Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.
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@Lindylou1601 I think I would probably burst into tears and be unable to even speak if I called the dentist office. I was already shaking when I had to make the appointment. 8 more days to feel like this and then my doomsday is here.
I'm sorry it's a struggle for you to eat. Stick to soft foods for a while. The extraction site will toughen up soon and not hurt when food touches it. When is your appointment to start the process for dentures?
@ScaredyCat22 at the end of June but I'm thinking about selling my 2 bedroom flat and buying a one bedroom one in the same building where I am now. It would give me some extra money and I'm thinking about implants. I'll see how it goes. You will be absolutely fine I'm sure of it. It's the waiting and stressing that is the worst part. Once you are out of the chair it will be over and you will feel so much better. Teeth are such a problem. I am so tired of stressing over them. I don't know if implants are the answer but dentures aren't great either. I'll talk to my housing manager hopefully soon and see how easy it will be to move. Stay strong.
@Lindylou1601 Implants are supposed to be the best option if you can afford it. I have always been too afraid to do it even though my partial denture didn't work out for me. I haven't used it in years and eat better without it. But it will be a problem if I lose this molar because I don't have any others on the bottom anymore. Are implants as expensive there as they are in the states? It would cost several thousand here. I hope you can get a good price on your flat if that's what you decide to do.
Sometimes I think I would be happier with no teeth at all so that I would never have to see or think about dentists ever again.
@ScaredyCat22 implants are very expensive here. My cousin just had some and it cost her thousands of pounds. One implant is about £2,500.00. I had a little denture of just 2 teeth and I hated it at first but after a few days it felt better. Millions of people have them. My Dad had an upper set. All my grandparents and uncle's and aunties had them too and they were fine with them. If I sell my 2 bedroom flat and get a one bedroom one I should have £30,000 in the bank which would pay for the implants and some left over. I emailed the manager today but it's bank holiday here in England so hopefully I will hear from her in the week. It's not nice having to sell my home for teeth but I can't let them make me miserable any more. Implants aren't always successful either. A few famous people have had them fail. I will try with the dentures though. They tell you to persevere. I've been researching dentures and implants constantly since I found out I was getting them. It's a horrible nightmare.
@Lindylou1601 Both of my parents had dentures. My father had full uppers and lowers. My mother had partial uppers and lowers. I think she only had 4 of her own teeth. They both did well with them and ate anything they wanted to. I had a partial lower denture for the 3 molars on the bottom. 2 on the left and one on the right. It was never comfortable. I had it adjusted 3 times and then I gave up and adjusted it myself because I was so sick of going back to the dentist and I felt like they were sick of me too. After that I was finally able to chew on it without pain. But I could always feel it there and I was always conscious of it and it was never truly comfortable. When I noticed some gum loss where the clasp always rubbed I gave up wearing it.
I have also read about how sometimes implants fail. That is another thing that kept me from it. I have already had enough terrifying procedures that did not help and I feel like I am just not a lucky person. I am afraid of the procedure and afraid I would go into debt to get them and have it not work out for me. I have a relative who had all her teeth out and got dentures very young. She was only 19. All her teeth were bad from grinding them so much. She has always got along great with her dentures. My ex husband has full dentures too and he loves them.
Edited to add that it is a shame you would have to sell your home to get them but if it worked out it would probably be worth it. It is very expensive here too. In the United States, people without insurance refer to teeth as "luxury bones" because not everyone gets to have them.
@ScaredyCat22 I honestly don't know what I am going to do about my situation. I love my home and I would hate to lose it so I will see how the appointment goes next month. I think this phobia makes us terrified of anything to do with teeth. It takes us over and all we can see is negativity. Nothing will work. It will always fail and hurt. I've read how people have to turn to counselling and therapy to deal with it. So many people I know have dentures and just get on with it. Maybe we look into everything too much and worry too much. We see everything that could go wrong and assume it will happen to us. Before my extraction they gave me a form to sign detailing everything that could go wrong. Adjacent tooth damage, nerve damage, dry socket etc etc etc. I got into such a terrible state over it and quizzed the dentist over it. Absolutely nothing happened to me and I was fine. I wish I could be like my brothers and my cousin and get on with it. I so envy them. Hope you're OK today and not stressing too much. Let me know how you are.
