V
Victinini
Junior member
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2019
- Messages
- 2
- Location
- USA
I've been stressing about this for a while, I finally got an appointment to get my impacted wisdom teeth removed, and I know I'm going to get put out, cause there's no way I'll make it through local without freaking out, I had a root canal once and that was a trial. I don't actually have that much fear of the surgery, since I will be put out. I'm just scared of what will happen after.
My family is insanely over the top Evangelical. Both my father and mother have made comments about how the gays (they use a less kind word) should be forced into conversion therapy, my father going as far to say imprisonment. Funny enough, their only son is gay. I can't cut ties with them. I'm living with them while I get through college. I'm so scared of coming out. That iCarly episode where Sam tells Carly she and Freddy kissed, after her oral surgery, keeps popping into my head. That and all the videos online of people high out of their minds.
I keep thinking about just waiting on my surgery, but my mouth really hurts. And even if it is unlikely I would just come out, I fear that the panic of that possibility being on my mind constantly will make those thoughts pop into my head. And no, I can't get anyone else to take me sadly. I'm antisocial as hell and I've got like two irl friends, both of whom I met years ago in youth group at church and they both are also quite homophobic. I've got friends online who know I'm gay, but the closest one is 5 hours away.
I just don't know what to do. But my housing and college is on the line if I mess up.
My family is insanely over the top Evangelical. Both my father and mother have made comments about how the gays (they use a less kind word) should be forced into conversion therapy, my father going as far to say imprisonment. Funny enough, their only son is gay. I can't cut ties with them. I'm living with them while I get through college. I'm so scared of coming out. That iCarly episode where Sam tells Carly she and Freddy kissed, after her oral surgery, keeps popping into my head. That and all the videos online of people high out of their minds.
I keep thinking about just waiting on my surgery, but my mouth really hurts. And even if it is unlikely I would just come out, I fear that the panic of that possibility being on my mind constantly will make those thoughts pop into my head. And no, I can't get anyone else to take me sadly. I'm antisocial as hell and I've got like two irl friends, both of whom I met years ago in youth group at church and they both are also quite homophobic. I've got friends online who know I'm gay, but the closest one is 5 hours away.
I just don't know what to do. But my housing and college is on the line if I mess up.