]

thanks for the reply brit
you did make me laugh the last time i went it was a different assistant and my mind was on giving christo the letter that i didnt even notice her really . they dont seem as together as the last practice. ive got a feeling that their old boss let them especially the receptionist get away with murder. she said to a mate on the phone hes not here next week but weve got to be to do things,got a feeling they dont like working. id swap with her just need to try and not focus on her because ive a feeling she wont be there much longer she said im asking to work only 2 days a wk and tough if he doesnt like it . i wouldnt wish her on you or holland! shell probably be well moody tonight cos ive got the last app shame eh! not sure fun is the word but i can do it (i think)

 

[harper]

thanks lets
your so right all i have to do is tell her my name then just ignore her, maybe shes jeolous that me and C get on so well now if i can just be this brave tonight. your right focusing on the good things does help ive not been as worried this weekend because ive been saying to myself off to see my freind C on monday rather than oh god dentist on monday. so far so good last app of the day so the pressure is of there and hopefully hell put the answer phone on and she can go at 6 stop her moaning. thanks again mandy

 

[freakout]

Hi Mandy...so sorry you are having problems with the receptionist, but I can totally relate with that  I'm with Lets, just ignore her.  I decided that when I called to get some medicine from the dentist, that no matter how rude the receptionist was I would just let it go in one ear and out the other.  It was no use allowing her to upset me.  When I called, she really wasn't rude at all, she even went and asked the dentist right away if he could call something in  

Since this is a new office, she may not be aware of the way C wants things run yet.  If she is indeed a rude person, she won't last long.

Best of luck today

 

[harper]

hi freakout
    how are you?
S said if she worked for him hed sack her and he never says anything against anyone,which makes me feel better in a way because i dont feel like its all in my mind. shes not important really im just gonna say my name and sit down the worse bit is if you have to phone shes no help at all im going to ask C if i can ask for him if i need to phone,last time he said ask for me so should be ok take care mandy

 

[freakout]

Hi Mandy...I had a similar experience. Once he sent me to an oral surgeon for a consultation. He said after the consultation to call him & let him know if he thought it was the root canaled tooth causing the problem & he and I could discuss the next move treatment wise. He said it right in front of the receptionist. After he left the counter, she said call us know how it goes after the appointment. She had no intention of letting me talk to him. She made that clear. When I called, they just set up an appointment. Which they scheduled for the wrong time and I had to have it resceduled, once he saw me on the books during a busy time. He wanted me scheduled for a time he could focus only on me.

My jaw is much better, but the two teeth I have had problems with are still hurting. I can handle the tooth pain much easier now that the jaw pain/spasms are under control. My next appointment is next Wednesday.

 

[letsconnect]

That's excellent Mandy !

I just wanted to wish you all the best for tonight !

 

[harper]

hiya freakout
im glad your jaws are feeling a bit better.
i used to think its cos she doesnt know iam scared but i kinda explained that and it didnt make any difference. guess shes not a people person and in the wrong job. i worry about that because i bet if i phoned and said i need to speak to C shed probably say i couldnt but ive decided id just get all my courage up and either keep phoning till she did or go down there. its not too far (well thats the theory anyway) as awful as it sounds hopefully she wont be there much longer

 

[freakout]

Hi Mandy...I hope everything goes well tonight. Just try to ignore the receptionist. I know it is easier said than done

 

[harper]

hi lets, freakout
thanks for the good luck wishes
ive just got back from my worst nightmare the receptionist assisting i so wanted to run away ill probably never be able to go back feels stupid i sat there and had my bottom tooth rc done but im still freaked out(sorry) by the receptionist or whatever she is how can i be scared of the waiting and people its stupid?

 

[freakout]

It's not stupid...there is one assistant that works with my dentist, that just gives off a very uncaring vibe. I actually paniced when I saw her coming in to assist I just did'nt feel comfortable with her. However I see it this way. The dentist is right there, he is not going to allow her to hurt me in anyway....then one day when she was assisting she was very friendly and gentle. I thought, maybe she is like me a little shy, and it comes off as uncaring. Don't be afraid to go back regardless, you have come so far