Shaking like a jelly and feeling like a hypocrite!

[Kim]

You do make me laugh hun - I am really chuffed that you managed to get through it - I will post my update in a bit as won't take up your 'space' I just make myself laugh really, because doesn't matter how many times I go, and know nothing is going to be really bad, my head can't get round that during the run up to the appointment. It makes my whole body think that I am going before a firing squad, and I realised today, that I am better and kinder to myself when I am driving and not the passenger

I can never tell the frightened one's, I mean, there are people who are actually making conversation when they are waiting what is that all about - I am too busy crossing and uncrossing my legs, twisting my hands around all over the place, and occasionally now (so that is good) watching my little legs do a merry little dance, and trying to calm them down And I am totally in of you for even managing to pick up a magazine, let alone read any of it. That would just be too much to ask of me

So you are a very brave woman for doing what you did today, and don't you forget it

 

[kitkat]

Congrats Aldridge! I knew you would do it!

I'm with Kim! I can't pull off the intriguing magazine act. If anything, it would only emphasize how nervous I am, when the pages are shaking everywhere from my trembling hands. I spend time in the waiting room either texting people, pretending to text, checking for texts, checking the time that has passed, and trying to look interested in the news on the tv in the waiting room until the news stories begin to make me feel more stressed and I return to tinkering with my phone. When that gets old I just stare blankly and scan the waiting room for other phobics too. Then I wonder if I look nervous to the other people in the waiting room and become self-conscious and go back to my phone! I always get a stomach ache on the way to the office too; if there was only one symptom I could get rid of, it would be that one.

I feel for you Aldridge with the last minute x-rays. Just when you think you are done and you survived and breathe that sigh of relief and celebrate your success there is something else! Each time the chair reclines for me is like going up another lift-hill on the fear coaster and it all starts again. I'd rather stay lying down if we aren't finished because once I have acclimated to lying back I'm relatively okay, it's the changing positions that sets me off. On one occasion, I recall my dentist doing that to me 3 times in the same appointment once for scaling, then again for the exam because she got interrupted but I thought she did the exam at the same time as the scaling as she sometimes does, then another time for fluoride and to check something else that came to mind and I just kept thinking "please make-up your mind! Are we really done this time?!" I also sit forward on the chair to the very last minute leading up to treatment and I'm told or "invited" to lay back.

 

[Kim]

I am right now kitkat - see, you are even braver than me - couldn't even tinkle with my phone - even a pretend tinkle - so I think that really does make me the biggest woos ever on this planet. I have realised today, that I have a ritual on the lead up to leaving for the dentist.

I get together a bottle of water, my phone, my super dooper magnifying mirror and a tissue for each pocket I have. Plus the house keys because no-one else takes them, and I want to be able to get back in of course I then get in the car, put everything in the side pocket, apart from the water, that goes in the water holder, and so the journey begins. Then, all of the time, I am clearing my throat - not because of anything apart from nerves. I alternate between clearing my throat to drinking my water, to twisting my hands, and then when we are almost there, I open the glove box and put all my things in there, as I couldn't possibly take them in, they would be all over the floor in no time .

So all in all, I am happy to admit I am one of Lincoln's more daft patients, but then would he have me any other way - probably

 

[apples]

Hi apples,
Thank you so very much! Your post crossed with mine. I think your courageous thoughts must have bypassed me in the waiting room, lol, and got to me in the surgery. Thanks again and

Hi Aldridge,
really pleased you attended your appointment. Go girl!!! A certain amount of anxiety/fear is normal when faced with the unknown, but the fact you faced your fear rather than avoid it surely proves how in control and brave you actually are! Well done, sooooo proud.

 

[Aldridge]

Aww, thank you all so much! apples, I'm not really brave, probably more scared of backing out than turning up, lol, but thank you anyway; you are so kind. Kim, it's you who makes me laugh! Kitkat, what a good idea to take your mobile to fiddle with. I will try that myself. I have a confession to make. I can't even see the darned magazines without my reading glasses on - which I am MUCH too vain to wear in public places! I couldn't read the form I signed after my check-up. For all I know, I have just donated all my teeth to medical research. Tell you what, I realised yesterday that I am now officially past it and should be put out to grass - that is the first time anyone has run an X-ray machine near me without asking first whether there is a chance I might be pregnant. I can't find a smiley for "past it".

