How are your teeth feeling now? I really hope things have settled down with both your teeth. They have written in my chart that I will only ever see one dentist (the practice has 2 dentists) AND only one of his two assistants! I bet I could request a certain room too, but both rooms are equally as nice with big windows. I laid out ALL my fears during my first appointment. They even prepare the room with the window blinds completely open so I feel "less trapped". I didn't hold back at all- I figured if they can't handle me, then I needed to know from the start.

I could totally relate when you said you spent your 20's consumed by this phobia. I feel the same way. I have other phobia's too, and I know that I will look back and regret how much they have taken from me. Life is precious, and too short. You have a very inspiring journal- thank you so much for sharing x
Aw, Spider, thank you for the kind words and for checking in on me! I did stop chewing on that side. Occasionally (like now), I’m eating chicken tacos and it’ll slide over. I’ll bite down and it’s okay. However, after a few weeks, I tested it and it still does hurt with extreme pressure. Part of me wants to ask at my checkup if he can refill it if it’s still happening. It wasn’t a deep cavity, so I can’t see that being an issue. I still have a few months to go (March), and it doesn’t impact my daily life. In fact, even when I accidentally chew over there, it’s fine. I really have to hit it right with something really hard, which I avoid doing, so it can settle down if needed.
The top tooth is actually better! Okay, not 100% but I’m still holding out hope since the toothpaste said it could be up to 4 weeks. I’ve switched to a sensitivity toothpaste. I can eat and drink without issues. If I take a sip of really cold water and swish (it’s used to just have to be room temperature water), I’ll feel a bit, but it’s not anywhere like it was. Colgative Sensitivity for the win! Even if he wanted to do work on it, I would refuse. The tooth has a deep filling and sensitivity happens. It’s not impacting my life or what I eat, and if it gets worse, okay, then, I’ll deal with it.
Your dentist sounds so accommodating! I’m sure mine would be too if I asked (the left room is sooooo much better), but I’m not too vocal. At my first appointment, she couldn’t believe how bad my phobia was because I was so compliant and calm. I was like... “that’s just how I cope!”
It’s hard to lose a whole decade to this phobia. I’m sorry you went through it too. I stopped going at 14 and didn’t start again until 31. The teen years didn’t bother me because I was so young and carefree, but the older I got, the more self conscious I became about my smile and my dental health, but the fear was too strong. I would still really like to get braces. I am trying to work up the courage to make a consult. I’m at this point of my career where I’m really bubbly, am well-known and liked, do a ton of presentations, and I just want a smile that really reflects all that!

I sometimes wonder how people could even like me without straight teeth. Don’t they think I’m less of a person? But it just kind of feels like we’re our toughest critics, and if I get braces, it’s for me and not them. They already love me, and I just want to better myself.
One day...