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Really struggling.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Niki87
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Niki87

Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2025
Messages
87
Location
United Kingdom
I don’t know what to do with myself. I am so sore and having pain following my left lower molar extraction, it’s over 5 weeks still not healing, gums raw, that whole area of my mouth hurts the gums around the back of my second molar and the cheek tissue which I’m sure is because the back upper molar is now irritating the area. It’s constant, I only get a slight bit of relief at night when I get a bit of sleep thanks only to drugging myself up.

I cannot even talk to anyone as talking makes the soreness so much worse. I can’t eat anything but very soft things as my whole mouth seems to hurt. I have a cross bite anyway but I managed ok before I lost the lower molar - now everything is magnified.

I have made an appointment to see an oral consultant but couldn’t get anything for a week and a half, even paying private. I’m in the Uk but don’t have a nhs dentist and although I have a bit of dental cover through work it’s really rubbish and doesn’t cover much so it’s all out of pocket, but I am so desperate for help.

I was supposed to be going on holiday a couple of days ago and couldn’t go due to feeling so bad. I’m barely functioning and so worried about my future and my job.

The upper 2nd molar needs a filling and is starting to get symptomatic so it needs doing soon, but this tooth is causing so much trauma to my tissue, I just don’t see it ever ending and it terrifies me.

I don’t have wisdom teeth as they were extracted in my 20’s due to constant problems and I only have one set of pre-molars, I can’t remember if I never had them or they were extracted due to overcrowding. I have quite a small jaw.

My extraction was incredibly painful even with nerve block and extra injections, it was traumatic and I hope to get an implant to help with functionality but no idea if I will be able to do this yet.

Has anyone else just felt this constant fear? Nothing distracts me from it, I am not living right now, every day is an ordeal just to try and get through.

I just need some hope because it feels like life is not worth living like this. I can’t believe how much impact this has had.

In the uk, don’t know if it’s the same elsewhere, but there is a massive chasm between dentist/ oral care and general medical care. The problems can overlap and cause other problems but once a doctor knows it’s of dental origin, they do not want to know. I’ve had to fight just to get some bloods done to see if there is any underlying problem that may be contributing to my slow healing.

I would just give anything for a couple of hours without the pain/soreness, it really does a number on you physically and mentally. Feel so alone.

Thanks for reading
 
Hi @Niki87, so sorry to hear that you're still in so much pain :(. It sounds as if you got incredibly unlucky, life is just not fair sometimes!! I'm so glad you managed to make an appointment to see a consultant, I hope they will be able to pinpoint what is happening and find a way to get you out of pain quickly. Pity the appointment isn't for another week and a half - did you check if they have a cancellations list? Maybe they could get you in sooner if somebody else cancels - it might be worth checking.

Has your GP been able to help you with pain relief at all?

I can't speak from personal experience when it comes to dental procedures - luckily I've never experienced anything like you are describing - though I did after a medical procedure which left me in chronic pain for a couple of months (quite different to yours though). Experiencing constant pain without much relief apart from when you're asleep is incredibly draining, and it's no surprise that you feel overwhelmed and in fear right now. I remember thinking about taking my own life because I felt I couldn't cope with the relentless, never-ending pain. But it did go away eventually (not sure what actually helped in the end because I tried a number of things).

So I'm hoping that the consultant will be able to figure out what has gone wrong, and be able to put it right or at least help keep the pain at bay until it has healed!

Sending you lots of hugs and warm wishes :grouphug:
 
@letsconnect thanks so much for your reply. It is a very lonely experience. I did ask about cancellation but he is aparently away this week so the appointment next week was the earliest available, it’s a late afternoon appt, I always prefer mornings to get them over with as I find I spend all day worrying. But I’m just glad to have an appointment. It’s £200 just for the consultation, so I’m praying for some advice and some hope. I think ongoing infection is the issue, I’ve had a months worth of different antibiotics but worried it may be deeper down. I had problems with that tooth over a long period of time, however X-rays before the traction didn’t show any abcess or anything.

I am on annual leave at the moment as still need to take my leave even though haven’t gone away. I couldn’t work right now anyway as it’s so sore to talk, even after 10 minutes talking to my sister yesterday I had to stop because I was so sore. I have to talk to people all day and it’s terrifying me what will happen. It’s like a basic daily activity, just having a normal conversation. I would find it difficult talking to anyone physically about how I am feeling at the moment.

I know I am catastrophising, spiralling, whatever, I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see it happening, I just can’t seem to stop it.

My GP is newly qualified, and no disrespect as everyone has to learn but she was no help at all and kept saying what do you want me to do? You need to go back to your dentist! Like I haven’t done that already. She wouldn’t give me anything other than co-codsmol, which doesn’t work and causes me too many side effects. She said could try amitryptyline, which I believe is more for nerve pain.
 
