New here and petrified!

[Paintedlady]

Hi guys, I don't really know where to begin!

I haven't been to the dentist in 12 years due to a terrible fear and anxiety of going. I was never really taught the importance of oral hygiene from my mother when I was younger as she also had a fear of going! Every visit as a child resulted in either fillings or a lecture, which I became embarassed about the older I got.

During my teens I developed bulimia, which lasted for years and I cannot say I am fully over phsycologically and I am now 38. Which obviously resulted in receeding gums and bad cavities due to the acid.

So this added to my anxiety as I have been too embarassed to see a dentist for fear of being judged/lectured or them saying they cannot help me.

I lost a filling last week and the pain has become unbearable, so much so that I finally plucked up the courage to phone NHS direct to try and find an emergency dentist with a view of actually registering with one as well. I felt sick to the stomach.

I got a call giving me the number for an emergency dentist and was shaking whilst making the call only for them to say they didn't have the space today!!!! Now I'm awaiting the NHS to phone me back with another number and feel on the verge of giving up as I'm so scared. I know I should go as it will only get worse in the long run but the actual wait is making me a nervous wreck.

Help me Please!

 

[clairethehair]

You poor thing, enormous hugs from me I can completely understand why you avoided going to the dentist - when I was a child, my dentist was really nice and I never had any problems, yet still I didn't want to go as an adult!

Sorry you lost a filling, it's something I dread. You've really been so brave though, well done I know how awful it is when pain forces you to seek help - I suffered with what turned out to be a nasty abscess for about two weeks before I finally gave in. It takes a lot of courage to take that first step and try and get seen. It's such a shame that the emergency dentist couldn't fit you in, I can imagine how you felt. Don't give up though, I know the wait is horrible but it'll all be sorted very soon. I bet when you get seen it won't be as bad as you imagine

You're doing really well - thinking about you and keep us updated. Claire x

 

[bearsagainstevil]

The anxiety of not doing what you know you ought to do is worse than anything that could happen to you.
You have that feeling at the back of your mind of kind of failure and weakness, considering not going .
It’s a bit like the saying “the coward dies a thousand times the brave man only once”
It’s like say doing a parachute jump or something that scares you not as dangerous as a parachute jump but in your mind this fear will have taken on mountain like proportions.
But after you do it you will have a rush of self confidence, your fear will be faced, and really although you may not know it facing fears like this can improve your confidence in all sorts of ways.
It’s a opportunity.
When you go they will be able to sort out the pain so that will stop, your worry about going will stop and you will have more confidence also the rest of your teeth will be cared for .
Just say to yourself right I’m going to do it and mean it. The Japanese samurai used to have a saying life is like a walking through a rainstorm, you can either dodge about trying to shelter here and there by the sides of buildings, or you can stride through the rain right up to where you’re going. Both ways you will get a soaking but the first way you will have worry and stress.
What you need to do is walk straight to that dentist and get the job done, no confusion in your mind
best wishes

 

[bearsagainstevil]

And I know how you feel for years I put off going to the dentist, then one day I found the courage and just went .
The dentist will most likely be lovely. Nobodys perfect dont expect too much of yourself or too feel to bad about the past .
We only learn by our mistakes so dont beat up on yourself, anyway you really do have my best hopes and wishes

 

[Paintedlady]

Hi guys, Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. This forum is helping me so much. NHS service in Wales, UK on the other hand isn't!! I still haven't managed to find an emergency dentist. I phone one every day to try and get an appointment but as always someone has just phoned before me and had that ONE emergency appointment they have daily.

It's enough to put me off trying anymore. I've actually, finally plucked up the courage to get my mouth sorted and there's no bloody help out there!!! I'm determined not to give up though. I've had another number to phone today so will be doing that at 9a.m. (just under half an hour) Aaarrrghhh!! So today is going to be a nervous day.

On another note, I have finally registered with an NHS dentist. There was actually a feeling of accomplishment after I came off the phone, even though there is a 3-4 month waiting list until I will be able to have an appointment. Nevermind, what's 3-4 months when I've waited 12 years yeah?!

 

[Paintedlady]

Just a quick update, phone call done and I have an appointment tonight at 6.15p.m. Wish me luck!!!!

 

[Paintedlady]

Well I did it!!! I am now pain and stress free (for now) I sat in the car park for around half an hour willing myself to go in then had to wait another half hour before I was seen. First thing I did upon entering the treatment room was cry like a baby and babbled on about why I hadn't been to a dentist in such a long time.

They were so understanding and told me they weren't there to judge and that I had done so well in taking the first step to helping myself. The dentist also said that she had seen much worse teeth than mine and not to worry. Oh my, what a relief that was. 12 years of shame and worry and it was all over in less than 20 minutes!

Next step to overcome is getting my first appointment with the new dentist I've registered with, bearing in mind that they have a 3-4 month waiting list, I hope I don't build myself up again for when that time comes. (I probably will though!!)

Thank you so much for this forum, there is no way I could have done it without coming on here! xx