@Lindylou1601 Maybe you could try dentures first and only consider selling your home if you are not happy with the denture?
I am not doing great. I feel this constant level of approaching doom. I don't sleep much and when I do I have nightmares. I wish I had been able to tolerate the anxiety meds but they made me feel so sick. I am terrified of what will happen at my appointment. Sometimes the xrays gag me so much that I dry heave and then it's like my throat swells and closes and I can not catch my breath. Meanwhile, they will keep saying to me "breathe through your nose' like as if I can breathe at all, which is the actual problem and not that I am a mouth breather. I am afraid of them letting things fall down my throat and choke me. I am afraid they will work on me when I am not numb, I am afraid the numbing shots will hit a blood vessel and make my heart pound instead of making me numb, and I am afraid that whatever they do to me will leave me worse off because these are all things that have happened to me before.
I wish I could be one of those people who can just get on with it too. But I will never be one of those people. I wish my husband could understand my sheer terror and be a little supportive. When I see a dentist they might as well be the specter of death come to collect me because that is how I see them, except that death would just take me, not torture me first.
@ScaredyCat22 oh how I relate to your message. This fear we have takes us over and we can't see a way out. It doesn't matter how many people say to us we will be OK because we can't hear the words and even if we did hear them we wouldn't believe them anyway. I have been unwell since I had my tooth out because it's made things worse. I can't eat on either side of my mouth now and I'm at my witts end. I'm going to stay with my cousin on Friday for a few days because I feel so scared on my own. I desperately want my dentures now but I'm scared they won't be able to do them because the tooth has shifted where the clasp will be and I think it will have to be removed. My cousin is trying to reassure me but it isn't working.
I was terrified of having an x ray because I gag so much but the last time I forced myself to relax and it worked. I had to have an injection in the roof of my mouth which made me want to gag but I managed to control it. Afterwards when she put the gauze in my mouth I started to gag uncontrollably and she had to remove it. That's when I burst into tears. Your husband probably doesn't understand your fear because he doesn't share it. Most people aren't like us. They haven't had our experiences so they weren't left traumatised. I DO understand totally how you feel. I know every emotion you are feeling and can empathise totally with you. My home is my security. I left an unhappy relationship to be strong and independent 20 years ago and at the moment I am prepared to sacrifice my home in order to have implants. I so wish I could think logically and sensibly about this situation but my mind won't allow it. All I can see are problems and fear. You really aren't alone with your fears. I have 2 friends like it too. They both have been told they should have all their teeth removed. One was told her teeth are only being held in place by plaque. She now has a 2nd loose tooth. You will be so fine on the 13th. You will come through it without any pain. It will be quick and once the injection kicks in you will feel so relaxed. I will be there with you in spirit. I will be supporting you all the way and reassuring you. You won't be alone.
@Lindylou1601 Do you ever just get so upset that when someone offers one kind word to you it makes you cry? Because I'm crying a little now. It's a relief to speak to someone who understands the terror and trauma and I appreciate your support so much that it has brought me to tears. Thank you for being with me through this.
I'm sorry you're struggling to eat. It's important to keep your strength up. If you aren't eating much you should take a multi vitamin every day and maybe get some protein shakes to drink. Are you able to manage soft foods like scrambled eggs? Do you still have your premolars so you could chew more towards the front? That is what I have had to learn to do because of no molars on one side and now my only molar on the other side has gone bad with my filling missing. I try to chew towards the front, which will not be easy on Sunday because my son wants to take me out for pizza and to meet his girlfriend. I don't know if I will be able to manage pizza but I didn't want to say no and make him think I don't want to meet his girlfriend or have him tell her I said no and hurt her feelings. I assume they are quite serious if they are to the point that he wants me to meet her.
