fearing the worse!

[Nat]

I have an overwhelming need to cancel my upcoming appointment in June I nearly did it yesterday but stopped myself, no idea how I managed that but the feeling is so tempting right now. I guess I am just being silly but I seriously dont think I can go through with it. So many thoughts and fears keep rearing their ugly heads and I am feeling like a nervous wreck right now. Every waking moment I have I think about my appointment and how easy it would be just to pick the phone up and cancel. I have my mum coming about 300 miles from home to come with me, I feel like such a child and dont know what to do

 

[letsconnect]

Hi Nat, well done for not cancelling - it sounds like you were very tempted, but you managed to stop yourself .

Can you elaborate a bit more - assuming that you did decide to go, what would your "ideal" appointment be like?

 

[freakout]

Hi Nat I know how tempting it can be to just cancel, but deep down you know you are only postponing the inevidible. Sometimes I reread past posts to gather up my courage. I have an appointment tomarrow for a crown and some fillings, and believe me the thought of cancelling has crossed my mind more than once. Remember how great you felt about your dentist after your last visit? I think you said he was amazing! I know that the fear takes over, but he really sounds like he is going to do everything possible to make you feel comfortable.

You have come so far You can do this

 

[Nat]

Can you elaborate a bit more - assuming that you did decide to go, what would your "ideal" appointment be like?

Well, I want to be able to go, be the ideal patient and not have this overwhelming fear that seems to be taking over my life at the moment. I basically want the work to be done and not fear the pain, the sedation and everything else that comes with it. My main fear is still being sedated, it doesnt matter how hard I try I just cant get past the fear factor. I know I cant get the work done without the sedation but its taking over my every thought. I am worried about any pain diromg the procedures, I am worried about the pain after and mostly dry socket? I have never heard of that before until I came onto this site and realised a lot of people suffered from it after having teeth out.

I am also petrified of freaking out when he is inserting the IV. A lot of people have said try to cast your mind away from it and think of other things while its being done and try not to remember that your sedated but thats a whole lot easier said than done isnt it, I just dont know what to do anymore

 

[letsconnect]

I am worried about any pain diromg the procedures

From your description of your dentist, it sounds to me like he will do his damndest to make the experience pain-free . Would it help you to know that he would stop immediately in the event that you did feel any pain? With IV sedation, you'll still be awake and able to give stop signals - and you might find it easier to give stop signals than in the normal way, because of the relaxing effect of the anti-anxiety drug.

I am worried about the pain after and mostly dry socket?

Dry socket is most common after removal of wisdom teeth in the lower jaw, does this apply to you? Following the post-op instructions will keep the risk to a minimum. A lot of people don't seem to know about what to do and what not to do after having teeth removed, maybe because the information isn't passed on in an easy-to-understand way.
Normal "healing" afterpain can be managed with painkillers (the most important thing to remember is to take painkillers before any pain sets in - it's much easier to prevent pain than to get rid of it).

I am also petrified of freaking out when he is inserting the IV.

Are you worried about pain upon insertion, or is it more the "general idea" of it that makes you terrified?

 

[Nat]

The wisdom tooth that is coming out is top left and im not to bothered about the needle going in as I can look away, its more the whole concept of having it that is freaking me out the most. I cant go through with any procedures without it so I am going to have to have it done but as I have never had anything like it before, other that a spinal block when giving birth which from what I can understand isnt really the same thing! I dont know what to expect! Well saying that I do know what to expect because of what I have been told here but I sometimes think well, everyones different, some people may like the idea of being 'spaced' out but I dont. My idea of sedation so far is having a feeling of being somewhere, but not. Having time go by very quickly and not remembering anything after, which sounds good to me but I suppose I think it wont work like that for me and I will panic and do something stupid, which means my dentist wont treat me anymore, I have taken so long to find someone like him and I guess I am worried he will think I am a total nut! So perhaps thats what it all boils down to really, acting like a total idiot in front of someone who I need to treat me?

 

[letsconnect]

I sometimes think well, everyones different, some people may like the idea of being 'spaced' out but I dont.