 

[Kim]

What are you like, past it. You need to do what I did a while ago when I was in M & S getting my £10 meal deal for the weekend. Of course it came with a bottle of wine, and when the lady put it all through, I asked her if she had forgotten something? She looked a little puzzled, and I said didn't she need to see my ID as I had bought alcohol?? She caught on, and 'played' along and asked for my ID. To which I responded 'sorry, I forgot to bring it'

You have to do such things at times, as it gives us all a little

I am like you, I wouldn't be able to see any of the magazines either, that's not because I won't wear my specs, but being part of my 'ritual' is that they are tucked away in the glove box of the car of course

I don't think I would want to bring back my childbearing days now - how I ever got through all of that I will never know, just glad I was at the other end while it was all kicking off

And you're ok hunni, I don't charge for making people laugh, so you have more spare spondoolies to splash out on your fabulously healthy mouth

 

[apples]

Aww, thank you all so much! apples, I'm not really brave, probably more scared of backing out than turning up, lol, but thank you anyway; you are so kind. Kim, it's you who makes me laugh! Kitkat, what a good idea to take your mobile to fiddle with. I will try that myself. I have a confession to make. I can't even see the darned magazines without my reading glasses on - which I am MUCH too vain to wear in public places! I couldn't read the form I signed after my check-up. For all I know, I have just donated all my teeth to medical research. Tell you what, I realised yesterday that I am now officially past it and should be put out to grass - that is the first time anyone has run an X-ray machine near me without asking first whether there is a chance I might be pregnant. I can't find a smiley for "past it".

Hi Aldridge,
just a bit curious as to why you don't consider yourself brave for confronting something you're petrified of. Not sure you're giving yourself enough credit! There's enough people out there quick to dismiss our achievements, (regardless of what they are). There are times when we should be able to stand on the rooftops shouting how proud we are of ourselves, no matter how small the achievements seem to others! .I think It's holding on to that sense of achievement that spurs us on to take the other steps.
x

 

[Aldridge]

Hi Aldridge,
just a bit curious as to why you don't consider yourself brave for confronting something you're petrified of.

Good question. I guess it's because it was, after all, just a check-up appointment (though I knew he'd do a bit of cleaning) and there are people on here giving ME support who are going for appointments for much bigger procedures and not panicking as much as I was! They're the brave ones. I'm still working on it!

 

[kitkat]

I'm about to slip into your shoes, Aldridge. I have a routine appointment approaching in one week after 6 months. The countdown begins 6 months goes by soo quickly sometimes, doesn't it?! I feel like I was just there.

 

[Aldridge]

Yes, it's amazing how fast the time between appointments goes. You were such a big help to me last week, lending me all your support and willpower, now I'm lending it back to you with a bit more on top! I am sure you will be able to post a afterwards. It is a huge boost to be able to post one of those instead of . I am sending you lots of and
Can you tell I am addicted to these smileys?
P.S. Please may I borrow the support and willpower back next July?

 

[shamrockerin]

Sadly, I think she's more comfortable discussing my fears than I am! I also wonder sometimes what my dental records say about me! Especially when I have had a particularly difficult treatment! I'm glad I'm not the only person who is concerned about how they may look down on paper!

I know exactly what you mean here. When I went for my exam, I kinda had a panic attack, and my dentist stopped for a minute to let me calm down and meanwhile was trying to get me to talk about "what's going on inside." I didn't want to talk about my fears at all because it's embarrassing, but he seemed pretty willing to hear them.

And I also wonder what my file looks like. I wonder if it just contains the usual stuff, like the chart and the x-rays. . .what if it contains the letter I wrote, too? Worse than that, what if they make notes about my stress level and my behavior (specifically, the nail digging thing). Ugh- I hate to think about it.

 

[carole]

I recently got a copy of my dental records and they are just straight forward business, no comments about panic attacks or how odd they may think I am. They were interesting but there wasn't any personal remarks about me. Thank goodness, about the only thing mentioned was that I was a very nervous patient.

So maybe it isn't such a big deal to them after all. I think you have done really well too

 

[kitkat]

Thank you, Aldridge. I need to go back and re-read the posts I sent to you and address them to myself now.

I know exactly what you mean here. When I went for my exam, I kinda had a panic attack, and my dentist stopped for a minute to let me calm down and meanwhile was trying to get me to talk about "what's going on inside." I didn't want to talk about my fears at all because it's embarrassing, but he seemed pretty willing to hear them.

This exact scenario has happened to me before too! I kinda freaked out just before she started on a filling and was just shaking/trembling (a lot, especially my lips ) and she stopped everything and told me to take a minute to relax. I was shocked! Treatment has never been halted before due to my anxiety! Then she wanted to have a discussion about why I was so nervous because I was more nervous than usual. I really appreciate her concern and desire to better understand me but I just wanted to climb in a hole and disappear . I told her I didn't really know why I was nervous to dodge the question and then the dentist and her assistant just stared at me for a few minutes while I tried to get it together (awkward! ). My dentist finally started making some suggestions to ease my fears like "do you think it would help if we tried ....?" and I was more open to interacting with her about that. Then she spent the rest of the treatment talking about times when she has felt really nervous. I think that was in an attempt to "normalize" it but I really just wanted to drop the subject and go back to ignoring the big white elephant in the middle of the room!

