Another Countdown

[freakout]

Hi Lets Thanks for the support. I guess I am just a little emotional today. Not sure how long the appointment is for, just know that is is at 11:30am on Tuesday. It seems the closer it gets, the more I panic and worry about things. My last dental visit, they took x-rays and I had to push my jaw farthur than I should, causing jaw spasms for several days, and my mouth was only open for a minute. Can't imagine the time necessary for the cleaning. It seems everytime they do things to the mouth, when I am not numb, I have problems. That's probably why I am freaking out (no pun intended). The thought of the spasms, headaches & pain is really upsetting me. Probably doesn't help my mood that I haven't slept much the last few days.

I know I should just go and get it over with, but my fears seem to have taken there toll, making me want ti give up. I have come so far, but this is so hard

 

[letsconnect]

Those are excellent reasons to ask to be numbed, and anyone in their right mind would be able to understand and heed your request . After all, who wouldn't want to avoid spasms, headaches and pain?

I don't think you will have any problems if you let the hygienist know about your TMJ problems. It's a very straightforward and reasonable request!

 

[freakout]

Thanks Lets...I am trying to figure out exactly what to say and how to ask for the numbing, without sounding like a whimp I just hate this feeling of being so ashamed of how I feel. Deep down I know I should not be ashamed of how I feel, I guess it is just the years of the looks and the attitudes of others when the dentist was mentioned. "Like you should have gone to the dentist earlier" It's just a cleaning, what are you afraid of!" "You've gone through so many jaw surgeries, you should want to take care of your teeth. Your oral surgeon would be so upset that you let your teeth get to this state." "She didn't take care of her teeth, thats why she has a denture (never mind I broke them in an accident)"

 

[letsconnect]

I can totally understand how such remarks would wreak havoc with anyone's self-esteem or sense of self-worth.

But in reality, they say more about the person/s who made them than about you. Making someone else feel bad about themselves is hardly admirable, even if it's done with the best intentions.

You can bet your life that these people wouldn't worry about sounding like a whimp! So why should you?

You have every right to be treated well

 

[freakout]

Thanks Lets...I keep telling myself I have every right to be treated well. I know my dentist always treats me with the utmost respect and compassion. I just worry about the hygentist and how she will treat me. I just don't want the look. The look of "Oh what a whimp, she wants to be numbed up" I am not sure if numbing me with the gel will be enough, I really think the bottom jaw will need to be numbed, in order to prevent problems with my TMJ. I just hate the thought of asking.

 

[letsconnect]

As I said - your TMJ problems are a more than legitimate reason to ask to be numbed (not that you should need to justify yourself). Even if she did give you "the look" (which I highly doubt), all that would mean is that she's never experienced TMJ pain.

But I would think that, if your dentist is a compassionate kinda guy, he's unlikely to want to have horrible, uncaring hygienists working for him. It doesn't make sense from a business point of view, for starters .

 

[freakout]

Thanks Yesterday I actually had an anxiety attack!! Luckily the dentist office was closed, or I probably would have cancelled. I am hoping to keep the anxiety at bay today, so I won't pick up the phone and cancel. Common sense tells me cancelling will only put off the inevidable, & I would have to go through all of this anxiety again. But as you know, sometimes we phobics let the anxiety take over and cancelling is our only option. I know, however, if I have another full blown anxiety attack today, I won't be able to avoid picking up the phone to cancel the appointment.

I keep worrying about asking to be numbed up....I can not speak when I see the dentist, how can I ask someone I haven't met any questions...Can you tell I am very shy and hate meeting new people. My only hope is, if the dentist sees me and asks if I still have tenderness in the gums, then I will be able to answer they are very tender STILL!!

Sorry to babble, but I only have 26 hours to go

 

[letsconnect]

How about writing your concerns down and giving the note to the hygienist? I know you've tried this in the past and your hands were shaking too badly to do so (though I may be getting mixed up here... I've got the memory of a clownfish)... but if you actually held the letter in your right hand while in the waiting room (or even before entering), it might be easier to pass the letter on?
I don't really know how things work in your dental office, I just know that here, you are usually greeted with a handshake when you meet a dentist for the first time (dunno about hygienists because the dentists usually do the cleanings themselves, but I doubt it would be any different). So you'd be pretty much "forced" to hand it over...

Just an idea, maybe it's a dumb one!

 

[freakout]

Thanks It's not a dumb idea. I do have something in mind to write & will write it out, however I am the one with the very, very shakey hand (which make me very self-conscience and I really doubt I will be able to hand the paper over But I will be prepared just in case. I am starting to be overcome with anxiety again today, however I am trying really hard to keep the panic at bay, & not pick up the phone and cancel. Good thing for me I always dread talking to his receptionitsts

 

[letsconnect]

There's nothing wrong with shakey hands - if anything, it will give her a good clue that you are very nervous and that she has to be very gentle with you . Look at it this way: you're essentially hiring her for a job - so you have the right to expect the job to be finished to your liking. If you hired someone to paint your bedroom walls, would you be scared of saying which color you want your room to be? Probably not. It's the same thing here: the hygienist *needs* to know what your requirements (in terms of pain relief, gentleness etc.) are, so that she can do a job that you'll be satisfied with .