The effects of IV sedation are far more predictable than the effects of oral sedation, and you don't see the "everyone's different" effect in the same way. With IV sedation, your dentist can easily fine-tune the level of sedation to your own comfort-level, so it might be an idea to talk to him about this before your appointment? That you tell him when you feel good?

I suppose I think it wont work like that for me and I will panic and do something stupid, which means my dentist wont treat me anymore, I have taken so long to find someone like him and I guess I am worried he will think I am a total nut! So perhaps thats what it all boils down to really, acting like a total idiot in front of someone who I need to treat me?

Did you have the same worry (about him thinking you're a total nut) before you first met him? How did he react in reality?

 

[Dieanha]

Hi Nat,

Hope you can keep up the good work. Don't worry about what your dentist might think. just remember you are not the only one who as a dental fear. most likely your dentist has others worse than you. You are not a baby. It's a real fear. You can't help how you feel. We would all like to not have this fear. I know if i could change it I would. It's not within my power to change it. i just keep hoping that someday i can overcome it. For now I just take it one day at a time. i've been lucky in that my appt have been quick. I went yersterday for a cleaning. i only had 3 days to worry about it. and the truth is it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. i hadn't been in 20+ years. I had alot of tarer build up. They gave me laughing gas and a topical numbing. I didn't feel anything. And they were scaping pretty hard. Friday I go to the oral surgan. Than again on tues to my dentist. To start the treatment. I have a ton of dental work to be done. But I just keep telling myself It as to be done as it will only get worse. and that will mean more work. Good Luck to you.

 

[harper]

hi nat
he wont think your a nut honestly. i worried about being a pain for ages everything mine did for me i seemed to find something else hurt,i worried constantly i still do,especially that ive upset him somehow i was terrified for my first few appointments and was sedated i even thought god im a pain needing that but he showed me a list of the people who were having sedation on one day and it was huge! does he know about your fears? do you think you can tell him? if not can u write it down? ive written mine 2 letters and it reallt helped. it took me 22yrs to find c and im so glad i did . you can do it

 

[Nat]

Did you have the same worry (about him thinking you're a total nut) before you first met him? How did he react in reality?

Honeslty no I didnt think that, I thought he may have thought I was over reacting and that I was a pain but when I left on the second visit I felt great didn't I! I just dont know how I am going to get throught the next couple of weeks feeling like I do

 

[letsconnect]

Honeslty no I didnt think that, I thought he may have thought I was over reacting and that I was a pain but when I left on the second visit I felt great didn't I!

Do you feel the same thing might happen again? That once you actually meet him, you will feel a lot calmer? He does seem to have a very calming presence, from what you've described.

 

[brit]

I have an overwhelming need to cancel my upcoming appointment in June I nearly did it yesterday but stopped myself, no idea how I managed that but the feeling is so tempting right now. I guess I am just being silly but I seriously dont think I can go through with it.
..... I have my mum coming about 300 miles from home to come with me, I feel like such a child and dont know what to do  

Hi Nat
Sorry to read how worried you still are. Please try re-reading all your posts from the beginning if you can bear it....you may then realise that this opportunity to get yourself sorted out is too good to pass up.

That lady at the Health Authority who arranged for this dentist to see you, clearly didn't just pass you off on any old dentist with space on their list...which she could have done and still fulfilled her job role on paper. Instead she got you in with one whom she trusted; and whom she knew had the best chance to help you..with i/v sedation available. This lady deserves some flowers when it's all over!

It's understandable that you are finding the long wait so frustrating and worrying; but I really think the reality will be much more positive than you are currently imagining.

From what I've read, i/v sedation is bound to work fine, it is oral sedation which is hit and miss; and varies from person to person, like hospital pre-meds before GA (never work for me) but the GA does of course!!!
Remember there have been no negative accounts of I/V sedation on here. I personally had no real afterpain after wisdom teeth being removed - I had not heard of dry socket, so didn't worry about getting it..maybe there's such a thing as being too well-informed???

As I said before, your 'very nice sounding' dentist is going to be expecting you to be nervous and probably in tears - you don't need to worry about the state you will be in, because he has already reacted extremely well to your 'doing your worst' and he knows you a bit better now, so if anything he's likely to be more sympathetic (if that's possible) not less.