Oh that sounds so frustrating and scary... sounds as if you've done everything you can do for now, and I hope the time until your appointment will pass quickly and there'll be an easy fix 🤗

(probably a silly question but I take it you're not on medication for osteoporosis treatment?)
 
@letsconnect Hi thanks for replying, makes me feel a little less alone, so Thankyou. No not on any meds for osteoporosis. Just asthma inhalers and contraceptive pill, and more recently copious amounts of painkillers and antibiotics. I had some bloods which show low B12 and vitamin D3, but they are only just out of range so GP has put on my notes ‘no further action’. I am going to supplement anyway as I figure it can’t hurt anything. I am so tired, just want to curl up in ball and withdraw from everything and everyone.

My sister thinks I should consider antidepressants as I’m not really functioning and I’ve let it take over my life. I know she is worried about me but I just don’t see how they will help in this situation. I already feel disconnected.

I thought I should go out earlier as I need a few things, and ended up backing into my fence. The fence has always been there and I’ve never hit it before! Just not focusing, no major damage fortunately but I just parked up and went back inside as I thought it was prob best for me (and everyone else) that I stay off the road for now! It’s crazy.
 
Oh no - sorry to hear about the fence, I hope the car didn't get damaged too badly? Fair play to you for staying off the road while you're finding it difficult to concentrate 👍

Vitamin B12 is pretty important for wound healing so supplements seem like a good idea! If you like clams and mussels, they contain huge amounts of B12 (and it's mussel season right now...). Though it sounds like eating is probably not on the top of your list of fun activities right now! Anyway, do keep taking those supplements would be my advice :)

Chronic pain is awful, I'm not sure if antidepressants are the way to go unless the pain is neuropathic or musculoskeletal (in which case they apparently can be quite useful). It doesn't really sound as if that's the type of pain you're experiencing? I can't really comment because I'm not a doctor, but if it was me, I'd be wondering if the potential side effects would be worth the risk, especially seeing how there might be a straightforward treatment once you see the consultant.
 
@letsconnect Thanks, you understand what I’m saying, I wouldn’t be even thinking about antidepresssnts were it not for the situation. I know I would feel much better with just some relief/reprieve.
It’s hard to describe the pain as it feels deep in my jaw, with sharp flashes of pain but that comes and goes. The other pain is more extreme soreness around the socket and the surrounding tissue/mucosa. Like if you imagine the worse canker sore you ever had but constant - it’s all you can focus on so it’s very hard to do anything cos it’s so damn uncomfortable and talking makes it so much worse. I feel like I’ve tried everything spent a small fortune on different mouthwashes, moisturising mouth gels looking for some relief if only temporary. You should see my bathroom cabinet. I haven’t used them all at the same time as I know you can overdo it, just used one thing for a few days at a time to see. I’ve just gone right back to basics again with warm water rinses with a pinch of salt as it all seems a waste of time. 😞. I do hope the consultant can shed some light on it and I start to see at least some improvement as it’s becoming unbearable and a big quality of life issue.
I know it doesn’t help to get so emotional but it’s so exhausting. Thanks again for your ongoing support.
 
Hi Niki87, Just wanted to say I'm just seeing your posts and so sorry what you are going through , it indeed does sound so draining and discouraging . I sure hope you can get some relief soon! The anxiety of it and the physical pain and drain combination is awful! :grouphug:
 
Hi. After an extraction of the alower first or second molar, it is crucial to check that the bone is smooth. We are mainly talking about the inner side of the bone, closer to the tongue rather than the cheek. It just might be that a small surgical intervention might solve the problem.
 
@krlovesherkids777 thanks for the support, it means a lot. My family are despairing of me and don’t know what to say, I get it because they don’t understand. It’s a lonely place to be right now.
 
Hi. After an extraction of the alower first or second molar, it is crucial to check that the bone is smooth. We are mainly talking about the inner side of the bone, closer to the tongue rather than the cheek. It just might be that a small surgical intervention might solve the problem.
Hi Dr Daniel, thanks for this, if I run my finger along the side of the socket nearest the tongue I can’t feel any sharp areas is that what you mean? I cannot recall the dentist cleaning the socket out following the extraction as it took awhile to get it out, although I saw it and it did come out in with roots in tact etc. I was just given cause to bite on for 5 minutes then sent on my way.

A different dentist has said it looked like some bone had broken off on the buccal side and there is a bit of a dip in the gum that side which is taking longer to heal. I could try posting a picture if that’s any help?

The second molar behind it is looking quite brown/discoloured on the side facing the extraction, it didn’t look brown after the extraction. Dentist is not worried about it and says the white line there is where it was touching the extracted molar. I am having difficulty cleaning this area so hopefully the brown is just some staining, I do use my electric toothbrush around the whole tooth but the gum is sore around there too and behind the tooth. The whole area is very sore. I always used to find difflam quite helpful but even that does nothing. X-rays have shown nothing obvious.

