So disappointed with myself today:((

[Foolishfairy]

Hi folks,
Only ye could understand....Okay major phobic here but doing well.Long story but due to a severe phobia I hadn't been for years.It took over my life and I made the big step a few months ago and am doing well with a WONDERFUL dentist.In the past few months I have managed a huge cleaning, done in a a few stages.Each time I was given IV sedation.Today I had two fillings.I am so upset with myself tonight.As soon as I sat on the chair I felt weak and they had to tilt it back completely.I could barely answer simple questions it was as if I froze in fear.Anyway I was given a light IV sedation, much lighter than before.Got the fillings no bother but at the end when I went to get up I fainted and again in recovery room I felt sick and dizzy.This all passed and I was grand after a short time after some encouragement.
Now it wasn't pain I fainted from.... I am so disappointed with myself for acting this way and taking up their time.I thought things could only get better??? I really felt the fear had my mind ruined today.I wouldn't mind but I was fine going in.I could cry here tonight I was worse than my first visit..What does that lovely lady dentist think of me???i have a new lease of life after taking this step but I am cross with myself and myself only tonight.Anyone ever go great but then take a step backwards again if you know what I mean?thanks x

 

[Tink]

Hi Fairy -

Please don't be so hard on yourself!

You know what? It sounds to me that you're doing great! You have a major phobia, you've been working really hard on it, and you've worked all the way up to getting a couple of fillings done with only light sedation - that's great! Honestly, you're doing really well.

What you are doing is hard. And it's scary, and it will be tough on your body sometimes. Sometimes people find that they end up fainting or having a panic attack once it's all over, it's almost like your body 'lets go' once it feels safe enough to do so - does that make any sense?

I think your dentist will actually be impressed at your persistence and that you managed it.


Re going great but then taking a step backwards, yes, I've done that a couple of times - but in particular there was a period at the start, after I'd changed from a horrible dentist to a lovely one, where I found my phobia actually got much worse before it got better - it all unravelled for a while because it could. Finally, it was OK and safe to unravel, so I did! We're in a rebuilding phase now, and at the end of that things will be better than they ever were.

(Edited to add: I've just looked, my first ever thread on this forum was titled "Getting worse before it gets better - is this normal or is it just me?". It turned out the answer was yes, this is normal. It's not just you, or me.)



I hope that helps. Please be kind to yourself today, you're doing so well x

 

[ScaredyCat22]

Hi folks,
Only ye could understand....Okay major phobic here but doing well.Long story but due to a severe phobia I hadn't been for years.It took over my life and I made the big step a few months ago and am doing well with a WONDERFUL dentist.In the past few months I have managed a huge cleaning, done in a a few stages.Each time I was given IV sedation.Today I had two fillings.I am so upset with myself tonight.As soon as I sat on the chair I felt weak and they had to tilt it back completely.I could barely answer simple questions it was as if I froze in fear.Anyway I was given a light IV sedation, much lighter than before.Got the fillings no bother but at the end when I went to get up I fainted and again in recovery room I felt sick and dizzy.This all passed and I was grand after a short time after some encouragement.
Now it wasn't pain I fainted from.... I am so disappointed with myself for acting this way and taking up their time.I thought things could only get better??? I really felt the fear had my mind ruined today.I wouldn't mind but I was fine going in.I could cry here tonight I was worse than my first visit..What does that lovely lady dentist think of me???i have a new lease of life after taking this step but I am cross with myself and myself only tonight.Anyone ever go great but then take a step backwards again if you know what I mean?thanks x

I think it's spectacular that you were even able to make yourself show up and sit in the chair and get through the whole appointment and get the work done. If I could do that I'd be patting myself on the back regardless of what happened after,

 

[Foolishfairy]

Thanks so much for kind replies and taking the time to read my post.Yes I have come along away and lucky I have such support.I am just annoyed with my own behaviour, I felt I was almost silent and needed so much encouragement to co operate and remain focused.These people have so much patience....Interesting to hear your experiences as then I feel normal!!
Many thanks

 

[Tink]

I'm prone to the silent/freezing up thing too, you're definitely not alone! A lot of this is normal in phobics I think.

I still struggle to speak up if I'm uncomfortable, even if he asks me outright if there's anything wrong. It's something we're working on and I have my dentist primed to spot the signs if I'm starting to withdraw.

In my experience, it takes time to change that (I'm not quite there yet!), go easy on yourself. The secret is, I think, building up a trusting relationship with your dentist.

 

[Foolishfairy]

That's just exactly it Tink. Ifreeze and want to withdraw and stop communicating.I knew the last day after SETI g my foot inside her door I could almost feel a haze of dizziness envelope around me...Strangely enough I was fine on my last appointment and none of this occured.I am disappointed that I couldn't keep my head and participate in a simple conversation at the start.Anyway I got through the two fillings with much coaxing so that's an achievement .Thank you for sharing your experience

 

[Tink]

Anyway I got through the two fillings with much coaxing so that's an achievement.

That is a huge achievement, hold on to that!

The freezing/withdrawing thing will get better with time and trust, I promise x

 

[FearfulInMA]

I'm also someone who freezes and withdraws. I've been going to the same dentist for 7 years. I totally trust him and he's been so kind and patient with me. Even so, I really think it's only been within the last couple of years that I feel like I can communicate 'normally' when I'm there - and there are still times when I find myself unable to speak (not usually a problem for me in real life - lol!)

I fainted once at an oral surgeon's office. Trust me when I tell you this is not your fault (though to horrible oral surgeon tried to make me think it was). This most often happens because of something called a vasovagal response - it's a protective fear response where blood rushes to the extremities to prepare to flee. When this happens, there is not enough blood going to the brain and this is what causes fainting. Weirdly enough, I was very calm (unusually so) before that appointment too.

What I have learned is that the way to prevent fainting 100% and to reduce to woozy feeling is to be laying back as flat as possible with knees up. This forces blood back to the brain. I know a lot of phobics are very uncomfortable being flat back in The Chair, but I know, at least for me, it is necessary (especially during and right after injections or a difficult appointment) to make sure I don't pass out.

 

[Foolishfairy]

Glad to hear I am not alone! This forum is just what I need.Yes I was tilted right back when I started moaning I didn't feel well.I think they are getting used to me now.They just couldn't be any nicer and more supportive.I am just disappointed that I was able to communicate the previous visit and interact in a normal way as I am a good communicator in general but these trips turn me into a zombie mode!Its after I feel ashamed and kick myself.I hope you are getting on well too

 

[FearfulInMA]

I think that learning to manage this horrible phobia is not necessarily a linear process. I was so embarrassed after having a complete meltdown at one appointment (after having a number of successful ones) that I tried to switch dentists. I went to another dentist for a cleaning. Afterwards, the office manager from dentist's office I had been going to (and still go to) called to find out what happened. I tried to tell her my insurance changed and they were no longer in my network (true, but not the reason I went somewhere else). She told me that they could work with my insurance and reminded me how much I had grown to trust the dentist. I ended up going back and did eventually confess why I had tried to leave. I realized that if she was calling go have me come back as a patient, that I must not be as horrible of a patient as I thought I was.

It's been a really long process for me (7 years -like I mentioned above) and it's only recently that I feel like I don't (for the most part) freeze when I'm in The Chair. I know, in the beginning, it feels like you may never get there, but you will. You have a dentist you trust and you will get there - it can just take a long time to retrain our involuntary responses even when our brains know everything is ok.

Just know that next time won't necessarily be like the last time. You've made so much progress and you will continue to make more. Be kind to yourself and try to have the patience for yourself that you would tell anyone else to have for themselves!