Very scared and I NEED to go to the dentist ASAP!

[starduststeph]

I haven't been to the dentist in almost 3-4 years. I went to same dentist from ages 2-20. I went twice a year, but I hated this dentist. I felt like I was treated more as a dollar sign than a patient. He and his hygienists were very judgmental rather than compassionate and encouraging. No matter how good I brushed or flossed or whatever it never seemed good enough.

Around 3 years ago I moved to a new city and state and have avoided finding a dentist and continuing that recommend twice a year check up. The other day I bit into something and I think I may of cracked or chipped a tooth and I'm in a lot of pain when chew anything against that tooth. I'm also a big teeth clencher which I'm sure may have caused this problem or contributed to my teeth not being to hold up as well. I'm sure I have some other issues to like cavities because I haven't gotten the regular treatment.

I am terrified, and as much as I want to avoid this I know I can't. I don't deserve to be in pain nor should I let this get worse. I have been in tears over this. I deal with anxiety/panic attacks in general. I am on medication for anxiety, so going to the dentist is just going to be a million times worse.

I have few dentists I looked up I'm going to call after the holiday weekend. I'm just so afraid of being "lectured" and judged again. I also hate the feeling of being out of control. I have a strong gag relax and I'm afraid of vomiting embarrassing myself further. Also, my anxiety in general makes me queasy... I'm basically afraid of everything! I really want to just be taken care of with compassion and warmth.

I've had fillings in the past and had laughing gas. I must say this helped A LOT. I actually had a great time cracking jokes and saying random silly things while in the chair. On a lot of dentists sites I don't see the nitrous being listed as an option. I see the oral sedation which I would rather not do. I don't want to be completely knocked out I think that "loss of control" would be more nerve racking.

I'd appreciate any words of wisdom or support. Also can you help me come up with questions to ask dentists or receptionists whom ever I may reach on the phone about anxious patients etc?

Thank you!

 

[starduststeph]

Anyone please? I need to make calls tomorrow and I'm getting so scared.

 

[Stress Doc]

Hello

I will do my best to answer your questions.

Dentist tend not to lecture patients as it is counterproductive. Many times when you go to someone for a long time they can become a bit overbearing due to being too familiar with you.

I seriously doubt this will happen with a new dentist. They will be far more concerned with getting you out of pain and restoring your oral health.

Anxiety gains strength with avoidance. It never stays confined to one area but grows. I have always told my patients, "Anxiety is like a savings bond, the longer you keep it, the greater it matures." The only way of working through anxiety is by facing the object of the fear. It is difficult, but it works.

Being out of control comes from not understanding what is going on. Many people with anxiety become somewhat paralyzed and cannot ask questions. This is one reason it is good to write down your questions and take them with you. Always remember, you have total control. No one can do anything to you that you do not want. If you do not feel comfortable with the dentist, leave and do not come back, it is your choice.

Many people have a high gag reflex that is usually anxiety induced. A quick spray with an over the counter sore throat medication, calms the reflex down. Again, this is not unusual. Simply tell the dentist you have had a problem with this in the past, very common.

Many dentist do not use nitrous anymore due to liability issues and medication interactions. This can be a concern if you are taking anti-anxiety medications, be sure to tell them everything you are currently taking. Oral sedation does not usually put you "out" like a general anesthetic or IV sedation. It usually cause a state of relaxation and a sleepy feeling . You can respond to directions and your memory will be a bit fuzzy after the appointment. This affect varies from person to person.

It is best to talk with the dentist about your fears and concerns so they can understand your situation. The first appointment will be a consult to look at the work that you need. You also will see if you are comfortable with the dentist and can work with them. If your pain is from an infection they will usually give you a course of antibiotics to take care of the pain.

You will do great. Facing the fear is the best thing you can do. You will be surprised at how caring and understanding most dentists are. This have become very high touch, with an emphasis on patient comfort.

Dentistry has become much better over the past few years and is no longer painful or embarrassing. dental fear is very common. Almost 20% of the people in the USA have it to the extent they will never seek dental care.

I know you will find someone you can work with and they will solve your dental problems and help you overcome your fears.