I was able to be a little more direct with her at my last filling appointment and tell her that the sound of the drill gets to me but that is only because she kept stopping every 5 seconds to check if I was okay because I guess I looked uncomfortable . She also kept trying to offer breaks this last time and I was like "No you can keep going. I'm fine, let's just get this done!". Never thought I would want a dentist to ignore my anxiety at some point!

And I also wonder what my file looks like. I wonder if it just contains the usual stuff, like the chart and the x-rays. . .what if it contains the letter I wrote, too? Worse than that, what if they make notes about my stress level and my behavior (specifically, the nail digging thing). Ugh- I hate to think about it.

Part of me has always wanted to request my dental records just to see what is actually in them but at the same time I dread finding out! It probably says at the very least that I am a very nervous patient but I don't even want that in there. I don't why it bothers me so much since like at least 50% of all patients' records probably say that!

 

[Kim]

Lol - I don't need to see my records to know that the whole surgery must know just how nervous I am

 

[shamrockerin]

This exact scenario has happened to me before too! I kinda freaked out just before she started on a filling and was just shaking/trembling (a lot, especially my lips ) and she stopped everything and told me to take a minute to relax. I was shocked! Treatment has never been halted before due to my anxiety! Then she wanted to have a discussion about why I was so nervous because I was more nervous than usual. I really appreciate her concern and desire to better understand me but I just wanted to climb in a hole and disappear . I told her I didn't really know why I was nervous to dodge the question and then the dentist and her assistant just stared at me for a few minutes while I tried to get it together (awkward! ). My dentist finally started making some suggestions to ease my fears like "do you think it would help if we tried ....?" and I was more open to interacting with her about that. Then she spent the rest of the treatment talking about times when she has felt really nervous. I think that was in an attempt to "normalize" it but I really just wanted to drop the subject and go back to ignoring the big white elephant in the middle of the room! [/QUOTE

It seems like our experiences are mirror images of each other! When I had a panic attack during my exam, he let me sit up and calm down for a minute. meanwhile he was trying to get me to talk, which really doesn't work when I;m at that point. My instinct is to "shut down" before I have a total meltdown. When I wouldn't answer him, he asked "OK, are you more afraid of losing your teeth or needing work done on them?" and questions like that where I could just give really short answers like "the second one".

Then he went into the whole spiel about trying to find a way to help me relax (still waiting on that one). As the assistant was working on me, she kept talking about her biggest fear is eating in a restaurant, trying to make me feel like my fear isn't weird or silly I guess, but by that point I just wanted to get out of there ASAP.

I don't think anything will beat when I had my crown re-cemented on though. It wasn't painful at all, but it was the first time I'd really been to a dentist (not counting just the quick look he had the week beforehand) so my panic and anxiety were off the charts. He could see I was "petrified" (his words) and he was finally just like: "Will you look at me? I am a person too. . .I'm trying to help you". I think he was trying to disabuse me of the mindset that all dentists are evil sadists or something.

I've been back a number of times since then because he was obviously making an effort to help me, my tooth and my attitude, but I'm still pretty much a mess whenever i go.

 

[kitkat]

It seems like our experiences are mirror images of each other! When I had a panic attack during my exam, he let me sit up and calm down for a minute. meanwhile he was trying to get me to talk, which really doesn't work when I;m at that point. My instinct is to "shut down" before I have a total meltdown. When I wouldn't answer him, he asked "OK, are you more afraid of losing your teeth or needing work done on them?" and questions like that where I could just give really short answers like "the second one".

Then he went into the whole spiel about trying to find a way to help me relax (still waiting on that one). As the assistant was working on me, she kept talking about her biggest fear is eating in a restaurant, trying to make me feel like my fear isn't weird or silly I guess, but by that point I just wanted to get out of there ASAP.

Wow! It really is amazing how similar our experiences were. I'm comforted to know someone else has experienced almost the exact same appointment because that one always sticks out in my mind as a pretty bad one! But maybe it happens more than we think? I totally understand the "shut down" mode. Sometimes, the only way to keep the sympathetic nervous system from escalating completely out of control is to just pull the plug on it and reboot the system which takes a few minutes. During that appointment she suggested we try a bite-block around the moment I went into "shut down" and I just nodded not really sure what I was agreeing to. I guess the theory is if you can rest your jaw it will help you relax. I freaked out for a short second having my mouth propped open with a rubber block but immediately closed my eyes and mentally willed myself to relax and it actually helped a lot . In about 3-5 seconds, all of the tension just drained out of me. She checked with me to make sure I was accepting of it after it was in place and I chose to use it for the whole appointment. Shocking right?! Especially for someone with big control issues! I did have a stop signal always at the ready but I never had to use it.