 

[freakout]

Thanks. I know all that is true, I am the customer, however something happens to me when I enter that office....I feel like a littel child, who is afraid of there own shadow, too frightened to speak. I hope it is different tomarrow, but right now the panic has taken full control and I am just terrified I think I am more afraid that I won't be able to convey the fact that I want to be numbed up than anything else

 

[brit]

Could you send an urgent e-mail? I've found it much easier to ask questions by e-mail than ever I would have done in person.
In my case, the main question was, 'So far I have found dental cleanings in Holland to be rather rough and painful, do you think someone at your practice could do this gently as I was used to in England?

I got 3 out of 3 positive responses but went to the one who suggested I just went for a 'free' chat to see if I liked them.

 

[vicki]

I know what you mean - there's usually a whole list of things that I want to say at appointments but I can't say anything because it's like my voice is trapped inside my body. The words are in my head, but that's where they stay, no matter how much I desperately want to speak . Yet once I'm out of "the room" and I'm downstairs talking to the receptionist and making the next appointment, although I'm still scared, I can actually speak again.

Something is obviously preventing you from saying what you want to (for whatever reason) just like it does for me. It's taken me ages (well, years actually ) to figure it out for my situation and it seems to be a combination of a few things.

It's alright for you to be shaking and nervous - you know that because you've had quite a few appointments now and your dentist has been OK about it hasn't he? The chances are that the hygienist will be OK too . If your dentist is OK, then it's unlikely that he'd have someone who is awful working in his office isn't it?

Asking to be numbed up seems a completely reasonable request - especially considering your TMJ and everything else . I'm sure you're not asking for anything unusual. Just like when someone goes into a coffee bar and asks for coffee with milk and no sugar - nothing odd about that, it's the customer's choice, just the same as it's your choice .

Do you find it easier to speak over the phone? If so, maybe you could give them a call before your appointment and either ask to speak to the hygienist or get them to pass a message on.

 

[freakout]

Thanks Brit & Vicki. First they don't have an e-mail address anymore so thats not an option. Second, I am hoping that I will get home early today, so I will be there when they call to confirm the appointment. With any luck I will be able to convey the fact that I am nervous about seeing the hygentist. I know the dentist never makes light of my shaking, so hopefully she won't either. My sister has said he numbs alot of patients up for cleanings, my hope is they will ask me if I would like him to numb me up, that way all I will have to say is OK or yes. Those replies are really easy for me lol. As that is all I can usually manage to reply when I see the dentist. My biggest fear is they won't ask, and I won't ask for it either

 

[brit]

You definitely need a note on a piece of paper then, just as back-up in case any phone message doesn't get passed on. For future instances, just send a letter stating you want it clearly indicated in your records that you should be numbed up for all cleanings unless you state otherwise, because of your TMJ. Hardly an unreasonable request.

 

[freakout]

Thanks Brit...It is just getting past this first time, I guess. I guess I put alot of pressure on myself, not to look like a whimp. My sister used to work for the dentist and sometimes I think "I shouldn't fear any treatment, especially a cleaning." I'm also nervous as to if this is a regular or a deep cleaning, but I guess I will find out soon Can't imagine my fear if I knew for sure. I guess I am just really down an anxious today. The anxiety level is unbelievable. I just hope I will be able to convey my fears tomarrow, be it in writing or verbally.

 

[letsconnect]

We should start a "Whimps are us" club, and you'll be able to wear your "I'm a whimp and proud of it" T-shirt and "Whimps are Cool" badge ! (PayPal and all major credit accepted...)

Seriously though, you're not a whimp - your concerns are completely rational, and any sane person with your TMJ problems would ask to be numbed.

 

[freakout]

Thanks Lets...I needed a good laugh I know has have the right to be numb, but I also know how I am at the dentist office. Funny thing is that if my appointment was with the dentist, I would probably have no problem showing my nerves and asking. I guess it's just the hygentist is new, and I haven't heard good things about her. Not that she is mean or anything, just older and misses things. Older dental professionals scare me as the last dentist (the one who caused my phobia) was old and set in his ways.

One good thing though, you have all helped to keep me somewhat calmer, half the day is gone and I have not picked up the phone to cancel my appointment. Hopefully I will make it through the rest of the day without cancelling. The closer the appointment get the more anxiety I have

 

[letsconnect]

The thing about her missing things might just be unfounded gossip, for all we know. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you'll get on well with her . I sort of had a similar problem in that I was also scared of older dental professionals, but the guy I'm seeing now is a bit older and it wasn't as much of a problem as I thought it might be.

 

[freakout]

Yes, that's what I was thinking (gossipwise) Also I am sure the dentist will want to take a look & will tell if something was missied. Also I don't have all that many teeth to be cleaned, so she shouldn't miss much. I hope I have a good experience with her too. Hopefully no unkind words or looks of disapproval. Above all GENTLE. Still very worried about being numbed, or asking for it. Espescially anxious the closer it gets (18 hours to go). I am proud of myself for not cancelling, & the closer it gets, the less chance I will do that. Still deep down I have that feeling "there is no way I can do this".