You can not make this decision to sell your home while you are so upset and worried. Like you said you love it there and it is your security. Don't think about selling right now until after you find out what would be involved in getting your denture. You could very well turn out to be one of those people who gets along fine with a denture and eats anything you want.
@ScaredyCat22 yes I do cry when someone offers me support or shows me kindness when I feel hopeless and helpless. It's happened to me recently. I have always thought of myself as being independent and my friends think I'm strong because I don't need a man in my life to be happy, but I have my fears and the dentist is one of them. It is something that has dominated my life for decades. Even at times in my life when I have been happy, if a problem arises with a tooth, my world immediately comes crashing down and I feel unable to cope. Now it's the denture that is worrying me. I just had a piece of fish with some tinned tomatoes and it was fine. I've been eating scrambled eggs and soup and yogurts but I'm getting so tired of it now. Oh for a slice of pizza. How wonderful that would be. I do hope you have a lovely time with your son and his girlfriend and I hope the tooth doesn't spoil your fun. I honestly believe you will be fine on the 13th and you will feel such relief when it is over. I still have 2 molars left on my bottom left but none on the top either side. I do have 3 pre molars on the top still but chewing isn't easy. My cousin showed me his teeth when I saw him and his are a bit worse than mine and he's been warned about 3 or 4 more teeth that he could have problems with. I feel like all I've thought about for weeks now is teeth. It's crazy to be like this but how do we stop? Stay in touch.
I know what you mean about your friends thinking you're strong. I am sometimes able to pretend in public that I am fine even though I'm not. Not many people know how terrified I am of the dentist or that I can't even look at a toothpaste commercial. I don't think my husband ever even noticed that I leave the room when anything to do with a dentist comes on the tv. I will pretend I'm fine when I meet my son's girlfriend and just hope pizza doesn't break my bad tooth. I really should have dealt with it sooner but I could not force myself to even call for an appointment. I have let this go for months until it started to get worse. So I worry it is too late.
I too can go along being a happy productive person until a tooth problem comes up. Then it's all I can think of to the exclusion of all else. I barely function in times like this. I envy people who get all their teeth out and have full dentures that work well and they never ever have to get a tooth ache or tooth problem again.
I'm glad you were able to eat. I do remember what it's like being sick of soup and eggs. Maybe some pancakes for a change? You could put some peanut butter on them for protein. I remember eating mashed potatoes and peas several times while I was healing. It did get tiresome. I will stay in touch and I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best.
@ScaredyCat22 I got a really kind message today from someone on this site. He had been reading my messages and saw that I lived in North London. He gave me the name of a dentist who apparently cares very much about nervous patients. I immediately visited the site and he does seem a kind man. Oh dear what a day I've had. I've been reading about dentures all afternoon and some people say they changed their life for the better. My dad had a full upper set and I remember my mum ringing me and saying what a terrible time he was having when he was having his teeth out. Later he was fine with them and could eat almost anything. He looked good in them too. I wish I could stop this misery and be like other people who seem to take it in their stride. I'm so glad you contacted me on this site after my first cry for help. You've helped me so much and it's so nice to know that I'm not alone with this misery. I'm going to stay with my cousin for a few days on Friday. I'm hoping it will make me feel better. He's another one who takes it all in his stride. So good to hear from you and I'll try some pancakes tomorrow. Keep me up to date with how you are. Take care and bye for now. X
@Lindylou1601 That's wonderful, are you going to try to see that dentist instead? Maybe he can help you to decide what would be best for you to do.
Everyone I know who got dentures is happy with them but I have read online about people who had a really difficult time. It's the same for implants I have read good and bad.
I am done with ever trying to replace my missing teeth.