Blessings

 

[drummerswife]

Starduststeph,
I would like to second everything Stress Doc said and tell you, from experience, that he is exactly right on. He has helped me tremendously and I encouragce you to really listen to him.
The story of my own dental journey is contanied here in detail and I invite you to read it if you like. In short, I will tell you that when I found this website my terror of dentists was so overwhelming that the mere mention of the topic was enough to give me an anxiety attack.
When I was dating my husband, he was stunned to learn I hadnt seen a dentist in 15 years. I didnt know anyone who felt the way I did. I felt very alone which only increased my anxiety. Not even my husband understood as he had no fear of dentists.
16 months ago, I met a wonderful woman dentist who changed my life forever. Under her gentle and compassionate care, I have taken great strides towards healing my past trauma and the terror that comes with it.
I know you will find the right one for you and you will see it makes all the difference. I know.

 

[starduststeph]

StressDoc & drummerswife

Thank thank thank you so much for you words of wisdom, comfort, and encouragement. I really appreciate you taking the time answer my questions and concerns. I know it's going to be uncomfortable and scary, but my dental health is important to me and I don't want to avoid it any longer.

Thank you again!

 

[drummerswife]

With that kind of "can do" attitude I know you will do great. Do yourself a favor though and if the dentist does not seem to be a good match for your needs, keep looking. You deserve the best.

 

[starduststeph]

I called a few places today and found what I think is going to be a great place. The lady on the phone was very understanding and compassionate and told me how they understood dental phobias and have helped a lot of scared patients.

I have an appointment Thursday morning. I'm very scared, but I'm proud of myself for taking that step to call. I'll keep you updated.

 

[Penny]

Excellent.. well done.. don't rule out oral sedation, I can't do the IV kind as i need to feel in control, in the high state I would arrive in, all the oral does is turn it down a notch, I never feel out of control or loose memory of the event.. another thing important to me. Good luck, I am going to a new dentist myself on Monday.. I know exactly how you are feeling.. I will think of you and send good vibes!! x

 

[drummerswife]

WAY TO GO STAR!! GOOD FOR YOU! I second the idea of oral sedatives. Good stuff. Unlike others who need to be aware of what is going on, I was much better off being in la la land with little or no memory. So I spent my first couple months of dental work in a sedative induced fog. The sedative served to buy us some time for trust to grow. As trust grew, we were able to gradually reduce the level of medication until now I dont need it anymore.

 

[starduststeph]

Thank you. I have my appointment in an hour and 10 minutes.. I called the office freaked out and the dentist herself actually called me back and told me what she was going to do and that she used to be afraid herself. It was really great that she took the time to call me. I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks for all your kind words!

 

[happypappy]

Wow! 16 years! I thought i was bad for approaching 11 of avoiding the dreaded driller (no offence - in case any dentists are reading!).

I was wondering; although I must admit I have yet till my due date at the dentist! Has anyone benefited from any spiritual/ pyshchological type self awareness stuff that has helped them to turn up, much less engage with the dentist?

(i hope this isn't too 'way out there', it's just that I have been researching whether to practice some new ways of preperation)

Any feedback (even if you think I need to calm down!) will be helpful.

Thanks

 

[starduststeph]

I'm back!!!

I have to say that we truly worry way more than we need to. I am SO pleased with my experience at this dentist. The dentist and her entire staff were the most genuine, compassionate, and warm I have ever encountered in a dental setting. The tooth that was bothering me she could seem to find and problem with through X-rays and etc. There was a small cavity on it. I'm a big teeth clencher so she thought it they may of contributed to the pain so I got a mouth guard. That was it. I am SO surprised I hadn't visited the dentist in almost 4 years and all I needed was a small cavity filled no need for numbing or anything it was that small and a mouth guard. I went in thinking I'd need root canal, multiple extractions, and etc. I didn't need nitrous or anything to relax me I was completely fine!

The only stinker is she highly suggested I get my wisdom teeth extracted with in the next 6 months. I have 1 that is impacted and 1 that is partially impacted. Meh, I'm worried about this but I hear you are pretty out of it and it's not too terrible? I'm sure worry will set in later on, but right now I'm relieved and proud of I went through with this. I am so happy I found such a friendly and understand dentist. Phew, what a relief!

Thank you all so much for your support!