Thanks again for the input.
 
If you don’t feel anything uncomfortable with the tongue or finger on the lingual side, then it is orobebely ok. The explanation of the dentist sounds also reasonable. You can certainly post a picture.
 
If you don’t feel anything uncomfortable with the tongue or finger on the lingual side, then it is orobebely ok. The explanation of the dentist sounds also reasonable. You can certainly post a picture.
Sorry about the quality of the pic and for the staining on the tooth behind, it did not look like this following extraction but I can only clean round it gently as gum is sore so it is starting to look really stained. As you can see there is basically a ‘channel’ from that tooth to the one in front of red tissue, there is still quite a ‘divet’ there aswell but it’s not a hole. For a while the gum tissue was coming in from the sides then seems to have just stopped.
I cannot eat on that side at all, the teeth on the other side are all feeling sensitive so eating is difficult period at the moment. I have 2 upper first molar fillings and due a small filling on the tooth infront which they have been waiting to do because of the healing area. I had all my wisdoms out due to not being room and I’ve only ever had one set of pre-molars so I’m aware I don’t have a full set to start with and losing this one has made me concerned I’m going to lose them all. In fact concerned is not the word, it’s more terrified.
This is the extraction site now it is nearly 6 weeks (feels like 6 months).IMG_5437.png
 
Sorry, forgot I also have a small filling in the upper left 2nd molar that needs replacing and again been holding off due to this.
 
From the looks of it, the explanation your mentioned before seems right. It should gradually improve. Be stong and patient.
 
I am trying to be patient, and strong. Some days I don’t do very well. Progress is still slow. I didn’t really get anywhere with the oral surgeon, panograhic X-ray showed shadow between extraction and tooth next to it and he said he didn’t know what it was, maybe an artefact, then moved on. Which tells me nothing and not very reassuring. Doesn’t want to debride as he said it is showing signs of healing and by doing that could make my situation far worse, which I get and didn’t want it debriefing unless necessary. But couldn’t really suggest anything. Said to come back if still having problems. Not at that price I won’t be. Felt very disappointed but maybe expectations were too high.

I started back at work this week following leave, I have to talk to people all day and it has been torturous. I am so sore I have been in tears by mid morning. my Tongue is so sore, I looked in the mirror while I was talking and can see my tongue gets ‘sucked’ into my gap so it kind of goes over the tooth behind and the one in front which must be a bit sharp as I can see tiny cuts on my tongue. Which can’t heal because it keeps happening. Those teeth haven’t changed themselves, but the molar in the middle prevented them from touching as much as they do now. I need a new night guard, preferable to go across the gap as I suspect this is happening at night too. Maybe dentist can smooth the teeth a bit aswell I don’t know, I have an appointment in two weeks for something else but getting desperate.

I just don’t know what to do. Just need a bit of relief and to be able to talk (and eat) somewhat normally. When the molar was extracted it was done because of excruciating pain which you just want to end and when dentist doesn’t think root canal will be successful you do what you think is best. I just WISH something else could have been done to save it as I just don’t feel like ‘me’ anymore, which sounds absurd on the face of it but it’s how I feel. I know it’s pointless as we can’t change what’s been done. I even had this stupid dream where the tooth fairy gave it me back and put it under my pillow, I popped it back in and was so happy - till I woke up ☹️. I think I am loosing it.
 
How are you now? I'm sorry it took so long for your extraction site to heal
 
@tt27307 Hi, thanks for asking, it has finally healed over but took a long time. It was a difficult extraction and I wish I had gone to someone else who could have done it with more care and put a graft in at the same time, but here we are. I have just started orthodontic treatment as dentist and implant surgeon suggested it would be good to try and improve my alignment and bite issues before getting the implant and also for future teeth/gum health as it it should make my awkward areas a lot easier to clean. So that’s where Im at at the moment, still a long road before I get that implant tho! Hope you are ok?
 
@Niki87 how are you now? I saw your post and it remined me of my situation which I am currently going through.

How long did it take for you to heal? Did the dentist ever find out what the problem is or did your body just heal naturally although very slowly?

I am only 2 weeks in from an emergency extraction and now in a very similar situation to you, I had my lower molar removed and my gum is so sore that it really hurts to eat and speak. The socket itself feels fine, but the surrounding gum on both sides is very red, swollen and tender. I have been back to the dentist and an xray was normal and no signs of infection. Yesterday they decided to reopen the site and file down the top of the socket bone, clean it and put in some medicated dressing.
Needless to say, the procedure has increased the soreness and swelling today, but I suppose this is to be expected.

I am also a very anxious person and cannot stop worrying about it. I go away on Friday and I am worried that this will ruin my holiday or worse still, I will need to see a dentist while in a foreign country.
 

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