Last night I took an over the counter sleeping pill in hopes of getting some rest. It didn't work. I am tired and stressed and scared to death. 5 more days until my appointment. You are definitely not alone in your dental misery. I hope you have a good time with your cousin and are able to relax and forget about teeth for a little while.
@ScaredyCat22 hi just seen your message. I will get back to you later today. I'm still not in a good place at the moment like you and have a few things to do before my cousin comes. Will be in touch later today. I'm scared too at the moment. My thoughts are driving me crazy. You're not alone with this fear.
@ScaredyCat22 hi I hope you're doing OK today. I'm not at all well with my anxiety. I have booked a couple of valuations for next week on my flat so I will see how it goes. I'm so pleased to be staying with my cousin. It has given me some space away from everything. I needed to get away for a few days. I hope you're OK and not stressing too much. You will be fine on the 13th and so relieved when it's over. Take care.
I'm glad you have someone to stay with, hopefully you can relax there and get a break from this constant stress. It will be nice to find out how much they think you could get for your flat even if you do end up not selling.
I am not doing well. I have not been eating much. Partly because I am just so upset and partly because even when I chew towards the front food is getting stuck in the hole where my filling used to be in that molar. I am afraid it is getting much worse.
Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the US and it's when I'm supposed to go out to eat with my son and his girlfriend. I will die of embarrassment if my tooth breaks while I'm trying to eat in public. I have not eaten in public since my filling started coming out.
Has eating gotten any easier for you yet?
Try to enjoy your weekend. I am trying to picture in my mind getting back to normal someday. Just having a normal boring day with no fear and no appointments hanging over my head like a dark cloud of doom.
@ScaredyCat22 yes it's nice to get away. I rang my dentist yesterday because eating is just becoming so difficult and it's affecting me now. I'm scared to go because I think another tooth will have to be extracted but I also want to go because I want it sorted out. I hope you have a happy mother's day with your son and his girlfriend tomorrow and I hope that eating won't be a problem for you. I absolutely long for a day when teeth won't dominate my life like they are at the moment. My cousin has issues too with his teeth and struggles to eat. It's a nightmare so many of us live with.
@Lindylou1601 Have you booked a sooner appointment because of the other tooth or are you still waiting for next month? I hope you won't need any more extractions but I suppose it is better to know for sure before you start your denture adventure. I am getting ready to go to lunch with my son for Mother's Day but I will be too nervous to eat much. I am looking forward to meeting his girlfriend even though it is exhausting to try to pretend that everything is fine! I hope you are feeling ok and were able to eat today.
@ScaredyCat22 I booked the sooner appointment because I'm struggling to eat at the moment and I want to sort the dentures out with my dentist. I also need a check up. I'm a bit concerned about another tooth that has shifted due to the gap and I'm worried that it might affect my denture and therefore need to be removed. I've decided it's time to get brave for my sanity. I've made myself ill over my teeth and I need to do something to stop this misery. I hope the meal with your son and his girlfriend went well and you were able to eat without any discomfort. I also hope you're not stressing too much about Tuesday. Please try to not get too stressed over it. What happened to you before was an exception to the rule and definitely won't happen again. This time you will be absolutely fine. I'll be in touch tomorrow to see how you are. Hope your Mother's Day went well.
@Lindylou1601 When is your next appointment? I'm glad they could fit you in sooner. I admire your brave attitude. I wish I could be brave.
It was good to see my son for Mother's Day and to meet his girlfriend. She seems very nice. I was too nervous to eat much but I was able to keep my feelings to myself and pretend that everything is fine. We went to a pizza place and I was so relieved that it was not one of those very tough, hard, difficult to chew crusts! It was the softer breadier type so I was able to eat a little. Of course I broke down and cried a little when I got home. That happens to me sometimes. I think it's the exhaustion from trying so hard to act like everything is ok. I am terrified about tomorrow and it does not help that my husband is grumpy about it.
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