You said elsewhere your partner wasn't going to come in to the treatment room with you - if you're really so worried, I think you should consider asking him or your Mum to come in, just to give you moral support until you're under, then he/she can wait outside. By not having them there, you're putting too much pressure on yourself to be composed...as I said, you do not need to be composed..someone to lean against as you walk through the door, he/she can hold your hand while they put the i/v in.
It's great that your Mum is going to come to support you..is that with the kids afterwards? Another reason to be less tense about it...you will have extra help so you will be able to recover properly.  

What's the date in June? Please don't cancel because you will undoubtedly regret it.

 

[Nat]

I am not to sure if I will feel OK when I see him again Lets, I am hoping that i dont break down and act stupid! Maybe I am just thinking about it to much but when you have something due that you are phobic about then I guess thats what you do, think about it all the time and fear the worse! I wake up and think abpout it I got ot sleep thinking about it, I think the only time its not constantly on my mind is when I am at work but then it still creaps up on me every now and again

The dentist is a very calm and understanding man, from what I have seen so far so I am hoping this wont change, I keep thinking back to the previous man I saw and remember him laughing at me when he was asking me if I can handle having the work done seeing as I cant even cope with having an X Ray, I think maybe I am being a real pain in the rear and he will get fed up with me being this way?

Thanks for your reply Brit, you make a lot of sense! My mum is coming down only because she knows how frightened I am and I guess she just wants to be there for me! She is also helping me after with my daughter and as she practices Reiki she wants to help me out before hand too with some head massages and soothing bits and bobs! I dont think I want anyone in the treatment room with me because I know if I have someone who knows me I will get very upset and I dont want that, I am going to be upset enough as it is so having a member of my family with me will only make me worse

My appointment is on the 15 June and believe me, I am counting the days, hours and minutes!

 

[harper]

hi nat
if hes a kind person now he wont change,i would think its his nature although obviously everyone has bad days. im always thinking im a pain in the butt and that c will get fed up with me but he says no i wont and your not a pain. dont know if you can or want to but my hubby came in whilst i had the iv put in and then he went outside. on one app the Anesthetist said to him you look more nervous than she does hubbies reply- no im just making sure she doesnt leg it out the door! now i dont feel i need the sedation . stick with it you can do it

 

[letsconnect]

Hi Nat, it's a real bummer you weren't able to get an appointment sooner, before the fears had a chance to kick in big-time again .

The dentist is a very calm and understanding man, from what I have seen so far so I am hoping this wont change, I keep thinking back to the previous man I saw and remember him laughing at me when he was asking me if I can handle having the work done seeing as I cant even cope with having an X Ray, I think maybe I am being a real pain in the rear and he will get fed up with me being this way?

So your fear of "breaking down and acting stupid" has more to do with your experience with the last dentist?
The difference though is this: you've already put your dentist to the test, and he wasn't phased by your fear at all. Instead, he was very supportive (in total contrast to dentist #1). He also has expressed a specific interest in catering to people with a phobia. If he does have this interest, do you really think he'd suddenly change?

Realistically speaking, you've got nothing to worry about - even if you "acted stupid" (which I suppose translates to "acting scared"), I don't think it would make any difference. He knows that your fear won't go away overnight and that you need to have a few good experiences before you can feel relaxed.

 

[Nat]

Actually, in you saying that Lets made me remember something he said to me when I was last there, he said something like, this will not go away with just the one visit which is why I want to sedate you, I want you to be as comfortable as I can possibly make you so as when you do come back and your not sedated you wont be as frightened of me as you were when I first saw you! he also said he would not hurt me and make sure I was adequately numb for the work and wont begin until he knows that I am. Thanks Lets, I know that perhaps I am being irrational and maybe I will try and think of all the good that is going to come out of this. I know I wont be able to stop thinking about it and fearing whats to come but I guess I can try my hardest not to let it beat me and one day I hope to be posting on the success board and help all the others out there that are just as frightened, if not more so of sedation!