I don't think anything will beat when I had my crown re-cemented on though. It wasn't painful at all, but it was the first time I'd really been to a dentist (not counting just the quick look he had the week beforehand) so my panic and anxiety were off the charts. He could see I was "petrified" (his words) and he was finally just like: "Will you look at me? I am a person too. . .I'm trying to help you". I think he was trying to disabuse me of the mindset that all dentists are evil sadists or something.

I've been back a number of times since then because he was obviously making an effort to help me, my tooth and my attitude, but I'm still pretty much a mess whenever i go.

I'm not sure I have had any particular appointment that stands out as particularly more horrendous than the others with regards to my fear. Each one is pretty unique and special in it's own way! I was so nervous for my wisdom teeth extractions though that they administered the IV sedation that was calculated to knock me out for the whole procedure and NOTHING! I got a little head rush and felt dizzy, gripped the chair because I felt like I was going to fall over/blackout (which is probably the point ) and bounced right back to normal. You should have seen the nurse' face when she told me she gave me the sedation and I asked her how long it takes to work! She just said, "you should be unconscious right now...I think you need more ." Never had sedation btw so I'm not immune or anything...just pure natural adrenaline!

My most fearful appointment with my actual dentist was probably also my first "procedure" because I just didn't have that trust-relationship established with her yet and had no idea what to expect with her. Plus, first filling in 10 years so a lot of fear of the unknown there. I was a minor (about 15) at the time and my mom took the liberty of making the appointment, and not telling me about it til 5 minutes before, and forced me to go! I was also the first person in the family to have treatment with her so she had no idea really if she was sending me to a total sadist or not. I had one cleaning/exam appointment with her and she wasn't particularly friendly but showed a much kinder, compassionate side when I showed up for the first filling completely terrified . I don't think I will ever get over my mom springing that treatment on me though!

 

[shamrockerin]

I was so nervous for my wisdom teeth extractions though that they administered the IV sedation that was calculated to knock me out for the whole procedure and NOTHING! I got a little head rush and felt dizzy, gripped the chair because I felt like I was going to fall over/blackout (which is probably the point ) and bounced right back to normal. You should have seen the nurse' face when she told me she gave me the sedation and I asked her how long it takes to work! She just said, "you should be unconscious right now...I think you need more ." Never had sedation btw so I'm not immune or anything...just pure natural adrenaline!

I've never had IV sedation before, but I've used nitrous and Valium and I still haven't felt the effects of either.

Last appointment, I had 5 Valium in my system, and they said the nitrous was at a pretty high level and I still sat there digging my nails into my hand the whole time.

I think I'll try the nitrous one more time, but if it doesn't work I am going to cut my losses. It costs alot and my insurance doesn't cover it. I wouldn't mind paying for it if it helped me relax at all, but I cannot afford to keep paying for something that does nothing.

 

[coolin]

I know the dentists on here like Lincoln and Gordon prefer temazepam to diazepam(valium) for oral sedation. Something to do with the duration of action? Maybe diazepam peaks too soon to be of much use in the chair. I took 10mg diazepam once for a long flight to try to relax me and I only felt a little relaxed so 5mg seems a bit light...?
Might be worthwhile asking for that instead?
Coolin

 

[kitkat]

I've never had IV sedation before, but I've used nitrous and Valium and I still haven't felt the effects of either.

Last appointment, I had 5 Valium in my system, and they said the nitrous was at a pretty high level and I still sat there digging my nails into my hand the whole time.

I think I'll try the nitrous one more time, but if it doesn't work I am going to cut my losses. It costs alot and my insurance doesn't cover it. I wouldn't mind paying for it if it helped me relax at all, but I cannot afford to keep paying for something that does nothing.

Maybe we are just beyond pharmaceutical help! I agree, I would not keep paying for something that is no help. I kept telling myself that I might not make it to this appointment on Thursday (because I almost couldn't) and now I have confirmation today that I can make it. Bummer! The thought of cancelling has kept me really calm in the meantime though. It stalled accepting it as reality. I hate routine appointments. I always have a feeling I'm going to get really unexpected news (usually not great news); which did happen last time so that is not completely unfounded.

 

[shamrockerin]

Maybe we are just beyond pharmaceutical help!

I am pretty sure I am beyond ANY help.