 

[brit]

Actually, in you saying that Lets made me remember something he said to me when I was last there, he said something like, this will not go away with just the one visit which is why I want to sedate you, I want you to be as comfortable as I can possibly make you so as when you do come back and your not sedated you wont be as frightened of me as you were when I first saw you! he also said he would not hurt me and make sure I was adequately numb for the work and wont begin until he knows that I am.

Hi Nat
Why don't you print the above words off and stick them on your fridge? This man sounds so nice...it's almost unbelievable...I bet Michelle34 would be in love already   .  I also recall he said sth about 'knowing what other dentists are sometimes like and therefore understanding why patients get phobias.'
So all you have to do is get there on the day...how calm you are or not  is irrelevant...can't wait to read your post afterwards! You really can do it...
I'll disappear at the beginning of June as I'll be away (in UK actually but with no computer access) for a week or so.  
I'm sure your Mum being there will also help a lot.
Best wishes
Brit

 

[Nat]

Hi all, Im feeling terrible right now! I cant stop thinking about my appointment as its now in 2 weeks   I cant talk to anyone as no one seems to understand me, all I keep hearing is you will be fine, I went to the surgery yesterday, I decided to pay some more of my bill upfront, that way I know I cant chicken out as half of it has been paid for and if I cancel I will lose the money I have already paid, it was mainly an excuse to go in so I can perhaps feel a bit better about going on the 15th, it didnt really work though! I felt pathetic as I couldnt even get the money out of my purse to pay the receptionist as I was shaking to much, in the end she had to take it off me and count it all out herself   I did however ask if I could speak to my dentist as he said when I was last there I could pop in with any questions I had so I took that opportunity to do that as I know I wouldnt have been able to do it another time, they were very busy so she said she will get him to call me in the morning, I am so worried that at any time the phone is going to ring and its going to be him! I need so many questions answering and I think its mainly to give me reassurance but I cant bring myself to answer the phone when it rings in case it is him!! Pathetic huh!

I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me and why I cant feel good about going to get my teeth sorted out after so many years of not going, The main worry is sedation and I know I need to talk to him about it but im just worrying so much that I cant eat, sleep and when I do finally sleep, im dreaming about my appointment!

 

[Nat]

OK so he phoned! Its weird, when I talk to him I seem so much calmer than I think I would and he has such a calming voice!! I obviously managed to pick up the phone, even though I knew it was going to be him, I asked him some of my questions but with me shaking and being so scared I couldnt remember everything I needed to ask him! He has said I can take 4mg Diazepam the night before but nothing on the day of the appointment as he wants me to have a clear head so to speak and he will also dope me up while im there! He said he isnt going to do anything I am not comfortable with and will ensure I am at ease during the whole of my appointment, all I need to think about is that I have come this far, I want it done and he is going to be there for me! I think thats what I need really, someone who isnt just doing a job and who wants to get as many patients sorted as he possible can. He also kind of helped a little in my sedation fear, he mentioned that its not a total feeling of 'going under' its going to feel more like a gradual calming drug that is going to make me feel at ease with whats going on around me. I guess he has helped a little and it was very nice of him to phone me, the total fear of going isnt going to go away until after I have been for my first ever mouth surgery and to say I am bricking it is puttin it mildly but he has helped!

I suppose what I am mostly concerned about is when I am sedated, will I know I am? Im not sure I can put what I want to say into words but here goes! I dont want to be sitting there thinking oh this isnt so bad, then think oh god I am sedated, then come round, does that make any sense?

 

[happydancyfeet]

Hi Nat,
Your dentist sounds so nice and considerate. It really does help when they phone you beforehand doesnt it? The first dentist I went to for sedation did the same with me and it helped, although when i got there, i couldnt sit in the waiting room and stood just outside, he came out and gently took my arm and ushered me in.
Nat, I will pass on the advise I was given................ dont arrive too early, just get there with a few mins to spare.
Please believe him when he says you wont feel like you are "going under" that was one of my fears too, once the iv was in I didnt feel anything and dont remember anything at all.
You've come so far Nat, I'll be sending you positive thoughts on the day